The Ties that Bind
by laharvey125
Summary: Sequel to Reluctant Bonds - Its the start of the 4th Ninja War and Ritsuko's world turns upside down when her forgotten past comes back to haunt her. The worst is yet to come, will she be prepared for what Madara has in store for her?
1. Chapter 1: New Beginnings

I knew there was trouble the minute I saw that rose on my door step.

"Kankuro, you better not be in there," I groaned as I stepped into my apartment. Sure enough, he was in the kitchen. Dinner was elegantly spread out on the table and he was just lighting the candles.

He blew out the match and smiled at me. "Welcome home Ritsuko."

"You really need to stop doing this," I scowled. I turned to put away my sword Chikara, but also so he wouldn't see me blush. As annoying as his attentions were, it was also a little flattering.

"Stop what?" He feigned innocence.

"Proposing to me every week. I'm not going to change my mind, so just accept it."

"What makes you think this is a proposal?" He countered. "It could just be a nice dinner prepared by a friend."

I walked over to the table and pulled out one of the beautifully arranged flowers on the table. I pointed out an engagement ring carefully placed in the center of the petals.

"Alright, you caught me," he laughed. "I knew I should have put it somewhere else this time. But surely you're not going to want all this food to go to waste?"

The aroma was delicious and my stomach rumbled. "Well, I suppose not."

He helped me into my seat and quickly gave me a kiss on the cheek. I swatted him away. "You're going to have to kick this habit of yours or else I'm gonna kick you up one side of Sunagakure and down the other!"

He grinned. "I'd believe you, if it wasn't for that little confession of yours in the hospital."

I blushed furiously. "You were never supposed to hear it either! I thought you were dying!"

Ever since I relocated to Sunagakure, Kankuro and I had always had a sort of rivalry. He didn't like the idea of a foreigner with mercenary ties working as a personal guard to his younger brother. He also made fun of Chikara, which sealed my opinion of his as scum. But somehow our relationship began to change from flat out resentment to grudging respect to genuine friendship.

And it probably would have stayed that way except for his near death experience after battling Sasori of the Red Sand when Gaara-sama was captured. He was still very weak after Sakura Haruno of Konoha healed him. Temari-san could not abide the thought of her brother alone in the hospital, but her duties did not allow her time to stay at his bedside. So she once asked me to take a turn. As I sat there by his side, silently watching as he slept, I realized then how special he had become to me. He had somehow started to fill the hole in my heart, one that had always been there. Impulsively, I drew close, holding his hand and stroked his hair. "You can't die Kankuro," I had whispered. "They need you, Gaara-sama and Temari-san. And…I need you too."

The next thing I knew he grabbed me by the arms and pulled me in for a kiss. Embarrassed beyond belief, I slapped him hard across the face and ran away. I never had the heart to tell Temari-san why I left my post early that night, but I suspect that Kankuro must have told her. For shortly after his recovery we were required to work together more, and there was nothing I could to change her mind to re-assign me. Kankuro and I were still good friends, but it was always obvious that he was hoping for more than that.

"Did you hear? Akatsuki has lost another member," Kankuro said between mouthfuls.

"Which one?"

"That shark guy, Kisame Hohigaki."

"Wasn't he already dead?" I asked, slightly puzzled.

"Nope, it was just a clone. Granted this is supposed to be top secret, Gaara told me himself. Turns out he was hiding in that big sword of his in an attempt to gain access to Killer B and Naruto. He was routed out and committed suicide."

I bowed my head in thought. Poor senpai, how could he have fallen so far? He had always been someone I admired. I will always be grateful for his taking me in and saving me from my family. Any yet…

Kankuro gently rested a hand on mine, stirring me from my reverie. "Are you crying?"

I wiped my eyes, indeed they were wet. "I guess I just feel sorry for him, that's all."

He pulled a face. "You pity an Akatsuki member?"

"I'll have you know he wasn't always a blood-thirsty villain, he used to be my senpai."

Kankuro dropped his chopsticks out of surprise, his mouth hanging open. "You mean, you used to know him?"

"Yep, lived with him too," I couldn't help adding in. It was fun to freak him out. "For six years."

He knew it and was no longer rising to the bait. He leaned forward, resting his head on his hands like a child eager for a tale. "So your mysterious past emerges at long last. Tell me this, why did you live with him? That is most unusual."

I wasn't ready to tell him about my family yet. "I was homeless, it couldn't be helped. He was an excellent teacher and a great guy. I have no idea why he joined Akatsuki and became the brute he is now."

"If you knew him so well then you might be able to solve a little mystery. Rumor has it he married one of his students. Do you know which one it was?"

That surprised me. "He married? I didn't know that. I must have left his apprenticeship before then."

"Or maybe he ate her," he teased. "You know how sharks are."

I bared my shark teeth at him. "Learn from his poor wife and get out while you still can!"

We both had a good laugh. Once dinner was over, I stood up to clear the table. "Thanks again for dinner Kankuro, but you really shouldn't trouble yourself with me. Your family has done too much for me already."

"I'm hardly acting out of charity," he sniffed. "I could never settle for someone out of pity."

I filled up the sink with soapy water and starting scrubbing plates. "You're an incredible guy, Kankuro. Being the Kazekage's brother sure makes you more popular, not to mention your excellent puppet abilities. And with cooking like this, you could easily win any girl you want."

He slipped his arms around my waist and held me close. "Except the girl I want."

A shiver ran up my spine. This was the most forward he had been since that night. I really should have put him in his place right then and there, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to pull away. I leaned against him, listening to his steady heartbeat. "Isn't that always the way of it," I mused. "We want what we can't have."

"What do you want?" He said near my ear.

"Some completeness," I confessed. "I've always felt like there is something missing. Something important that is just on the edge of my mind. I…I wish I knew what it was."

He carefully spun me round to face him, his arms still around me. "I used to feel that way, until I met you. You are one of a kind Ritsuko."

I looked into his tender face for a long time. Could that be it? Did I need love in my life? I had always tried to refrain from getting close to anyone. I had a hard time trusting anyone, but somehow Kankuro slipped through my defenses. And I did really care about him. So why? Why did I hesitate now?

He gently rested his forehead against mine. "I love you so much Ritsuko. And you're worth waiting for."

"It could be a while," I teased him. "A girl doesn't like to be caught."

He shook his head. "I'm not trying to catch you."

That surprised me. "Then…what is it that you want?"

His tone dropped to a whisper. "To set you free."

I held my breath. "Of what?"

"For all your bravado and bite, there is a part of your heart that is locked away. Why do you feel the need to hide? You're amazing just the way you are."

That touched me like no other thing he ever said. To be so wholly accepted by another who could love your weaknesses as well as your strengths was a liberating thought. I cradled his face in my hands and pulled him in for a long kiss.

"So does that mean we're engaged?" He asked impishly.

I laughed and gently pushed him away. "That's still a bit ambitious, but you're getting closer."

He grinned from ear to ear. "I'll take what I can get."


	2. Chapter 2: The Devil Returns

"I'm not sure what you what did to my brother last night," Temari-san said when I reported for work the next morning. "But he was grinning like a fool when he came home."

I glared my fiercest, but I couldn't help blushing.

"You're even cuter when you're angry," Kankuro came up from behind me and planted a quick kiss on my cheek. I swatted him away and he pretended to look pained. "Aw, back to square one already? Rats." He snapped his fingers.

"Don't any of you take your work seriously?" I asked in exasperation. "We are in the middle of a war here with psychotic Father Time and yet you can laugh and joke around?"

Kankuro put me in a head lock and ruffled my hair. "All the more reason to! Why do you have to be so grim about it? We still have a bright future ahead and we're fighting to protect that. A future that includes you, me, and some kids…"

"Kankuro a father or Madara winning?" Temari-san pretended to imagine it. "I can't tell which future would be scarier."

Kankuro scowled. "I wouldn't be that bad!"

I broke free and charged ahead. "Enough of this, we're late as it is!"

Despite how annoyed I currently was, I was worried about losing them both. All three of them had really taken me into their family and I wasn't sure how I could handle it if anything were to happen to them. Gaara-sama was already out leading part of the allied forces. As it was, Temari-san and Kankuro had already seen action. They only came back to see how the new recruits were coming along. I had overseen one squadron and would continue to lead them when we went to battle. Temari-san and Kankuro were here to see if we were fit to see action.

While I didn't want to fail, in a small way I did. I didn't want to admit it, but I was scared to fight in battle. And against Akatsuki? I shivered involuntarily. Rumor had it that the enemy had resurrected the dead and was using them as part of psychological warfare. Was such a thing possible? Surely not. But if it was…would that mean that I would have to face Hoshigaki-senpai? I doubt he would recognize me anyway. I had come a long way since my gangly childhood. I looked a lot like my mother, with long amethyst hair pulled back into intricate but practical loops. But no matter how tightly I pulled it back, a few strands always came loose and fell about my face. I quickly dismissed my worry. Why should I think about senpai anyway? I haven't seen him in years.

My troops didn't fail me and passed inspection. We were ordered to move out the next day and dismissed to get ready. I had already packed so I wandered around Sunagakure, partly to get some peace, but also to avoid Kankuro. I couldn't have him distracting me and I needed to think clearly. I hated to admit it, but he was right. I was thinking too negatively. If I didn't have faith that we would win, I would be failing the troops. They looked up to me to protect them and lead them with success. I couldn't let them down, but I still couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that the worst was yet to come. Then there was also this small matter of how I felt about Kankuro. I didn't need that kind of distraction right now. I would deal with it after the war. I was surprised when he didn't come to see me that night, and strangely I missed him. I wrapped my arms around myself, remembering his words. _I want to set you free._ If only he could, I mused.

He came to see me in the morning, gathering me in his arms as soon I stepped out of the door and spun me around. "Good morning! I hope you don't mind me coming so early, there was a change of plans and wanted to tell you myself before Temari bores you with unnecessary details."

Impulsively I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on tight. He stiffened with surprise. "Ritsuko…are you ok?"

I trembled slightly. How could I tell him? How could I tell him how scared I was? How I didn't want me or him to leave? How I wished we could carry on like we always had before this terrible war. I just couldn't bring myself to say a word. I didn't want him to think I was weak…but I was.

He hugged me even harder. "I know. I'm scared too."

I pulled back with a start. How could he tell what I was thinking?

He brushed my hair aside so he could look into my eyes more clearly. "You won't be alone. I'll be there with you, every step of the way."

It was then that I realized how I was still in his arms and with my own around his neck. This was fair too intimidate in public. Blushing, I climbed down and smoothed out my clothes. "What are you talking about? A General knows no fear."

He looked a little sad, almost as if he was thinking; _There she goes again building up her personal defenses._ As we went to rejoin the others he filled me in with the changes and we didn't speak again once we all set out to the battlefield. We must have been on the outskirts because we didn't meet a single person, friend or foe the whole journey. It would be a few days before we reached the main force so we camped for the night on a mountain top. It was strangely nice to get away from all that sand and be back in the woods again.

Once everyone had turned in for the night, I wandered off on my own a ways. I sat over looking the cliff, lost in my thoughts. The brisk evening wind chilled my arms. To my surprise, a blanket was placed about my shoulders. I turned to see Kankuro standing behind me. He gave me a tender smile and gently squeezed my shoulders. "Are you feeling alright General Ritsuko?"

"You're flirting with insubordination," I growled. "You should be back with the troops."

"And so should you," he pointed out, taking a seat beside me. "So we're both breaking the rules." He looked worried. "Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm not sure I can do this," I frankly admitted. "I'm not strong enough to lead an army. I don't know the first thing about war. Especially one that will determine the fate of this world."

"You're plenty qualified to lead," he assured me, resting a hand on mine and squeezing it. "And we're all here to back you up."

I laughed half-heartedly. "Until I make some bumbling mistake that wipes out half the troops."

He smiled tenderly. "I'd still be there for you, and one is better than none."

In spite of myself, I blushed. "Thank you Kankuro."

He leaned in to gently kiss my cheek. "Everything will be alright, so don't worry about it. I'll see you later ok?"

I nodded. "I won't be much longer. I just want to enjoy the view."

He left and I lay back on the grass looking up at the stars. I let his comforting words wash over me, and quieting my own fear and doubts. Once I felt better, I stood up and went back through the forest to retire for the night.

"Ah Ritsuko the Loner," a deep voice purred in the darkness. "You're still as lovely as ever."

That voice. Something about it struck such great fear in me that I couldn't move. A strong pair of arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. It took my breath away; like I had been suddenly drenched in icy cold water.

"Have you missed me?" The voice chuckled cruelly. I struggled and strained against his grip. "Ah that's right, you don't remember me do you?"

"Who are you?" I asked, though I wasn't sure I really wanted to know.

He lifted one hand to turn my chin so I could look over my shoulder and into his face. He wore a strange spiraled mask. I recognized it from the picture at the de-briefing and I sucked in my breath. It was Madara! But, but what was he doing here? And more importantly, what did he want with me? He lowered his grip on my chin to rest it on my neck. "It's a shame that you don't remember," he lamented. "We used to have such lovely times together."

"And what times were those?" I blurted out. Had he completely lost his mind?

His hand tightened around my neck, not enough to cut off air supply, but as a warning that he could at any moment. "Itachi may have erased your memory but that does not change the fact that you are still a part of Akatsuki," he snarled in my ear. "And when the time comes, you _will_ do your part. You are my little trump card after all."

He was scaring me so badly that I started to wheeze. Why did he have this effect on me? To make me feel so utterly weak and helpless?

He chuckled again, clearly enjoying the effect he had over me. His grip on my waist lowered slightly. "Though I think you will enjoy this assignment best of all."

That definitely crossed the line. I tried harder to push him away, but it was no use. He continued on, whispering in my ear. "You've always had such spirit. I can see why he never got over you. I'd love to have you all to myself as well if I wasn't so busy."

A severe chill ran down my spine and my knees trembled. He let go and I fell to my hands and knees. When I whirled around to confront him, he had disappeared.

His voice still lingered in the darkness. "Welcome back to the team, my dear."


	3. Chapter 3: Near Miss

I don't know what was stranger, the fact that I had somehow been an Akatsuki member or that I wasn't able to tell anyone about it. When I tried to tell Temari-san about it, it felt like I was being choked. She just thumped me on the back, figuring I was really choking. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to risk the safety of my troops but I wasn't sure how I could abandon them either. I was going to have to continue on. Kankuro kept trying to rally my spirits, but I felt like I was doomed. I just hoped that I wouldn't take anyone else down with me.

Once we joined the main force and received our new assignments, I had to push all thoughts of Madara aside and focus. It turned out that the rumors were true; the dead were among the ranks and most of them were the strongest kages and villains history has ever known. Hoshigaki-senpai sprang to my mind immediately. It was a very real possibility now that we might meet.

Thankfully the first few battles we fought were with people no one knew. I wasn't sure how I could ask any of my troops to kill those they did. It was un-nerving how most of our opponents wanted to be defeated. They would explain their weaknesses, just wanting to be sealed so they could pass on. It nearly broke my heart. They didn't want to fight us anymore than they did. Akatsuki's cruelty knew no bounds.

I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. The mental stress was beginning to get to me, causing me to have such terrible nightmares. One night as I thrashed around in my bed during another nightmare, I felt a strong pair of arms pull me close. Thinking it was Madara again, I totally lost it. A hand clamped around my mouth, muffling my scream and a voice shushed me. "It's ok Ritsuko. It's going to be all right."

I knew that voice. What was he doing here?"

I looked over my shoulder to see Kankuro cuddling close. He lowered his hand. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I heard you," he whispered. "And I thought you could use some comfort. You've been awfully withdrawn lately. Please let me help you. We're comrades remember?"

Ordinarily I would have killed him for having the audacity to sneak into my bed, but for some reason it was strangely comforting. I snuggled against him and took slow steadying breaths until I matched his soft even breathing. "Kankuro, I don't think I can take this any longer. I want to go home."

He gently kissed my forehead. "We're going to win Ritsuko, don't give up hope."

"How can you be so optimistic?"

"Because I know what I'm fighting for, our future together." he smiled. "You have made me stronger. So they can throw whatever they want at me and I will take each and every hit." He tucked my hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek. "As long as I know you'll be there, I'm invincible."

"That's some pretty bold talk for a guy who doesn't have a girlfriend yet," I said dryly.

He laughed. "True, but who are we kidding Ritsuko? We're as good as engaged, so why not make it official?"

"What, no fancy dinner or cleverly hidden ring?" I teased. "What kind of proposal is this?"

"The real deal," he said as he brushed his lips against mine. "And I'll just keep asking anyway so why not save us both the trouble and just say yes already?"

Before I could say anything, a cry sounded out from the distance. "Enemy approaching!"

I sprang from the bed, hurriedly put on my sandals and grabbed Chikara. Kankuro had his puppet scrolls strapped to his back. He grabbed my hand and we ran out together towards the sentry.

"What news?" Kankuro demanded.

"Its one of the old members, sir," a shinobi said. "Kisame Hoshigaki, but he isn't armed with Samehada this time."

"That doesn't make him less dangerous," I warned. "Expect a tough battle."

Up ahead we could see him coming. He was charging towards us. Strangely he wasn't engaging anyone, just deflecting attacks as he raced on. It was clear he was on his way somewhere and just figured it was easier to cut through us than around us. Then he made eye contact and I took a step back. His hungry eyes were fixed on me and he wore a ghastly grin like a predator sizing up his next meal. My breath caught in my throat. He was worse than I imagined, a true monster. What…what happened to him? I could barely recognize him, for he had lost his humanity.

Kankuro's grip on my hand tightened and he nearly pulled me off of my feet as he turned to run. I nearly fell on my face and hurried to keep pace with him. "What are you doing? We can't abandon everyone!"

"He shouldn't bother anyone else," he said grimly.

"But how do you know that?" I insisted.

He frowned. "Because he's after you. I can see it in his eyes."

I looked over my shoulder. Kankuro may be on to something; Hoshigaki-senpai abruptly changed direction and was on our trail. I kept pace with Kankuro, ducking under branches, hurtling over small shrubbery, and weaving around trees.

"Why don't we stand and fight?" I huffed. "Surely together we could-"

"It's too risky, we need better reinforcement," he insisted. "He isn't called the Tailed Beast without a Tail for nothing."

"I think we're going to have to come up with something," I said looking over my shoulder. "He's getting closer!"

"Its ok, we're nearly there," he said, setting off a flare. Within seconds the ground dropped out from underneath us and we fell into darkness. I grabbed a hold of Kankuro and he broke my fall. Thankfully we landed in soft sand….what a minute…sand? Out here in the forest? I stood up and looked around us. We were surrounded on all sides by sand.

Kankuro heaved a huge sigh of relief and shook sand from his hair. "Wow, was that ever a close one! We'll be safe now, Gaara can handle him."

"Is this Gaara-sama's Sand Shield?" I asked, marveling. I had never seen what it looked like on the inside.

"Yes, and he'll let us out when it's safe," he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "Are you alright?"

"I…I think so, but I don't get it." I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. I started to tremble. "Why would he come after me? I haven't seen him since I was 16. Why would he come to see me now?"

"It doesn't matter," Kankuro hugged me back. "Because he's never going to get his hands on you."

"You don't think I can take care of myself?" I meant to tease, but my voice cracked, showing how scared I really was.

"You don't have to strong all the time," he whispered in my ear. "It's ok to be scared sometimes."

"I…I just don't want to be weak."

He gave me a long kiss, one that made my knees feel weak. "You're not weak, but you are human."

The sand walls started to dissolve and Gaara-sama stood before us with his arms folded across his chest. It looked like he relocated us from the woods to his quarters. He narrowed his eyes at me. "You have a lot of explaining to do Ritsuko-san."


	4. Chapter 4: Stolen Kiss

Gaara-sama waited until I was seated and a cup of tea was handed to me. I'm sure he meant to calm me down but it was hard to not feel nervous. Kankuro was dismissed. He was clearly upset about it, but he never questioned Gaara-sama. He pulled up a chair beside me and wore a genuine smile. "I'm glad that you're both alright. I know you must be exhausted, but I need to ask you some questions first. Please answer as truthfully as you can."

I nodded.

"There is no doubt that Hoshigaki-san was after you. But why would he target you and you alone? Do you know him? I believe you both came from the same village?"

"He used to be my senpai," I confessed. "But I left the apprenticeship before he joined Akatsuki. I'm sorry I didn't mention it before; I wasn't trying to be dishonest. I just didn't see why I needed to tell you."

He nodded. "I understand how it would seem trivial, but now this information might be important. Has anything else happened that I should know about?"

I thought back to my encounter with Madara and nodded. "Only I can't talk about it."

He lifted an eyebrow in surprise. "And why not?"

"I would if I could," I admitted. "But every time I've tried…I'm prevented from doing so."

Gaara-sama gestured for someone over his shoulder. A tall and gruff looking shinobi stepped from the shadows. "This is Inoichi Yamanaka-san. He is one of the chief interrogators in Konoha."

He grasped my hand and gave it a firm shake. He had such a warm smile. "Ritsuko, it's a pleasure."

I could only nod in recognition. I was too nervous trying to figure out why he was here right now.

"There's no need to fear," he assured me. "The Kazakage felt that perhaps my services were needed to see if you may be some repressed memories. It won't hurt at all, may I?"

I wasn't sure I had much of a choice, so I nodded. He rested a hand on my forehead and closed his eyes. Everything went black. When I came to, I was laying down in a bed. Kankuro was sitting by my side. "How are you feeling?"

I sat up. "What happened? Did they find out anything?"

He looked uneasy, as if he wasn't sure what he could share. "Only a little. It turns out that two years of your memory were removed for some reason. Also he turned up a memory of Madara saying you used to be a member of Akatsuki. Is that true?"

"I don't know Kankuro. That was the first time I ever heard about it."

He nodded. "Gaara-sama agrees with Yamanaka-san that this requires further investigation into what happened in that two year span. He wants you to go to Konoha so he can use a special machine that specializes in erased memories. Even if he can't uncover the memory, he should at least be able to discover why they were erased in the first place. Are you willing to do that? You'll be discreetly escorted there and I'll be right by your side."

I nodded and hung my head, feeling tears well up in my eyes. He squeezed my hand. "What's wrong now?"

"You don't have to pretend like doesn't bother you," I said fiercely. "But you have to believe me; I have nothing to do with Akatsuki now!"

He moved to sit on the bed and hugged me close. "I know that you blockhead. You can't help something you can't remember. This doesn't change how Gaara and I feel about you. We know we can trust you. It's going to be alright."

I hugged him back in relief. I couldn't believe my luck; anyone else would have branded me a traitor and left me to whatever danger was out there. He gently pushed me back against the pillows, stood up and tucked the blankets up under my chin. "Just try to rest now ok? We'll head out tonight after nightfall."

The three of us disguised as ordinary Konoha shinobi and flanked by others moved out just as the sun fell. We didn't talk very much, trying to melt in the shadows as much as possible. I was a little nervous about what this machine would be like. Yamanaka-san seemed friendly enough, but I have heard about Konoha's interrogation methods. They were torture of the acutest kind. I hoped it wouldn't be too terrible. But with it now known that I had some kind of tie to Akatsuki, I shouldn't expect any mercy to be shown. I would be treated like an enemy.

Yamanaka-san glanced over his shoulder at me. "I won't worry too much Ritsuko. I know that you don't mean any harm. Gaara-sama was adamant in his praise of your loyalty to the Land of Sand."

I let out a breath I wasn't aware that I was holding. Perhaps things really would be ok after all. Once the sun was coming up, we withdrew into the underbrush to build some shelters so we could rest. Kankuro took the first watch, sitting right next to me and I rested my head on his lap. He tenderly played with my hair as I fell asleep.

The trip went uneventfully and soon we were only two days away from Konoha. As we were resting for the night, I found Kankuro by a large tree. He sat against the trunk and beckoned me closer. He pulled me close and rested his chin on my shoulder. "I won't leave you alone during the procedure, you know that right?"

I didn't and words couldn't express how grateful I felt.

"I just want you know that no matter what your memories turn out to be, I'll still love you. No matter what."

"That's a little foolish," I teased. "Why don't you wait and see what they are first before you start spouting romantic nonsense."

He didn't laugh. "If love isn't true, then it isn't true love, now is it?"

A chill breeze blew through the area. It was definitely autumn, soon to be winter. I wasn't used to such cold weather. It was always so warm in Sunagakure. Kankuro shrugged off his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders. "You don't have to do that," I protested.

"Just let me do something for you for once without complaint." He groaned.

I started to reply when he placed a finger on my lips. He looked about us with narrowed eyes. "Something is wrong here," he whispered. "It's too quiet."

He was right. The others had been building new shelters, they shouldn't be done by now. They would have called us for dinner if they had. I helped him up and we cautiously approached the camp. Just before we stepped through into the clearing I stifled a gasp and took a step back. Kankuro had a tight grip on my upper arm to keep me from moving again. The other guards were sprawled on the ground unconscious and Yamanaka-san was trapped in a water prison; Hoshigaki-senpai leering over him with a sadistic grin as he struggled to breathe.

I couldn't breathe I was so scared. I had never seen him this blood-thirsty. Sure he used to enjoy a good fight, but nothing this vindictive. I realized with a sinking heart that he was no longer the senpai I used to know.

"It's probably a water clone," Kankuro whispered. "He's got to be around here somewhere. We've got to get out of here before he finds us."

"What about the others? We can't just-"

He pulled me closer to hiss in my ear. "He is after you, don't forget that. Now let's move!"

We turned and raced back into the forest, picking up speed and barely touching the ground. We heard a growl of triumph above us as a large figure dropped down from the tree above us. Kankuro pushed me and jumped before he could land on us. I fell flat on my face and Kankuro skidded some distance from me. Hoshigaki-senpai was between us and he laughed as he turned towards me. "You are a sight for sore eyes, Suko."

I flinched as he used my old nickname. I scrambled backwards while he steadily approached me with open arms. "Now everything will be as it should be."

He halted for a moment and jerked his arms and legs. Kankuro had thrown chakra threads on them and attempted to pull him back. "Run Ritsuko! I'll hold him off!"

Hoshigaki-senpai deftly broke through the threads and rounded on him with a smirk. "You're going to need to do better than that."

Kankuro's hand went to his back for one of his puppet scrolls but something glistened in the darkness behind him. "Look out!" I cried.

Too late, a blue hand grabbed a hold of Kankuro and he was trapped by the water prison jutsu as well. Hoshigaki-senpai smirked and turned back towards me, leaving his clone to deal with Kankuro. Now it was my turn to fight back. I was just unlatching Chikara but he moved too quickly for me and I was soon pinned to the ground. I squirmed under his tight grip.

"Finally, after all these years," he purred. "We meet again."

"You just wanted to get together for sentimental reasons?" I threw back. "What kind of fool do you take me for?"

He threw back his head and laughed. "You haven't lost your spirit! This is going to be a lot of fun…"

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the worst. But he did the last thing in the world that I ever would have expected. He kissed me.


	5. Chapter 5: Not Quite Happily Ever After

The nerve of him! What a complete jerk! I tried to kick him off but he was too heavy. I was stuck with it for now. I could just imagine how furious Kankuro would be, watching helplessly and unable to stop him. But then…something strange happened. At first I thought it must be some kind of dirty Akatsuki trick, but the longer he kissed me the more thoughts that started to wash over me. Memories of a gentler senpai holding me in his arms, of marriage, that short year of bliss we had, but also bittersweet memories of our last battle as well as our last goodbye. My heart swelled in my chest. He had come back for me after all, just as I had always hoped he would. But, what about my life now? What would this mean for me and Kankuro?

I think he must have slipped me something because suddenly my limbs felt too heavy to move. He pulled back and my head rolled to the side, my eye lids beginning to close. "Forgive me Suko," he murmured. "We can't afford anymore delays."

Just as he was picking me up, I went unconscious.

When I woke up, I was in bed with someone's arms wrapped around me. Kankuro? Could it all have just been a terrible dream? I looked over my shoulder and sucked in my breath. It was Kisame. He was still asleep and snoring softly. I didn't move quite yet, trying to make sense out of all of this. We were back in our old bedroom, like nothing had ever changed. But…but how? Weren't we in the middle of a war? Or was that all a dream too? My head still felt really fuzzy. The harder I tried to make sense of it, the more my head ached. I could feel my thoughts of Kankuro slipping from my memory until I wasn't sure he existed anymore. All that lingered was a faint feeling that something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Kisame stirred and gently kissed my neck. "Good morning Suko."

My neck was bare? I ran a hand through my hair. It was short and spiky again. But how? Didn't it used to long before…ugh my head was pounding now. I pressed a hand against my forehead.

"Are you still not feeling well?" He asked, with concern. "How about I make you some tea?"

"Thanks, I think I could really use it."

He left the room and I laid on my back staring up into the ceiling. Trying to make sense out of things was just making my head hurt more, so I gave up trying to. When I crawled out of bed, I sat at my vanity table and looked at my reflection with a start. I looked…well…younger. More like eighteen. And I still had that large bandage around my side from my accident in Konoha, it stung when I poked at it. What was going on around here? I had to leave off thinking again, a sharp pain exploded in my head.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," Kisame said as he brought me a cup of tea. "I'm sure you're still a little disoriented."

"Just a little," I said with a sigh. "I feel terrible."

"You're lucky the doctor discovered the infection when he did. Another day or two and it would have been beyond his skill to heal."

"Infection?" I frowned up at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Your little scratch remember?" He teased slightly as he went about the room gathering up our clothes for the day. "It got badly infected and for a while you were delirious. So it makes sense that you would still feel a little disoriented."

"That's an understatement," I murmured. So did that explain why I had thought…wait a minute…I couldn't finish that thought. It was beyond my memory, but a lingering nag of doubt settled in the pit of my stomach.

"I have to go to work now," he said, ruffling my hair. "Just remember to take your medicine and you'll make a speedy recovery."

I nodded, feeling tired again. "I…I think I'm going to lie down again."

"Drink your medicine first," he insisted.

I did as he instructed, its light frothy taste hinted of strawberries. Already my head was beginning to feel better. He tucked me in and kissed my forehead. "Don't worry. Things will get back to normal, you'll see."

Under his watchful care I soon made a swift recovery. I wasn't considered strong enough to go back to work for the Mizukage. Kisame didn't have any lengthy missions for a while and we passed many pleasant nights together laughing, talking, and snuggling. Occasionally I would dream about a boy with spiky brown hair with purple paint on his face, and my heart would ache for some reason. Whenever I tried to think about it, trying to make sense of the dream, I would get another killer headache.

A few months later I was feeling pretty faint most of the time as well as nauseous. It was soon discovered that I was pregnant. When I told Kisame, he swung me around and laughed. "How far along are you? Are you feeling ok? I'm gonna be a dad!"

I laughed too and kissed him. "I'm 2 months along, you're making me a little dizzy and you'll be the best dad ever."

He quickly put me back down. "I can't believe this! We're going to be parents! I hope he looks like me."

"What makes you think it'll be a boy?" I teased. "I want to have a girl first."

He gave me a kiss. "As long as it's healthy, I don't care what it is."

He started making special drinks for me every morning. I could barely keep them down; my nausea was getting worse as the pregnancy wore on. Strange things started happening, I think my eyes were starting to play tricks on me. Sometimes when I looked into the mirror I thought I saw an older version of myself with longer hair. And sometimes I could see a different ring on Kisame's left ring finger than his wedding band. And the dreams of the boy were coming more frequently and a name kept popping in my mind: Kankuro. Was that his name?

One day when I felt at my worst, Kisame insisted that he wanted to go on a trip to the hot springs. I would have much rather seen a doctor instead. I was seven months along at the time and I wanted to be sure nothing had gone wrong with the baby. He insisted I would feel better once we got there and I didn't feel like arguing anymore. We hitched a ride out of town in a farmer's wagon. He helped me lay down in the cart and kept me comfortable with pillows and blankets. Soon the gentle sway of the wagon helped me drift off to sleep. Just as I was waking up, I heard Kisame talking to the farmer who had a familiar deep voice. The kind that sends shivers down your spine.

"Are you sure she never suspected a thing?" He asked suspiciously. "Even she must have noticed something."

"Not a thing," Kisame assured him. "She drank everything I gave her. But…" he hesitated for a moment. "Are you really sure that we needed to trick her like this?"

"It was the only way," the farmer said firmly. "She wasn't cooperating before remember? Don't worry Kisame, when I rule the world, you'll be able to pick up with her right where you left off, just like I promised. I always reward those who faithfully serve me."

"And the child?" He queried softly.

"I suspect something is wrong too," the stranger agreed. "It's too early, so we have to accelerate our plans. I can't let it die, its essential to my plan. It could be the hypnotizing drug that is adversely affecting the baby. I'm afraid that we're going to have to cut her off of it so prepare for the worst."

A shiver ran up my spine. What was going on? My head ached slightly, but I was able to think past it. What were they talking about? Kisame had been drugging me? Why? And what did they have planned for the baby? I was beginning to get the feeling that I was missing out on something important. I pushed past the pain, thinking harder.

It was then that I noticed there was someone else in the cart with me. Itachi gazed intently into my eyes, hands raised in a hand sign. I jolted with a start, my mind feeling clearer than it had in months. I now remembered everything, my resistance to Madara's new order, my fight with Kisame who begged me to cooperate for his sake, and my heartbreak knowing that he was now loyal to Akatsuki, even at my expense. I felt tears well up in my eyes and my shoulders trembled. Itachi rested a hand on them and silently nodded, as if trying to reassure me that I was going to be ok. I started to calm down. I knew I could trust him implicitly.

Kisame and the "farmer" must have realized something was wrong because the cart came to a screeching halt. Itachi grabbed me and pushed off from the cart, landing some distance from it.

Kisame turned pale when he saw Itachi, but his companion was not too surprised. "So you've managed to free yourself from the Impure World Resurrection Jutsu." Madara growled. "Can't say I'm surprised, you were always difficult to control. However this time you are in over your head. Turn the girl over now."

"Hold still," Itachi whispered to me before letting go.

I was about to ask why when I felt myself being yanked backward and was suddenly enclosed in a small wooden sphere. I recognized it as Black Ant, Kankuro's puppet. It was moving a little too quickly for my comfort. I rested a hand on my queasy stomach. _That's right, I'm still pregnant,_ I thought with a start. So that wasn't part of the illusion. _Kankuro is going to kill me_. _First Kisame and then me._

I gasped as a sharp pain ripped through my side. I thought back to what my mother had once said, about how I had paid the price for her stubborn pride. I couldn't help but wonder if my daughter would have to pay a price for my involvement in Akatsuki. I couldn't doom her to that fate, not if I could help it. Black Ant was starting to slow down, but the pain was now strong enough that I fell to my knees. When the puppet came to a stop, a strong pair of hands pulled me out. Kankuro cradled me to his chest and hurried towards a group of waiting people. He was muttering murderous threats against Kisame under his breath in between planting kisses on my forehead.

I was too focused on my pain to notice much else. I dimly recognized Sakura Haruno and Konoha's Hokage waiting for us in a make-shift hospital. I was carefully laid on a soft bed. "We have to hurry," Lady Hokage said grimly. "We haven't much time, it's already begun."

Sakura tried to gently lead Kankuro away. He shook her off. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Its ok Sakura," the Hokage assured her. "She'll need someone she knows to help her."

A seat was found for him and he sat down and squeezed my hand. "It's going to be ok Ritsuko. Tsunade-sama is one of the top medical nin in her field. Everything is going to be ok."

He would have been more convincing if he hadn't sounded so hysterical. Sakura squeezed his shoulder tightly. "If you can't calm down, you won't be able to calm her down either."

"You're right, you're right," he sighed and took some deep breaths. When he opened his eyes, he was focused entirely on me. It was then that I noticed that he wasn't wearing any face paint. I reached out to touch his face. "You look even more handsome without it," I whispered.

"This isn't good," Tsunade-sama said grimly. "We're going to need to put her under and operate."

A mask was placed over my nose and mouth and I panicked. Kankuro squeezed my hand. "Relax Ritsuko. I'm here. I'm here."

I fell asleep to the comforting sound of his voice and the gentle assurance that he would be there when I woke up.


	6. Chapter 6: Katsuye

As I was regaining consciousness, I felt gentle pressure on both of my hands. "Kankuro?" I mumbled.

He gave one of my hands a squeeze. "I'm still here Ritsuko." I opened my eyes to see him in the middle of a giant yawn. There were bags under his weary eyes. How long had he been sitting there?

I felt my other hand being squeezed in turn. I turned to see Itachi sitting there with a small smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Worse than death," I groaned.

He chuckled. "You know nothing about death."

"I guess not." I said with a wry smile. As we locked eyes, we both looked a little sad. I had so many questions to ask him. But not ones I wanted to ask in front of Kankuro. Itachi caught my meaning and looked up at Kankuro. "Why don't you rest for a while?"

Kankuro stood up and stretched. "Alright, but the minute she asks for me-"

"I'll send you word." He assured him.

Once he left, Itachi looked back at me with miserable eyes. "I failed you Ritsuko. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise to you, I really tried."

"What happened to him?" My voice trembled. "He was never like this."

"The power boost of the cursed rings added to his own and went straight to his head. He got cocky and arrogant. I did my best to keep him in line, keep him from fighting unnecessarily." His eyes lowered. "And even worse, Madara managed to take advantage of his feelings for you and manipulate them for his own purposes. All of his hope now rests on Madara's plan, the one chance to start over."

I thought back to the last night before I was drugged. I had been tied up in a dark room for longer than I could remember with one feeble candle that had burned out long ago. It was an attempt to break my spirit. If that had happened a few years ago, I think it would have. But I had a new source of motivation and I wasn't going to cave in. The lock on the door shifted and the door swung open, flooding the room with blinding light. Kisame entered and I stared at his feet, determined to ignore him.

"How did it come to this?" He asked softly, standing just a few feet away from me. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be."

"I'm not going through with it," I said through gritted teeth. "Its sick and you know it."

"But haven't you always wanted to have a family with me?" He pressed. "That is why you wanted me to activate your memory, wasn't it?"

I sighed and hung my head. "I did want that once. But not anymore." I glared up at him. "And even if I did, I wouldn't do it this way! I've given Madara enough; he's not taking a child of mine too!"

He stared down at me with a vacant gaze. I wasn't sure what to make of it. He knelt down and reached out for me. I pushed myself backward as best I could with my legs. He didn't do anything for some time.

"I know I've changed a lot, and probably not for the better," he admitted frankly. He was looking down at his hands. "But I'm doing this so we can be together again. Just think, there would be no more war, no more pain or sadness. It'll be the two of us again and nothing will ever separate us. We could have it all again."

He looked up at me and for a moment, I saw a glimpse of the old Kisame I used to love. "I've missed you so much and there was never a day that went by that I didn't think about you." He drew closer and I didn't move away this time. He ran his hand through my long hair and kissed the ends. "You've become so breathtakingly beautiful, better than I ever imagined."

My heart went out to him. "What we had was wonderful," I confessed. "But whatever future we were supposed to have, it was supposed to be far away from Akatsuki, not to further its work. I can't do this Kisame. I can't believe that you want to."

"I get to be with you again, why wouldn't I want that?" He gently countered.

"But to involve an innocent baby? Surely you wouldn't-"

His tenderness slipped into a steely gaze. "I would do anything Madara asks of me."

I knew that I had lost him now. I narrowed my eyes back. "But I don't."

He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me closer, just inches from his face. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" He growled. "Don't you see? This is just one step towards our goal."

"_Your_ goal," I corrected, I struggled but my hands were tied behind my back. I'm surprised I could still feel them, the bonds were too tight. "And I won't be a part of it! So if its cooperation or death…" I flashed him my deadliest gaze. "Then just kill me now."

He was taken aback for a moment. Then a wicked grin crept across his face. "It would never have come to that. There is another option."

Before I could ask what he meant, he leaned forward and kissed me. I was powerless to stop him. His kiss was passionate, but there was no love in it. He was just thinking of himself. I couldn't help but think of Kankuro. I bet he would love to kiss me like this, but always held back for my sake. He respected, not abused, my boundaries.

Suddenly, my arms felt too heavy to struggle any longer and my head felt fuzzy. He was knocking me out again just like before. But what was he planning to do next? My head fell back as he pulled me close to his chest. The last thing I heard him say was, "Nothing is going to get in the way of our future…not even you."

"Ritsuko? Are you ok?"

I was startled from the memory by Itachi's gentle pressure on my hand. "You need to rest again?"

I shook my head. "No, I've had enough for now. I just want some answers. Why did Madara need me to be pregnant, and why through such a charade?"

"It's hard to know for sure," Itachi said hesitantly. "He never divulged his plans to me and I'm not sure even Kisame would know. But I am sure he needed it to be done naturally. People like Oorchimaru who test and experiment can have great success, but it takes a lot of time working through the mistakes. Madara is running out of time, that's why he's come out of the shadows after so long. My guess is that he wanted someone who has your chakra sensor ability and Kisame's strength. It is hard to find those two qualities in one person. It could be what he intended to do all along. But he probably thought that you'd go along with it too."

"Not figuring that my feelings may have changed," I mused aloud.

"I wouldn't have thought so either," Itachi confessed. "But even the most broken heart can be healed in time." He looked back at the door. "He seems like a good man."

I blushed. He must be referring to Kankuro. "Yes, he is. But it's no use now."

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"He'll want nothing to do with an estranged wife who was just tricked into carrying a baby…" My voice trailed off for a moment. My hand went to my stomach. It felt soft and squishy. I panicked and tried to get up. "What happened to the baby?"

Itachi firmly pushed me back and held me down. "Move that quickly again and you'll rip your stitches! The baby is fine. She's with Temari-san and Gaara-sama right now."

"So it's a girl after all?"

Itachi let go and smiled warmly. "Yes, and she's about the cutest baby I've ever seen."

"Would you like to see her?" Kankuro asked from the doorway. He held a swaddled bundle in his arms.

I reached out for her and he tenderly placed her in my arms. I looked into her tiny face and was swept away in complete wonder. She was gorgeous. She had my light skin and eyes, but her father's navy hair that stuck out in tuffs. Kankuro wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. Itachi discreetly left us alone, closing the door quietly behind him.

I couldn't help but remember all those times when Kisame made a big deal about my swelling stomach. He couldn't have been prouder and I had been so sure I was giving our child the best father possible. Tears welled up in my eyes and my arms trembled. Kankuro lifted his arms up to support mine. "What's wrong?"

"How could he do this to me? Take advantage of me like that? I'll kill him; I swear I'll kill him!" My voice cracked and the tears were flowing down my cheeks. "Now she'll pay the price for my stupid mistakes. That isn't fair." I turned to look at him. "And why are you still here? You can't pretend like this doesn't bother you."

Kankuro gently shushed me and wiped away my tears with the cuff of his sleeve. "If love isn't true, then it isn't true love. I'll admit that I was surprised to hear about your…intimate connection with your old senpai. But does it matter now that your feelings have changed? And as for the baby," he stroked her cheek. "I'm not juvenile enough to hate her for circumstances she didn't ask for. I just hope that you don't."

I looked down at her. "No, I don't hate her. I just feel sorry for her."

"Why?"

I sighed. "How will I possibly be able to keep her safe from Madara? She is doomed and not even a day old."

"There you go again with the negativity," he chuckled. "I'd like to think this could be a good thing. Not everyone turns out how they were intended to. Look at Gaara. He was born to be a killer, now look at him."

"You have a point there," I agreed.

"Now I don't know if you've had much time to think about names, but I think you should choose one that reflects her bright future."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why do I get the idea that you already have a name in mind?"

"Probably because I do," he grinned. "What do you think about Katsuye?"

"Blessed with victory?" I considered it as I looked down at her. She stirred slightly. Could he be right? Would it be possible to keep her out of Akatsuki's hands? Kankuro still loved me, and I was sure he would have left. Perhaps it was possible that my daughter would have a normal and peaceful life. I felt hope stirring inside me like never before. "Katsuye it is."

At this she opened her eyes and looked at me with wide brown eyes.

"See, she loves it!" Kankuro chuckled as he playfully tapped her nose.


	7. Chapter 7: Midnight Visitor

I slept fit-fully that night. I was unbelievably sore from the surgery and feeling a little loopy from the pain medication. I was super sensitive to noises and was startled awake by the sound of someone crying. I opened my eyes to see a dark figure standing by Katsuye's bassinet, cradling her in their arms. I figured that it was just one of the nurses performing another check up. She had absorbed a lot of the toxins from the drugs used to keep me under the illusion and they were gradually removing them so her body could slowly heal and not go into shock. But that still didn't explain the crying.

"You are so beautiful," a familiar voice trembled, thick with emotion. "You're just as beautiful as your mother. As much as I looked forward to meeting you, it wasn't worth the cost. I was an abusive bully. She will never forgive me and I don't deserve to be."

I sat up and squinted my eyes in an effort to see who it was more clearly. He had a tall muscular build with short spiky hair. In fact, I was certain that it was Kisame. I almost sounded the alarm, but then realized that this had to be another hallucination. Earlier in the day I had called in security because I had been convinced that Orochimaru and Pein were there. And to be explained that they had been dead for some time, like I was some stupid kid was enough embarrassment to last a lifetime. So this time I kept my mouth shut. Besides, if he were really here, he'd be the psychotic jerk he was before. This one was softly crying and holding Katsuye so tenderly. I considered turning over and trying to go back to sleep, but a part of me wanted this to be real. This could be my one chance to talk to the Kisame I secretly missed.

"Is she everything you imagined she'd look like?" I asked.

He turned and blinked in surprise at being addressed. "You're awake?"

"That's a weird question for a hallucination to ask," I laughed. "You really think that one, I'd be talking to you so calmly if I were awake and two, you'd be stupid enough to come here if you were real?"

He considered this for a moment. "Then why would you imagine me here?"

I shrugged. "Maybe it's just a secret fantasy playing out."

"Such as?"

I carefully turned and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "Part of me wishes that you did regret what you did to me. And it would be refreshing to have a frank and honest discussion with the old you. Not the psychotic and pushy one that you've become. And besides, you're part of my imagination so you should know that already."

He smiled. "I'd like that too." He turned his attention back to Katsuye. "As for your earlier question, she's even better than I imagined. What's her name?"

"Katsuye."

"What a fitting name." He gently stroked her cheek. "Though I must confess it's a shame she got the gills. She'll be forever teased about them."

"I never teased you about it," I countered. "I always thought they were sexy."

"Sexy?" He sounded amused. "That's the first time I've ever heard your opinion about them. Anything else you care to share?"

I wore a small smile. "I've really missed you."

His smile faded. "Even after what I did to you? It was unforgivable."

"I'm not talking about what your jerky real self did. I'll throttle him later," I huffed as I pushed myself up to stand. I carefully took Katsuye out of his hands and placed her back in the bassinet. I'm not sure why, but I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. "I'm talking about the old you. I used to look up to you; there was no one better or stronger. I still can't believe that we were married. It's so weird having these memories back. It…it almost feels like someone else lived them instead of me, you know?"

"I'm not sure that I do," he admitted.

"I had always felt that a part of me was missing and it looks like I was right. And yet," I paused for a moment. "It seems to have caused more problems than it solved."

"Like what?" He gently pressed.

"I had hoped that one day you'd break free from the curse like me. That you wouldn't change either but now I hate who you have become. Sure you used to have a volatile temper, but you weren't some blood-thirsty thug. And to drug me so you impregnate me is about the most despicable thing I've ever heard. I just," my voice wavered. "I never thought you'd ever sink that low. It's a flat out betrayal to everything we ever shared. There's no recovering from that. Even if my memories had remained locked away it would have been devastating. But to know now makes the pain more acute."

"It was very wrong of me," he confessed. "And very selfish. I just wanted to be with you so badly that I ignored my conscience. I should have tried harder to fight the order."

"Don't waste your time making excuses for him," I said sternly. "He still went through with it."

"So you hate me then…er…I mean him."

I giggled. "That's the sickest part of all. I should hate you. I really should, but you know what?" I looked him in the eye. "I don't."

He looked surprised. "You…don't?"

I shook my head in exasperation. "Crazy huh? I'd never admit it aloud, but I feel sorry for you. I'm sorry that you were forced into Akatsuki and that I wasn't able to save you in the end." I lowered my gaze as I thought more about it, finally allowing myself to accept my feelings. "I'm sorry that I was too weak to live with the memories. I should have been stronger. Then I wouldn't have abandoned you to your fate." I looked back up at him. "You're nothing like who you used to be. You've become the ultimate weapon, nearly unbeatable, but you've also lost the very best parts of yourself."

"And what were those?"

"You've lost your sensitivity, your tenderness and compassion. You've lost your sense of loyalty to one's country and dedication to building it up and making it a better place than ever before. And I miss your nagging too."

"I never nagged," he sounded grumpy.

"Oh yes you did," I laughed. "But it was how you showed that you cared."

"I still do," he said as he kissed the top of my head.

"No you don't, at least not for the right reasons."

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously.

"You're stuck in the past, on who I used to be. But I'm not that little girl anymore." I pulled back, my legs were shaking. I had been standing for too long. He helped me back to the bed and gently tucked me in before pulling up a chair to sit by my side. "With my memories being erased, I made different choices. Choices I probably wouldn't have made if I had remembered you. And yet," I hesitated. "I'm not entirely sure that I want to change them. I'm happy with the new life I made for myself."

I reached out for his hand and gently squeezed it. "I'm not being very fair to you though," I confessed. "It's only because of the past that I tolerate you now. So maybe I'm stuck on it too."

"It's hard not to be," he smiled. "It was a fantastic time. But it will be again when Madara wins-"

"No it won't," I said firmly. "Sure the idea of universal peace is tantalizing, but where there is no free will, there is no true happiness. I have often found that the farther I fall, the more appreciation I have for the little things I take for granted. It's during those times that I grow the most."

He looked like he was listening intently and I laughed. "Look at me, talking to a figment of my imagination, practically lecturing it too. I've become a real basket case."

He grinned. "So you're only honest when you're crazy?"

"It would appear so," I said as I settled back against the pillows.

He looked sad. "I wish you were this honest when you're conscious."

"I could never tell you these things if I was awake," I said as I rolled onto my side with my back to him.

"And why is that?" He whispered.

"I don't think you'd listen."

He was quiet for so long that I thought the hallucination was over. Then he spoke. "What would you tell the real me, if you could?"

"To let go of the past, live in the present, and embrace the future."

"That sounds like something Itachi-san would say," he mused. "Why not say it in simpler terms?"

I rolled back over so I could look at him. "I've changed. I don't want the same things that I used to. You didn't limit my decisions, and I won't limit yours. Let go of me and live for yourself."

I could tell that he didn't quite understand what I meant, but I was too tired to explain further. I closed my eyes and just before I drifted off to sleep I felt him brush the hair from my face and gently kissed my cheek. "If only it were that simple. I think we'll meet again, though sooner than you'd like." He pressed something into my hand. "But I will listen next time, I promise."

When I woke up the next morning, I thought back to that hallucination and sighed. It felt great to finally let out everything I wanted to say to him since we first met. If only it were real, then I would think there's a chance that he's worth saving. I went to rub my eyes when something fell out of my hand. It was a familiar Kirigakure shinobi headband with a slash through the center.


	8. Chapter 8: Home Free?

So he was really here last night. It wasn't a hallucination. If I hadn't been so high on those pills I would have known it was real. I blushed furiously. So he just let me bear my soul to him, what a jerk! Oh I couldn't wait to get my hands on him. Madara would have a hard time finding all the pieces when I was through!

I sounded the alarm and things moved quickly from there. It was decided that Katsuye needed to leave sooner than planned. I was given a few minutes to hold her and say good-bye while the last few details were being taken care of. I wasn't allowed to know where she was going in case Madara intercepted me.

I hugged her close, taking in her sweet baby scent. It was slightly ruined by the fact that it was intermingled with Kisame's. I kissed her cheeks. "It's going to be ok Katsuye. You're going away for a while, but we'll see each other again before you even realize I'm gone." She looked so carefree, small, and defenseless. Was it possible that she'll be safe from Madara? He was everywhere and I shuddered to think of her in his care. I didn't want her to pay the price for my mistakes. I wished that I was strong enough to protect her on my own. But I wasn't. I wasn't even strong enough to break through the illusion. What was it that I could do? I needed to let go of my pride and don't further risk her safety by taking on something I knew I couldn't.

"If we never meet again, I want you to know that I love you," I whispered. "I hope that you will remember that."

"This is not the end," Itachi said from the doorway. "You'll see."

"I'm not as optimistic as you," I confessed. "I see no hope in any of this."

"I didn't at first either," he admitted. "But after last night…"

I held my breath. "You knew he was here?"

"Yes, I did." Itachi sat on the edge of the bed and reached out for Katsuye. "May I?"

I handed her over and he cradled her against his chest. I had never seen him smile so warmly. It made me wonder what his life would have been like if he hadn't been the double agent. He would have made a great dad, I'm sure. "I kept an eye on him. I was curious about his motive. I wasn't sure if he was after you or the baby or both. When he grabbed Katsuye, I was about to step in. But it seemed that he only wanted to spend time with her. I felt he deserved that chance to meet her, I hope you understand."

I looked away. I'm sure he did deserve that much, but it wasn't something I would have willingly allowed to happen.

He continued on. "I kept watching and waiting. And then you woke up." He looked me in the eye. "It's obvious that you still care for him."

I glared at him. "You are out of line. Don't talk like this to me."

He wasn't intimidated in the slightest. "You were never good at admitting your feelings. It's a wonder you agreed to marriage in the first place. I'm not saying you should give up on Kankuro. He is a fine man, and would make you just as happy. But I do not think it wise to move forward until you let go of your feelings for Kisame first."

"Keep your opinions to yourself," I felt my temper rising. "You don't know anything."

"Whether you admit it or not it makes no difference." Katsuye grabbed his bangs and playfully tugged. Itachi chuckled as he gently pried it free. "Little Katsuye, you are bound to be a handful with two such troublesome parents. But I will protect you with what life is left to me." His shoulders sagged a bit. "It's a funny thing, second chances."

"How do you mean?"

"I now have a second chance at life, a whole new opportunity to right the wrongs I couldn't before." He fixed me with a keen gaze. "And Kisame has been granted that as well. He may have died a monster, but he has the chance to change. Keep an open mind."

I could talk to Itachi about many things, but this wasn't one of them. I had to change the subject. "Will we ever meet again Itachi?"

"I hope so, but it isn't natural for the dead to walk. I won't stay longer than is needful." He handed her back to me, and then leaned forward to kiss my cheek. I was surprised; he was never that intimate with me.

He smiled. "Let this be our final farewell, just in case. Whatever choice you make, make it with all of your heart. Second chances don't happen very often."

"You always were the eternal optimist." I said, shaking my head in exasperation. "But thank you Itachi, for saving me and giving Katsuye a chance at a bright future."

Tsunade-sama knocked on the door before entering. "It's time. Are you ready Ritsuko?"

I nodded and handed Katsuye over. Itachi squeezed my hand before following after the Lady Hokage. Tears welled up in my eyes. It was done. Katsuye was gone. Only fate would decide if we would ever meet again. I buried my face in my hands to hide my tears and to muffle my sobs. My only child and she was doomed to be hunted by Akatsuki. If only I knew for sure that she would be safe, this would be easier to bear.

I felt something press against my back and a strong pair of arms slipped around my waist. Kankuro cuddled me from behind and whispered in my ear. "Go ahead and cry. No one else will hear you."

I leaned back against him and cried aloud. He patiently held me and let me vent both my sorrow and rage. He didn't speak until I ran out of energy. "She'll be safe now. Letting her go isn't a sign of weakness, but one of strength. And you needn't worry about your own safety either; I've been assigned to escort you home and over see the rest of your recovery. We leave tomorrow."

"Assigned or volunteered?" I teased.

"Alright you got me," he laughed as he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'd do anything to spend more time with you."

"And snatch whatever kisses you can too, I see." I mused dryly.

"Guilty again," he turned my chin so he could give me a real kiss. "You're welcome to stop me at any time."

"Perhaps later," I giggled as I kissed him back.

We set out for Sunagakure early the next morning, escorted by the ANBU of both Sunagakure and Konoha. I was afraid that we would draw too much attention to ourselves traveling in such a large company. But we moved too quickly and stealthily to be noticed. Soon we were home and I was settled back in my old apartment. It felt like it had been years since I was last here. Kankuro personally hired all the nurses that over saw my care, but he still came over often. It was a little buggy after a while to be on bed rest. I felt great and was itching to train again. I missed Chikara, I couldn't wait to push the limits on my abilities and become even stronger.

After four months, Kankuro finally decided that I was ready to leave the confines of my apartment. For our first real outing, he took me out star gazing. We lay down on the dunes just outside of the city. He was pointing out various constellations though I had to correct a few. We talked in general, just teasing and laughing like we usually did. Then he grabbed my hand and we just stared silently at the heavens. For the first time in a very long while, everything felt like it should be. Just the two of us, side by side. I felt secure in that.

"You have to go back tomorrow, don't you?" I asked, rolling onto my side to face him.

He sighed. "Yes, my request to stay longer has been denied."

"But why would you need to stay longer?" I asked. "I'm feeling much better and I'm ready to start training."

"Its just selfishness on my part," he admitted. "I just don't want to leave you."

"I'm a big girl, you know." I huffed. "I don't need anymore looking after."

His eyes softened. "That isn't why I want to stay. I just don't want to be apart from you."

He snuggled closer to me and pulled me in for a long kiss. "Will you marry me?"

I giggled. "Way to kill the moment with another proposal."

He chuckled. "I know, I know, but it will be some time before we meet again. I just want to know that you'll wait for me."

"You won't have to wait long," I assured him. "I'll be back in action before you know it."

He nuzzled his cheek against mine, his lips tickling my ear as he spoke. "You're still not answering my question."

I thought about it for a moment, trying to think of why I had never accepted him before now. I couldn't think of a single reason why I shouldn't. "Yes Kankuro. I will marry you."

"YES!" He cried out, pumping a fist into the air. "She's mine! You hear that world? Ritsuko is mine at last!"

"Will you shut up?" I hissed, punching him in the shoulder. "Keep your voice down, sheesh!"

"How can I be quiet when you've just made my dreams come true?" He grinned as he held me close again.

I blushed. "I don't see how I'm much of a catch. I'm getting the better end of the deal."

"No Ritsuko," he whispered as he kissed my neck. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

His words sparked a memory of Kisame and me on our wedding night. He held me just like this and said the same thing. My heart ached for a moment. A small voice in the back of my mind reminded me of that night in the hospital. I didn't want to admit it then or even to Itachi, but he was absolutely right. I haven't fully gotten over Kisame. It was ridiculous considering the colossal jerk he turned out to be, but I couldn't help it. I was going to have to find a way to because I didn't want to hold back on Kankuro. He deserved someone who loved him with all their heart. I started convincing myself that whatever feelings I had for Kisame were from the past.

A sudden chill swept over us and a deep voice rumbled. "Where is it?"

I felt a tightening on my throat and was abruptly thrown some distance from Kankuro. I couldn't get up; something was on top of me. Madara materialized on me. "Where is the baby?"


	9. Chapter 9: Cursed Once More

A part of me was relieved, Katsuye was still safe! But what about me? I struggled against his numbing grip. "I don't know, they never told me!"

He put a hand on my forehead, his fingers digging in painfully. Was he trying to read my thoughts? I didn't know he had the power to do that. He growled in frustration. "So you're telling the truth after all. But no matter, you're still coming back with me."

I fought back even harder. "I'm not a part of Akatsuki anymore! You have no power over me!"

"Ah, but that is where you are wrong. There is no escape from Akatsuki, especially for you." He chuckled cruelly as he slipped a ring onto my finger. I didn't have to look at it to know what it was. "You're my little trump card remember?"

"Let her go now!" Kankuro shouted as he charged. What was he thinking? He didn't have any of his puppet scrolls on him. I didn't have my sword either. We had let our guard down just this once, and now we were paying the price.

I saw something shift under Madara's sleeve. I knew what it was and tried to warn him. "Kankuro get back!"

It was too late. Madara jumped up and whipped around just before Kankuro reached him, stabbing him through the heart with a Chakra Disruption Blade. His eyes widened, mouth hung open, and he fell backwards as if in slow motion.

"KANKURO!" I screamed as I rushed to his side. I gathered him in my arms, trying to ignore the fact that he was bleeding on me. But I was too late; he was already gone. I wouldn't even have the comfort of hearing his last words. I wept over him, my tears dripping on his pale face.

"Enough of that nonsense." Madara said as he tossed the blade aside and started walking away. "Pick her up. We have work to do."

To my surprise, Kisame appeared at my side. How long had he been there? I held on tighter to Kankuro. I couldn't just leave him here. He deserved a proper burial, and Gaara-sama and Temari-san deserved to hear what happened. I also didn't want to acknowledge what had happened either. Kankuro couldn't be dead. Madara and Kisame weren't here. This was a dream. That's all it was, just a dream.

Kisame crouched down and carefully pried me away. I beat against him with my fists. "No! Let me go or I'll kill you!"

"There is nothing you can do for him," he whispered softly under his breath. "Don't make things worse for yourself."

I paused for a moment, looking into his eyes with surprise. He looked sad, almost sympathetic, but why? Surely he knew now how special Kankuro was to me, that he was technically competition. I was too over-whelmed with grief to fight him as he gathered me into his arms and followed after Madara at a brisk pace.

I didn't pay attention to where we were going, what did it matter anyway? I couldn't stop replaying Kankuro's final stance in my mind. Why did he do it? Why wasn't I able to stop it? He died because of me. If we had never met, he would have fallen for some other girl. One that wasn't part of Akatsuki. He would have been a father and later a grandfather. He would have lived a long and happy life if not for me. It was my fault. It was my Akatsuki connections that brought him down. His last words to me seared my memory; _you're the best thing that's ever happened to me._ Would he have still felt that way if he knew what the future held just minutes away?

And just when I was about to take a chance and let someone else into my heart, I lost him. How could this be happening? Was I forever doomed to be alone and miserable? I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, but stopped just in time when I saw the blood on my hands. Kankuro's wet and sticky blood on my hands. I could barely catch my breath and I felt dizzy and lightheaded.

"I think she's going into shock," Kisame informed Madara.

"Serves her right after all the trouble she's caused," he snarled.

"Find your center Suko," Kisame hissed into my ear under his breath. "Find your center!"

He used to tell me that when I was his student, whenever I got tired or sore during training. I had to learn how to work through the pain, every shinobi had to. It was important to have a center, something to focus on to ease the pain. If you didn't, it would overwhelm you every time. But Kankuro had been my center, the one sure and steady thing through this whole fiasco. And how did I repay him? By leading him to his death. A small voice of reason reminded me that it wasn't really my fault. It was beyond my control; I had tried to warn him. But such thoughts did not comfort me. I felt myself slipping away and I welcomed the blackness.

When I woke up, I was in a gray room. Probably the same one I used to have when I was a member before. So I was back. I raised my hand to look at my new Akatsuki ring. My heart ached with the soul-crushing realization that I was cursed once again. _Again?_ I thought grimly. _I was always cursed. Kisame was taken from me and now Kankuro. Perhaps I was always meant to be alone._

I tried to rally my spirits. I didn't want to let my grief overwhelm me like last time. I had to be stronger than that. I escaped last time; I would find a way to do it again. But I would have to harden my heart, let no one else get close to me. To find true love not just once, but twice was incredible. I couldn't expect it to happen a third time. I was startled when Kisame leaned overhead and wiped my brow with a cool cloth. I swatted him away. "Leave me alone! You've done enough."

He drew his hand back and sighed. "Don't let your grief harden you Ritsuko, or you'll end up like me."

I considered this as I looked him over. His robe was tossed over the back of his chair and he sat bare-chested. There were such tired lines on his face, ones I had never seen before. He looked exhausted and what more his eyes looked haunted. They used to be so lively and mischievous. I did not recognize them anymore. I remembered what Itachi said about second chances. What did Kisame want to change?

"He was very special to you, wasn't he?" he asked as he stood up. "That young man?"

"Yes, he was," I said with my voice catching. "I was going to marry him."

I could see his shoulders tensing. So he didn't know after all. I expected him to explode, but he kept his temper under control. "I see. So that was what you meant about making different choices."

"About that night," I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "You have some nerve taking advantage of a girl who was high on pain pills! Why didn't you tell me you were real?"

"It was a rare opportunity to hear those thoughts and feelings you keep so tightly locked away," he said as he wrung out the cloth in the sink. "You can hardly blame me for keeping quiet."

"But why were you there that night?" I pressed, determined to think badly of him. I wasn't falling for this nice guy act.

He hesitated. "The truth is that I was supposed to kidnap Katsuye. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I failed the mission."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. I was touched that he left Katsuye alone, but why? It would have been so easy for him to do it.

"Is she really safe?" He asked earnestly.

I nodded. "As far as I know. And hopefully he never finds her. "

My ring throbbed slightly, reminding me to watch my words. To be back under the curse was a terrible feeling. My hands shook and my knees trembled. "Why is this happening all over again?" I asked myself aloud. "Why now?"

Kisame watched on, not sure if he should approach me or stay back. "Madara needs your chakra sensing abilities. He lost his last one to Konoha."

"It has to be something else. He said my abilities were useless before." That wasn't entirely true. I had gotten stronger, it is possible that now they were good enough, even for his standards.

He slipped his robe on and handed me mine. I didn't have the heart to take it. He sighed, placed it on my desk, and pulled me into a hug. I wanted to resist him but right now that was all I needed. I hugged him back and sobbed into his chest. "I can't do this Kisame. Not again."

"I know." He said. "I know this won't be easy for you. But at least this time we're together right? That's better than before."

"Not by much," I scowled.

"No matter what happens, I'll be here for you. Please trust in that."

I pushed him away. "Why should I even trust you? First you're an abusive jerk and now you're trying to be nice? Quit the act already. Which is the real you?"

He was a little taken aback. "You don't know?"

"No, I guess I don't. I don't know what to believe anymore," I opened the door and paused before stepping out into the hallway. "Forgive me Senpai; I just don't think I can go back to what we used to be. You'd be better off without me anyway. I only cause trouble for those I care about."

He started to protest, but I closed the door. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I just wanted to be alone. It was so weird how quiet it was now. Before there were plenty of members, there was always something going on. But now they were all dead or out on the battlefield. Was there anyone else?

I started to step around a strange puddle when it suddenly rippled. A head poked through it and I jumped back. Suigetsu-san poked his head through. "Well, if it isn't Ritsuko the Loner, the only woman ever considered for a position with the Seven Swordsmen."

I groaned. Of course he would be here. I turned on my heel and stormed away. "Get lost if you know what's good for you."

"And miss this opportunity to meet a legend?" He asked as he appeared before me. "Chikara is a most impressive blade, perhaps you'd be willing to show me how it works? Because once I own it, it'll save me the trouble of figuring that out."

I felt my temper flare up, but I squashed it down. He wasn't worth picking a fight with and I wasn't ignorant of his deadly reputation. I kept moving on, ignoring his taunts. Eventually he got the hint and left me be. I stepped into another room. It was dark and I didn't bother to turn on the light. I took a seat on the floor and rested my head back against the wall. I couldn't cry anymore, even if I had wanted to. I just needed some peace, a chance to collect my thoughts.

I didn't usually bother using my chakra sensing abilities when I didn't need to, but suddenly I sensed a large amount in the room. Not only was it massive, but it was the most vile and evil kind that I have encountered since Madara. For all I knew it really was Madara. In that case, I had to get out of here before he noticed me. I stood up as quietly as I could. I rested a hand on the door when I felt another grab it. Suddenly the light turned and I was pinned against the door by a strange boy. He looked so much like Itachi, they could have been brothers. Was this Sasuke?

He stared coolly at me. "So you sensed me, did you? You must be our new Chakra Sensor. Hopefully you'll last longer than the last one."


	10. Chapter 10: Final Warning

Something about this boy unnerved me greatly. His black eyes seemed to reflect the blackness of his soul. His chakra washed over me, its vileness making me feel nauseous. It was too much for me. I had to get out of here. I tried harder to open the door. He looked down at my right arm curiously and leaned forward, his mouth opening slightly like he was about to bite me.

I shoved him back. "Get away from me! What is your problem?"

He frowned. "So you don't have the heal bite ability then? Pity, that was such a handy technique."

The door opened from behind me and I fell back against someone. I was half-hoping it would be Kisame. He was better than anyone else around here so far, but only just. No such luck, instead a really tall orange haired boy leaned down to look at me. "Who is this Sasuke? A new recruit?"

I backed off. "Don't mind me, just passing through."

"I'm Jugo," he said with a friendly bow. "What's your name?"

Sasuke answered for me. "That's Ritsuko Ryoku, presumably our new Chakra Sensor,"

"That is still for Madara-sama to decide," Kisame said as he turned around the corner. "Until then she is under my supervision."

Sasuke smirked. "Not for long, given your latest performance record. I didn't think even the legendary Monster of the Hidden Mist could fail to retrieve a baby. Which is why we were given the assignment instead. Try to get it together," he said in sarcastic exasperation. "We won't always be available to pick up your slack."

Kisame glared at him, but did nothing more. Was he just as afraid of him as I was? He did a much better job of hiding it than I did. He put a hand on my shoulder and steered me away without a word.

"Don't cross him Suko," he warned once we were out of earshot. "He's dangerous. He killed their last Chakra Sensor."

"What are you doing here?" I shrugged his hand off.

"Looking for you and trying to keep you out of trouble." He huffed.

"I don't need your protection; I've gotten out of worse scrapes. You need to stop treating me like a child," I grumbled.

He pushed me up against the wall, grabbing me by the collar. "Then stop acting like one! And knock it off with the attitude. I'm not in the mood for it."

I was half temped to say "Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it?" But that sounded juvenile even to me. I just glared back.

"Let's just get one thing straight," he said tightly. "I didn't ask for you to be here. If I had my way, you'd still be free. But as long as you're here, I'll protect you as best I can. And you want to know why? It's because I love you. You're my wife, my reason for living, and the only person who has ever touched my heart."

I started to talk, but he shushed me. "I talk, and you listen. I realize that you don't feel the same way anymore, but you need to know where I stand on the matter. All I ask is that you trust me like you used to. At least give me a chance to change."

Seconds chances…so this was Kisame's? Keep an open mind…man did Itachi peg down the situation or what! He was better than any fortune teller I knew. This might be another trick, but I could see the sincerity in his eyes. I bit my lip. "I'm not sure I can."

He looked a little hurt, but he could hardly blame my hesitation. "I know I've killed your trust in a huge way. You know I do some pretty stupid things, and that was by far the worst. And if I could take it back, I swear I would. Would you at least consider trusting me again?"

I nodded.

"That's all I ask," he said, the edge of voice softened a bit and he released me. "Now Madara-sama feels that it's important to see how your Chakra Sensing ability has grown. He's prepared a few tests."

I barely kept back a few choice remarks. I needed to get a hold of myself; Kisame was right. I was acting childish and we both knew that my short temper was my way of keeping the grief back. I still hadn't had a chance to properly mourn Kankuro. Hopefully I would find the time and privacy to do that at some point. But for now, I needed to focus on the task at hand. While I hated the idea of having my skills put to use for Akatsuki, a very small part of me wanted to please my old Senpai. Show him how good I was now, and make him realize that I was worth the time and investment he put into my training.

He led me to a dark room and asked me to use the Mind's Eye of the Kagura technique to sense various things in the room. I was supposed to know how many of his clones were in the room, and track one as it did an obstacle course. Then the course changed to identifying animals by their chakra. I'll admit I did terrible on that. It wasn't a skill I felt was useful so I never used it. The last exercise was discerning whether or not he was telling me the truth or lying through fluctuations in his chakra. It was hard to not laugh at some of the whoppers he told.

"I'm not sure you'll get a fair assessment from that one, "I admitted once the lights turned on. "You're such a terrible liar; I barely needed to use the technique."

Someone spoke over my shoulder. "Then perhaps you'd like to try me instead?"

That bone-chilling voice. I didn't have to turn around to know that it was Madara. My hands curled into fists and my chain-link gloves hardened out of instinct. I felt his cool gloved hand on the back of my neck before twirling one of my loose curls around a finger. Angry shivers ran up my spine but I was powerless to stop him. He was murderous, manipulative, and cruel. The very bane of existence. And yet to touch me so tenderly went against all reason. How could he do that? _Why_ would he do that? They were answers I would probably never know.

Kisame watched on with a steely gaze, a vein in his forehead looked ready to pop. It was obvious that this bothered him just as much. But he was just as powerless as me.

"You are dismissed Hoshigaki," Madara said firmly. "I will take it from here."

Kisame hesitated.

"That was an order," Madara purred malevolently.

Kisame turned on his heel and left the room without a backwards glance.

Madara still had my hair around his finger and he yanked it hard. I cried out in pain as my head was wrenched back. He glowered overhead. "You have a unique effect on people Ritsuko the Loner. You've managed to undo some of the psychological damage I'm done to him. He's resisting my orders, something he hasn't done in a long time."

"And that's a bad thing?" I snapped back. I knew I should probably keep my mouth shut, but what did I have to lose now? If he killed me in anger it could hardly be worse than being stuck in Akatsuki. Also I wanted him to know that I would resist him till my dying breath.

He cursed under his breath as he threw me against the wall. I was thrown too quickly to brace myself and I cracked my head. I crumbled to the ground. I pressed a hand against the sorest part, and pulled it away to find blood on it. Blood…just like Kankuro's. My hand trembled and I hastily wiped it on my robe. I couldn't think about him right now. I couldn't have a breakdown in front of Madara.

He grabbed me by the throat and held me up, my legs dangling off the ground. "I don't think you understand your predicament so let me enlighten you," he said slowly. "You have lost. There is no escape for you. You are mine, always have been and always will be."

"I belong to nobody, you least of all," I said through gritted teeth.

He squeezed harder, making me gasp for breath. "You have been most difficult to control, even more so than Itachi. This is a critical time and I can't afford anymore delays or mishaps. So you will cooperate this time round, are we clear?"

I not only hardened the chain link material of my collar, but sent a little electric shock through it. It wouldn't affect me; I had a protective layer underneath. It surprised him however and he recoiled and dropped me. Forgetting too late about the curse, I involuntarily grabbed a kunai from my weapons pouch and stabbed myself in the stomach, narrowly missing vital organs.

"You think you have nothing left to lose, don't you?" He sneered. "You haven't felt the worst of it yet."

I wheezed, finally the curse's hold on me ended so I could throw the kunai aside. His shadow fell over me and I trembled. I hated how weak he made me feel. He had the power to crush me beneath his thumb, and yet he held back. Why? Why was I needed? I thought back to that fateful night at Itachi's house when we talked about Madara.

_"I was just thinking how unusual your case is. It is very rare that Akatsuki takes such a…personal interest in their individual members. And for you to have met Madara personally…"_

_The question burned on my lips. "What does he want with me?"_

_Itachi's haunted eyes bore into mine. "I don't know, but it will be nothing good."_

"Why do you need me?" I couldn't help but ask. I hardly expected him to answer, but what did I have to lose by asking?

He knelt down before me and reached out to stroke my cheek. I flinched under his gentle touch. It was maddening how he'd go from affectionate to maximum rage and back again. But it was more than that, it was unpredictable and unsettling. I never knew what to expect from him. "You will know when the time is right," he murmured. "But until then you will obey my every order. You think you know what pain is? Resist me again and you'll discover a whole new definition. I broke Hoshigaki and I will break you."

I think he meant it. My blood ran cold. He chuckled cruelly, rose to his feet, and started to walk away. He was starting to dissolve into thin air but his voice lingered. "You're not as powerful as Karin, but I must confess that your sensing ability has improved. You might be useful for that task as well. Make me proud, my little trump card."

By now I had managed to stop the bleeding in my stomach, but now my clothes stuck to the drying blood. I had to go change and dress the wound quickly. Perhaps there would be a medical kit in my room. I slowly rose to my feet and slightly staggered towards the door. As I opened the door, it suddenly swung open faster. Kisame was eagerly waiting on the other side. I lost my balance and fell into his arms.

"Are you alright? Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" He asked hurriedly.

I grunted as I regained my balance and gently pushed him away. I left some blood on his robe. He gasped.

"I did that one myself," I said as I rested one hand along the wall as I walked back. "Just the stupid curse putting me in my place when I attacked him."

He sucked in his breath. "You…you _attacked_ him?"

"Nothing major unfortunately, but it was worth it." I grinned from ear to ear. "It was only a shame that I couldn't see his face when I zapped him."

He reached out to help me but I waved him off.

"Why do you always insist on doing things on your own?" He scowled.

"Please Senpai, just leave me alone. I can handle this." I paused for a moment and sighed. He was only trying to be nice and I did promise to try giving him a chance. I looked over my shoulder at him. "I appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. I only need a little time alone. If I need you, I'll find you."

He softened and nodded. "I understand. I'll do some training of my own until then."

Soon I was back in my room and after a few minutes search, I found the medical kit. I carefully removed my shirt and under chain-link armor, tossing them on the floor. I pushed through the pain as I cleaned and dressed the wound. A kunai is a relatively small weapon, but I had had quite a bit of force behind it when I struck myself. The wound was a little deeper than I had thought. After taking some minor pain pills, I curled up in bed and tried to fall asleep. It was hard when Madara was on my mind. His words ran through my mind. _You think you have nothing left to lose, don't you? You haven't felt the worst of it yet. _And I didn't doubt he meant it.


	11. Chapter 11: Night Owls

I found no rest in sleep. The memory of Kankuro's death replayed in my mind. Only this time he did have some final words. He glared at me with contempt. "I wish I had never met you. I would have been better off without you." Over and over it happened until I woke up drenched in a cold sweat. It was still the middle of the night and it took me a few seconds to remember where I was. I wrapped my arms around my legs and cried. This might be my only chance to mourn privately so I took advantage of it. I tried to keep quiet because Kisame was in the next room and I didn't want to attract his attention.

At last I let out all of my rage and despair and I felt emotionally drained. As lame as it sounded, I really felt like I could use a hug. To connect with another person. I couldn't ask that of Kisame. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

_And what idea is that?_ I asked myself. _The fact that you still care about him? _It isn't something I want to encourage, I "thought back." Great, now I was having a conversation with myself and no crazy high dose pills to blame it on. I turned on the light and pulled Chikara from her stand. At some point during the exercises, she was placed in my room. I found a polishing kit and set to cleaning off the dust that had built up from months of sitting on a shelf. It gave me something to do that took my mind off my troubling thoughts and feelings. It didn't work very well. Kisame's words ran through my mind. _Don't let your grief harden you Ritsuko, or you'll end up like me. _Madara had also said something about breaking him. It was certainly true, he was darker, but it was also true that he was beginning to return to his old self. Was it because of what I said that night in the hospital? About his losing the very best parts of himself? Could it be that he was trying to get those back?

I polished until Chikara gleamed, but sadly it did not bring me the comfort it usually did. I strapped her to my back and let the room. Thankfully the lights in the hallway were still on, just dimmed. I found my way to the training room and ran through some basic sword exercises. I was careful not to do anything too strenuous in case my wound re-opened.

"You're awake too huh?"

I turned at the sound of Kisame's voice. He looked exhausted, his shoulders hanging down. He was dressed only in pants. I caught myself staring at his muscular physique and quickly looked away. "I'm sorry Senpai. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't. I was already up," he assured me as he approached, hands in his pockets. "I don't sleep very well anymore."

"Why is that?" I asked as I strapped Chikara to my back.

He sighed. "It's easy to push unpleasant things from my mind during the day, but they inevitably resurface and always in my dreams. The one time I can't consciously push them away."

He looked so haggard that I couldn't help myself. I reached up to touch his face, gently touching the creases on his faces. He was only in his early thirties but he looked much older. He wore a sad smile, one that made his eyes look dull. "Do I really look that different?"

"Madara said he broke you. What did he mean by that?"

His face hardened and he pulled back. "That's not something you need to know about."

I took a step forward, but drew back. What was I doing? Things were not like before and I needed to keep my space. "I didn't mean to pry. He just warned me that he'd break me too."

"Don't let it get to that point," he said harshly. "You might not survive it."

A shiver ran down my spine. I could remember a more confident Kisame who feared nothing. He was not the one who stood before me now. He was indeed broken and shattered, just a shadow of his former self. My heart went out to him. I let this happen. I let it happen when I agreed to forget about him. "I should have tried harder to free you." I said forlornly. "There must have been something I could have done."

His mouth set in a firm line and his eyes had a rigid glint in them. "What's done is done. There is no use in rehashing the past. It only keeps the pain fresh; some things are better left forgotten."

_What have you forgotten?_ Was the question burning in my mind but didn't dare ask aloud. It was too intimate and a boundary I did not want to cross. But perhaps he was right; I could stand to let the past go…especially where it concerned Kankuro. My heart ached and I felt tears threatening to reemerge. I quickly crushed the feeling. I wasn't going to cry in front of him either.

Kisame's words interrupted my thoughts. "What's keeping you up at this hour?"

"I just had a lot of things on my mind too," I said vaguely.

He looked unconvinced. "I see."

"What's the big deal anyway? You have your secrets and I have mine," I said simply as I started to walk past him.

He grabbed a hold of my hand, stopping me in my tracks for a moment. I ignored the stirring in my heart. I was not going to give in now, not when the loss of Kankuro was still too near. I kept my face calm and cool as I made eye contact. "What do you need Senpai?"

His face dropped and he let go. "Nothing. I hope you sleep well."

"Same to you." I left and didn't look back. I know that it was harsh, but I didn't know what else to do. He needed to remember his place and where I stood. We were not a couple anymore. Too much had happened and too many things had changed between us for us to get back together. This was only one part of a much larger war and we were no longer on the same side. He had surrendered to Madara and I would do no such thing. I had the feeling that he needed me for more than my Chakra Sensing and swordsmanship abilities. I just needed to find a way out before that happened. I had beaten the odds before and would do so again. I had a fiery spirit that would not be tamed.


	12. Chapter 12: Miko the Kitsune

For several weeks I was further trained in the areas I was found to be the most weakest. I hadn't seen Madara in a long time so I could breathe a little easier and stop jumping at very noise behind my back. The training wasn't so bad. It was also exciting to grow in ways I had never dreamed possible. I had forgotten how incredible it felt to have the added power rush. It's no wonder that it went straight to Kisame's head. Speaking of him, he did much better at keeping his distance and things got more comfortable between us again. I could still never bring myself to talk about Kankuro around him. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted to hear about him anyway. It was great to have him as a friend again, though occasionally I still had to ignore his more passionate gazes. It was obvious that his feelings hadn't changed, and I couldn't expect them to. Still it was incredible how well he held himself back.

Strangely I found a confidante in Jugo. I learned the hard way not to talk to him about anything that hinted of anger. The last time I did, I narrowly escaped with my life. But when he was in a good mood, he could always make me laugh. He also loved hugs and gave them often, at least to me anyway. It was a shame that he couldn't control his violent side and even more so that Orochimaru had made them worse.

"I wish you could be in our group," he had once said wistfully. "It's a shame that you don't like Sasuke."

"You mean you actually like him?" I asked incredulously.

He nodded. "He can always calm me down when I rage out of control."

He was absolutely right though. I couldn't stand Sasuke. It was a shame that he was my main instructor in swordsmanship. It was humiliating enough to have to train under someone so much younger than me, but did he have to come off so condescending too? After a while I couldn't tell who I hated more, him or Madara. But at least Sasuke was a jerk through and through. He never tried to touch me. He was nearly as powerful as Itachi, and didn't hold back or instruct very well. It was basically the "keep up with me or I'll kill you" approach. It did make me stronger though, I grudgingly gave him that much.

As for Suigetsu, well, he was still a pain in the neck. He was forever trying to bait me into a fight so he could gain Chikara. Apparently he used to bother Kisame about Samehada, but not now that the blade belonged to the eight tailed jinchūriki. I would be worried about him stealing Chikara when I slept except that he made it a point to say it was best to defeat the former master. Stealing was too cheap a trick and not as honorable. Honor in Akatsuki? That was a laughable thought.

Another downside to being in Akatsuki was the lack of news from the outside world. What was going on in the war? It was obvious that neither side had won yet, but what about my friends? Did Gaara-sama and Temari-san think I had abandoned Kankuro? Were they looking for me? Was Katsuye still safe? I was beginning to feel stifled in the base, at least before I was able to travel. But I suppose it was because I was too well known now. It could also mean that my friends were still looking for me. With all this time indoors, I was starting to feel like a real trump card, forced to hide in the shadows until I was ready to be played. It was a creepy feeling, but I did my best to play to dutiful little member. On the inside however, my mind was set on freedom.

Soon it got even quieter around the base when Team Taka left on their mission to find Katsuye. I heard that Madara had finally exhausted his other attempts to find her. Jugo had sought me out personally before he left and told me everything.

"I am so sorry," he said with his eyes lowered in shame. "I don't want Katsuye to come to harm either. I wish there was another way."

I rested a hand on his large shoulders. It was amazing how child-like he was despite his size. "Orders are orders, you can't help that. And besides, your mission is to _try_ to find her. There is always the chance that you will fail."

He shook his head. "You don't know Sasuke. Nothing stops him when he's focused on a goal…" then his voice lowered. "Not even his own teammates."

Jugo had told me earlier about Sasuke's terrible treatment of Karin. Jugo squared his shoulders and looked at me with determination. "But don't you worry. I will take care of her as best I can. While I remain sane, she will be safe with me."

That was hardly reassuring, but I immensely appreciated the sentiment. I stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss his cheek. He blushed a fine shade of red, gave me a quick hug and left within seconds. That had been three months ago and I'd heard nothing from him since.

Now it was just me and Kisame. We took to sparring together like we used to in the old days. Only this time he treated me like a comrade and kept his advice to himself. I liked that, he was treating me like the adult I was. At first it was a lot of fun, but soon I started making excuses to bale out. I'm sure he saw them for what they were; my lies were nearly as bad as his. But it was easier than telling him the truth. Whenever we fought, we were in sync, connecting in a way that we never had before. It soon became less of a physical battle and more of an emotional one. It was during those times when I felt more attracted to him. Especially the time he had me pinned to the ground, our chests heaving and bodies trembling from the exertion. His face was just inches from mine, his breath on my neck. Without thinking, I started bringing my mouth closer to his. He didn't dare move closer, but he didn't back away either. The hunger in his eyes brought me back to reality and I turned away.

He hardly needed further encouragement so I wanted to avoid the temptation. Looking back on it, I'm not really sure why I went to such lengths to avoid those intimate moments. The loss of Kankuro had faded like all pain does with time. He was now a pleasant memory from a fond time. I think what held me back was my fear that something would come between us again and I was sure something…or rather someone would. As long as Madara was pulling the strings, I would never rest easy.

Then out of the blue we got the assignment to return to Kirigakure and rob some scrolls from my family's library. It sounded like a lame mission, but I was grateful for the chance to be outside once again. I wondered how Kisame would feel about it. It would be the first time in years that we were both there. Heck, it would be my first time since my memories were erased. I had never gone back, complying with Itachi's hypnotic suggestion. As we got ready to leave, Kisame was pretty pensive and I didn't dare interrupt his thoughts.

He led the way and I followed close behind. This was the same route I took all those years ago with Itachi on that last fateful mission. My heart ached as I remembered it like it was yesterday. I wonder if Kisame realized this too. We made quick progress and arrived in the borders of Kirigakure within a few days. We stayed in a hotel, but not the same one from before. I think we both wanted to avoid those memories.

Kisame went to sleep early and I went downstairs to get a quick snack. This hotel was small and didn't have much business. This area was nowhere near the battle field so most of the able-bodied shinobi were away fighting. And here I was, a traitor to my friends and the cause I deeply believed in. I was so angry that I absent-mindedly squeezed my glass so hard that it shattered.

"Wow," a woman nearby whistled. "What a temper you've got there."

I ignored her and picked out the leftover shards of glass that clung to my glove. I apologized to the bar tender who scowled as he gathered up the pieces.

The stranger persisted in getting my attention. "Had an argument with your husband huh?"

I turned to her with the intention of telling her to mind her own business, but her appearance caught me so off guard that I was speechless. She looked about my age with a beautiful face and striking features…which included fox ears and a plushy tail. The first thought that came to my mind was that she was either into role-playing or that she was a Kitsune. I kept my mouth shut all the same.

"Yes, they're real so there's no need to stare," she said with a playful grin as she flicked her tail and tweaked one ear. "I don't see where you can come off so judgmental when you're married to a walking fish. Seriously are those gills real or just decoration?"

I roused myself from my stupor. "Oh, that guy? No, they're real and no I'm not married to him."

She looked surprised. "Really? But there is such chemistry between you two. I could have sworn-"

"Swear all you want, but it's the truth." I got the bar tenders attention and ordered another drink. He still looked a little miffed from earlier, but business was business and greed won in the end.

The Kitsune laughed and playfully smacked her forehead. "How rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Miko Hayashi, from Konoha."

I bowed my head in turn. "Ritsuko the Loner, from Kirigakure."

She moved from her seat to sit closer and I involuntarily flinched at my personal bubble being invaded. "Ah, so you live here then. Coming or going?"

I pushed back from my stool. "Look, I really don't have time to chat."

She looked a little sad. "Oh, oh ok. Perhaps another time then."

I turned to leave when she grabbed my arm. "One more thing Ritsuko. Be sure to read the scrolls."

I slowly looked over my shoulder and swallowed nervously. "I beg your pardon?"

Her boisterous nature gave way to complete seriousness. It was almost like she knew something I didn't. "Read the scrolls and you'll know why you're needed by the masked man."

Goosebumps covered my arm and I felt short of breath. How did she know about the scrolls? I was about to ask more when she wore a half smile and shook her head. "I can say no more." Then she perked up excitedly. "Oh wait, yes I can!"

I waited with bated breath.

"Give that shark guy a chance, ok? It's obvious he cares very much for you."

I groaned and pulled away. So much for that prophetic moment.


	13. Chapter 13: Together Once More

I wasn't at all surprised to see Kisame wide awake when I got back upstairs. He was sitting at a table going over some blueprints. He didn't look up when I entered the room. "Have a good time?"

I snorted sarcastically. "Yeah, there's so much going on around here. Barely had a moment to myself."

"Good to hear," he said absentmindedly. "Listen, I've been going over these floor plans of your family's estate. And it looks like the library is right on the fringes of the property. It should be a simple enough operation. I think I can do this without your help."

"Oh no you don't," I said, snatching one of the blue prints off the table. "You're not getting all the glory to yourself. I want in on this too. That _is_ why I came."

"Its too risky Suko," he frowned as he tried to grab the paper back, but I pulled it out of reach. "You'll be recognized, especially now that you resemble your mother even more so than you did a few years back."

I took a quick look in the mirror. Now that I thought about it, he was right. Dang it! Now I had the impulse to cut my hair and dye it some weird color. But that was silly; I wouldn't really go to all of that trouble. "I'll be stealthy, give me some credit. This isn't my first covert operation."

"I'm the senior partner and since I pull rank I call the shots." He finally succeeded in getting the blue print back. He carefully rubbed out the creases. "And be careful, this is the only copy we have."

I fell on the bed with a groan. "Such a lame move Senpai."

"Yes, but it works," he said over his shoulder with a grin.

I thought more about that girl in the bar. "I need to read those scrolls."

He turned in his chair to look at me. "Whatever for?"

Would he really believe that I had just met a Kitsune? No, I wanted him to take me seriously. "Let's just say I've received a reliable tip that it will give me answers."

He frowned. "Answers to what?"

"To why Madara needs me."

He scowled at the name and turned back to the table. "I think you're making too big a deal out of this Ritsuko. I've already told you why he needs you."

"C'mon you really buy that whole needing a chakra sensor crap? There are several others better than me back in Sunagakure. I wasn't even considered good enough to be on Team Taka, I doubt I'm good enough for Madara."

"Stop saying his name!" Kisame hissed as he pounded a fist on the table so hard that I heard it crack. "I don't want to hear anymore about him!"

I shut my mouth. I knew not to push the subject any further. I should have remembered that Madara was a sensitive subject for Kisame. He took a deep breath and relaxed his hands. "You're going to stay here and that is final."

I jumped to my feet. "No it's not! I mean no disrespect Senpai, but I strongly disagree with your decision!"

He rounded on me. "You will learn your place," he snarled. "Both on this mission and with Madara! He is no one to cross and you're pushing it! You're lucky he didn't kill you when you pulled that electric stunt. He is not one to show mercy."

I stormed up to him and jabbed a finger into his chest. "Neither of you will tell me what to do, cursed or not!" I flinched as the ring squeezed painfully.

He clapped a hand over my mouth. "You need to watch your words more carefully!"

I grabbed his hand by the wrist and pried it off my mouth. "What are you so afraid of? Nothing ever scared you before. You used to be fearless!"

As he stared into my eyes, his anger subsided and was replaced with sadness. "No Suko, that isn't true." He said softly. "I did and do still have one fear."

"And what is that?" I lowered my voice, my temper giving way to curiosity.

His eyes lowered to my hand that was still holding his wrist. He tenderly removed it, grabbed my other and enfolded both in his hands. "That something bad will happen to you. That is why I wish you would be more careful. I wouldn't be able to protect you should Madara chose to strike and that just kills me inside. I have failed at so many things; please don't let that be one of them."

I couldn't help but blush, it was hard to be angry with that. I turned on my heel and sat back on the bed, avoiding his eyes. "You worry too much."

He came to sit beside me. "Well someone has to worry about you, especially since you never take the trouble to do it yourself."

I was drawn to his gentle gaze. "I still think you over do it."

He chuckled as he lay down and stretched out beside me. "A fair point. But while we're on the subject of fears, will you share yours?"

I bit my lip.

"What? Too scared to tell me what scares you?" He teased.

Normally I would have either smacked him or given some biting retort. But tonight I was content with looking at him. His words earlier had touched me and I appreciated him so much, more than ever before. The dreaded Monster of the Mist, the Tailed Beast without a Tail, had only one fear because I mattered so much to him. And he still loved me, despite me spurning him at nearly every turn. He had been patient and forgiving, taking the time to relearn who I was. He stayed by me, even when it seemed impossible that I would ever return his love. I suddenly felt ashamed of my behavior and cruelty towards him. _Its no use, _I thought to myself._ I have really tried but I can't fight this anymore._

His expression softened and he curiously tilted his head to the side, waiting for me to speak. I wanted to say that nothing scared me, but we both knew that was a lie. "I'm afraid that I've fallen in love with you all over again."

He looked surprised and was speechless.

I turned my head away. "But who am I kidding? Something bad is going to happen all over again. We used to be together, than Akatsuki separated us. I used to be with Kankuro, than Akatsuki murdered him. I just know something like that is going to happen again. And I think you know it too."

He propped himself up into a half sitting position. "Nothing is ever set in stone. I'd like to think that we chart our own course in the end."

I turned back to him. "Itachi once said that to me."

He nodded with a warm smile. "He told me the same thing and I stand by it." He gently stroked my arm. "Ritsuko, I want you to be happy, whether you love me or not. Please don't hold back and lock away your feelings. You shouldn't be afraid to live."

My heart went out to him even more. I could have sworn he'd grab me and start kissing me like crazy once I confessed my feelings…the second time round. But he was still holding back out of respect. He had indeed changed and for the better. I leaned closer to him till my lips were just inches from his.

He held very still. "Don't tempt me Suko," he whispered. "I can only hold back for so long."

"Now you won't have to," I murmured as I brushed my lips over his.

He spoke so softly I barely heard him. "Are you sure about this?"

"No," I confessed as I ran a hand through his hair. It was as soft as ever. "But I am sure about how I feel, and I know that I'll regret it forever if I never tell you."

He waited expectantly.

"I want you to forgive my cruelty towards you. I was just so afraid to let you back into my life. I thought it was a risk I couldn't afford to take. I've been so hurt before that it's hard to pick up the pieces and move on." I fixed him with a determined gaze. "But I am now ready to say this: I love you and you mean the world to me Kisame."

Something changed in his countenance the second I said his name. I had always called him Senpai to put him in his place. To remind him that what once was would never be again. I had no use for such tactics now. He grabbed my face and kissed me so fiercely that I cried out in surprise. He quickly pulled back. "Are you ok?" He cursed under his breath. "I got carried away, I'm sorry."

I grabbed him by the collar and grinned wickedly. "You will be if that's all you've got!"

He laughed as he pushed me onto my back and knelt over me. "Not even close."

"Then show me what you've got," I challenged. This time I pulled his face closer and kissed him. For the rest of the night no more words were spoken. There was no need for them as husband and wife bonded once more.


	14. Chapter 14: Reality

The next morning I woke up in Kisame's arms. For a horrifying second I thought it was another illusion. But as I took in the surroundings of our hotel room, and double checked the length of my hair, I felt myself begin to relax. This was real and we were both together again.

Kisame stirred and blinked his eyes wearily. He looked confused for a second and then he grinned from ear to ear. "So it wasn't a dream after all."

I snuggled against his bare chest. "Only a dream come true."

He laughed. "Wow, that sounded really sappy."

I gently pinched his arm and stuck out my tongue. "I was trying to sound romantic."

He kissed my forehead. "I appreciate the attempt."

"I think we've stayed here long enough," I sat up and pushed the blankets aside. "We've got work to do remember?"

"Not so fast," he said, pulling me back down. "There's plenty of time for that. Let's just enjoy the moment."

"And what moment is that?" I teased.

He smiled tenderly as he brushed hair out of my face. "This one. You really have become more beautiful." He hugged me so tightly that it took my breath away. "And I get to have you all to myself again. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Kankuro came to my mind. His last words. I shuddered involuntarily and held onto him tightly. Please don't let Kisame met the same fate.

"Is something wrong?" He asked concerned.

"How are we going to make this work Kisame?" I quietly asked. "We're both slaves to Akatsuki now."

"We'll have to keep it a secret," he said as he ran a hand through my long hair. "But we _will_ make it work. I'm not giving up on you."

"You were never the one who did," I whispered forlornly.

"What's done is done," he said, forgiving me in his own way. "Now we have a bright future to look forward to."

"Do we really?" I asked. I felt hope stirring in my heart.

He kissed me on the mouth. "Yes. We were meant to be together."

I giggled like a fool. I felt so happy and complete for the first time in years. "I think you're right Kisame. We'll find a way to make it work."

"Speaking of which," he said as he sat up and swung his legs over the bed. He stood up and stretched lazily. "We have work to do."

"We?" I asked as I started gathering up my clothes off the floor.

"That's right," he winked as he slipped his tank top on. "We're in this together now. But only on one condition."

"That I stay in the shadows and don't take any risks?" I finished for him.

"That's my girl," he said as he ruffled my hair.

I scowled. "Seriously Kisame, when are you going to trust me?"

"This isn't an issue of trust," he said firmly as he gathered up the papers from the table. "Don't you understand your position? You cannot be recognized in your old house. Your family tends to be very suspicious and imaginative of conspiracies. If they saw you, they may think you were seeking to kill the heir and claim the title for yourself."

"You're probably right," I said grudgingly. "So what's the plan?"

He zipped up his traveling robe. We couldn't wear our Akatsuki robes for this mission. "We get a quick bite to eat and then go. We should make it there by nightfall. We sneak in and get out quick. Should be simple enough."

"Sounds good," I said as I strapped Chikara to my back. I hesitated for a moment. "Do you miss Samehada?"

He looked up in puzzlement. "Why do you ask?"

"I can't imagine being without Chikara. She's become a part of me."

He shrugged. "It was a very useful blade but I don't share the same connection with Samehada that you do with Chikara. Your blade is a part of your great ancestry, one I'm surprised they let pass to you."

"They just don't like to get their hands dirty," I said simply. "It only makes sense. Besides, this blade has a dark history."

He looked startled. "It does?"

I nodded. "Supposedly, but its all just superstition anyway. Let's go, I'm starving."

He grabbed my hand and we walked out together. I sat down in the dining area and Kisame went to place our order. I sat back with my hands behind my head, feet up on an empty chair and with a satisfied look on my face.

"I take it that things turned out well then?" A familiar voice said over my shoulder.

I freaked out and fell out of the chair. Miko apologized and helped me up. "I didn't realize you were so jumpy."

"Just don't sneak up on me like that," I grumbled as I sat back down. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting breakfast, just like you," she teased as she sat down and leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. "So, did you make up with that shark guy?"

I scowled and looked away. "It's none of your business."

"Ah Hayashi-san, it's been a long time," Kisame said as he returned to the table and set our plates down. "How have you been?"

"You two know each other?" I asked incredulously.

"I don't remember you," Miko said as she grabbed a roll from my plate.

He chuckled. "I doubt you would, you only had eyes for Itachi then."

Her eyes widened and she gasped. "Hoshigaki-san? Is that really you? I hardly recognized you with all those old man lines on your face."

He glared and I laughed. "I think the tactful word is 'character lines.'"

"Doesn't matter what you call them, they're the same thing." She said matter-of-factly as she swiped some food from his plate. "If you're here, than Itachi must be too."

"No, he isn't," I said, snatching my roll back. "He's back in Konoha, I think. I don't know for sure."

"That's excellent," she grinned from ear to ear, showing off her fangs. "I'll have to look him up when I get back. We have a lot of catching up on to do."

"Just be more careful with him this time," Kisame said with a smirk. "Last time you two caught up on things he came back a little worse for wear."

Miko grinned deviously. "He didn't object at the time."

I blushed enough for both of them. I was fairly certain that I didn't want to know what they were talking about. I ate quickly, hoping to leave before I heard something else.

Miko stood up taking the glass from my hand and finished my drink. "I'm on a pretty tight deadline, so I must be on my way. Perhaps we'll meet again some other time." She rested a hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear. "Remember what I said last night Ritsuko. It's important that you read those scrolls. It could change the fate of this world."

"I will," I assured her, flinching at her closeness.

"Later Hoshigaki-san," she winked at him and then turned to leave.

"You two already met?" He asked curiously.

"Yes, she's the one who gave me the tip about the scrolls."

He looked startled and then thoughtful. "Then you should follow her advice. Her predictions are always right."

I looked over my shoulder in the direction Miko had left. I had the funny feeling that we were going to meet again. But whether for good or ill, fate would decide.


	15. Chapter 15: Punishment

The closer we got to Kirigakure, the more I thought about the past. What would have happened if we had never left? For one thing we would never have needed to send away Katsuye. When I thought of her, I thought about Jugo and his team. Had they succeeded? I clenched my hands into fists. I resented Akatsuki; Madara had ruined everything for us. Kisame noticed my darkening mood and reached out to squeeze my hand reassuringly. "We're almost home now."

Home. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. My only tie to Kirigakure was Kisame. I had been loyal to Mizukage Yagura-sama when I was in his service, but he turned out to be one of Madara's puppets. I shook my head in disagreement. "No Kisame, Kirigakure isn't home for me."

He looked a little surprised. "Did you get that attached to Sunagakure?"

"I do miss it," I admitted. "But it wasn't home." I squeezed his hand back. "Home is anywhere you are."

"You're on a role with these sappy lines," he groaned, but I could how pleased he was.

The sun was setting when we approached the city. Security was tight at the city gates, but we managed to slip through just the same. Progress was a bit slower once we got inside because there were so many people to avoid. Ironically we had no problems at my family's estate. In fact, the whole place was deserted. I should have known. The greedy nobles in Sunagakure felt they needed more protection once the war started. So they all relocated elsewhere, the same thing must have happened here.

Once we got inside the library, we opened the safe that contained the more sacred scrolls. It was obvious by the layers of dust on the safe and the rustiness of the lock that probably no one ever opened this. That peaked my curiosity even more. Once the lock was picked, we emptied out the contents. Thankfully none of the scrolls were sealed. Whoever placed them here didn't figure that anyone would be able to access them easily.

My hands shook slightly. Here was the moment of truth. The answer to my most pressing questions, my obscure connection to Madara, was in my hands. I quickly opened them before I chickened out.

"What do they say?" Kisame asked after several seconds of deathly silence.

I turned them every which way. "Some of them are creation myths regarding Izanami-no-Mikoto."

He frowned. "The goddess of creation and death?"

I nodded. "And the rest I can't read. Its written in another language, but there is a picture of Chikara sketched here." I handed it to him.

He looked closely at them. "I can't make it out either."

I bit my lip in thought. "I don't get it. So we know that somehow he needs Chikara. But what do I have to do with it? If he just needed that, he could just kill me to get it. And why does he need these scrolls? Everyone knows the story of Izanami-no-Mikoto."

Kisame looked more than a little uneasy, so I kept my mouth shut. But thoughts were racing through my mind. The answer must lie in the scrolls that I couldn't read. To be so close and yet so far from the truth was frustrating beyond belief. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently shook it. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded and gently rolled the scrolls up, placing them carefully in a special pouch. We traveled silently back to the hotel. Kisame may have tried to start a conversation during the trip but my thoughts were on the scrolls. There had to be something I was missing. I could feel it, but what was it? I eventually had to push it from my mind because I wasn't getting any closer to figuring out the mystery. I also wanted to spend as much time with Kisame as I could. There was no telling how much time we'd have together when we returned to the base.

Once we got back, Kisame went to deliver the scrolls to Madara. For once I was grateful that I wasn't the senior partner. I went back to my room. It would feel a little lonely being in my own room now, but we can't afford to let the others know about us. The key to our success laid in secrecy. I was surprised to find someone watching for me. It was Jugo. He looked nervous and was wringing his hands.

"Jugo, what's wrong?" I asked as I hurried to his side. "When did you get back?"

He looked up and tried to crack a smile but his face crumbled and he started crying. "I'm sorry Ritsuko. I really am."

It was then that I noticed the blood on his hands. I nearly fainted, but he caught me in time.

"Your hands," I said trembling.

He looked down at them. "Oh this? I just got a little scraped up during the mission."

A little scraped up? Those cuts were deep. If that had been my hands I wouldn't be able to use them. He cleared his throat. "I just thought you should hear it from me first."

"Hear what?" I asked. But I had the sinking suspicion that I already knew.

"We found Katsuye. She's with Madara-sama as we speak."

I went pale and blinked in shock. Then a thunderous look spread over my face. Even Jugo took a step back in fear. I turned on my heel and took off running. It was a little foolish because I didn't know where Madara resided. But that wouldn't stop me. I'd open each and every door until I found him. He had pushed me far enough, he wouldn't do the same to my daughter. At long last, I found him. He was sitting on the other side of the room, cradling my one year old daughter who was sleeping snuggly to his chest.

My blood boiled and I charged forward, Chikara in hand. He merely raised his head at my approach. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have remembered to not look him in the eye. I wasn't and was quickly trapped in his genjutsu. I ran into an invisible wall and was forced to continue watching him holding her.

From behind an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, his other hand rested on my sword hand, causing me to drop it. He gently shushed me. "Let her sleep. She needs her rest so she can grow big and strong."

I trembled with rage. "Let…her…go…"

"Or you'll do what?" He sneered. He was absolutely right. There was nothing I could do to beat him, even if I wasn't cursed. I was powerless and he knew it. In fact, he fairly gloated about it.

I looked on in despair as the real Madara gently held Katsuye. To be so close and yet so far from her. She was beautiful and I had missed her so much. It nearly broke my heart as well as my spirit. My knees trembled and gave out. He held me up and kept me close.

My voice quivered and I pleaded. "Please spare her, she's just a baby. Take me instead."

"I'm not going to kill her," he scoffed. "I could have done that by now. No, I need her alive. Besides, you're already spoken for."

"Why do you need her? Why did she have to be born?" I was half expecting an answer, but wasn't hold my breath.

"She's the back-up plan," he said plainly. "In the extremely rare case that I get defeated, she will be the ten-tailed jinchūriki in my place."

I gasped. "But how can she? She isn't an Uchiha. She doesn't even have the Sharingan."

"I've learned the hard way that it's much more difficult to control an Uchiha. I placed her under a genjutsu so she'll know what to do. Then it's only a simple matter of transferring my eyes to her after I've passed on." He shifted his grip on me so he could turn me to face him. "I doubt it'll ever come to that, but I like to plan for every eventuality."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked cautiously. He had never disclosed anything to me before.

He raised my hand and kissed it under his mask. "Who are you going to tell?" He asked as he rubbed his thumb on my Akatsuki ring. "This will be between us." He chuckled. "Don't you just love a good secret?"

I glared at him and snatched my hand back. "Don't take such liberties with me." I said contemptuously.

He grabbed me by the back of my neck and brought me closer to his face. I could actually see his eyes. I gasped as I realized that he now possessed the Rinnegan as well as the Sharingan. I never thought such a thing was possible. Now he was truly unstoppable.

"I will do as I please, and you'd do well to remember that," he growled. "Once I win this war, everything will be in my power. So give up on this idea of freedom. You will _never_ be free."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "But you haven't won yet."

"It's only a matter of time." He said flippantly. "Haven't you learned by now that I always get my way?"

I bit my tongue to keep from telling him off. I had promised Kisame that I would be more careful and I had definitely pushed it as it was. I still struggled against his tight grip on me. Being in the same room with him was revolting enough. But to be pressed up against him was sickening.

He relaxed his grip on my neck and moved his hand up to caress my hair. I shuddered at his touch. "Let me go!" I meant to sound firm, but my voice faltered.

He watched me for a few tense seconds. "You will learn your place. I warned you what would happen if you crossed me again. Now the only question is what punishment will be most effective."

I shuddered as he looked me up and down. He started to lift up his mask and I closed my eyes. I had no desire to see his face. To my horror, I felt his lips press against mine. "You are so beautiful. I could just take you for myself."

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Oh please no! Don't let him take advantage of me!

"But as enjoyable as that would be for me, I fear you'd recover too quickly from that." He slid the mask back in place and tapped his chin as if in thought. "Ah, I know just the thing."

My eyes were forced opened and his Sharingan activated to the Tsukuyomi level. "I will give away the ending prematurely. I will show you why I need you. And the best part is that there will be nothing you can do to prevent it. And remember Ritsuko, it'll be our little secret."

He let go of me and began to fade into darkness. Then the true nightmare began.


	16. Chapter 16: Sparring with Sasuke

When I finally came to, I was lying in my bed. I was so emotionally drained that I couldn't move. I was so over-whelmed with grief and despair, and even more so because he was right. I wouldn't be able to stop him when the time came. All my hopes for escape were dashed forever. I was meant to be here and with Madara. That is probably what hurt the most. He was right, I did belong to him. I loved Kisame, but I was fated to be with Madara. It made me sick. It was enough to nearly crush my soul and break my heart.

"Are you awake?" Kisame asked breathlessly. He rushed over to my side. I turned my head to look at him with an unseeing gaze. He was crying. "Oh Suko, what has he done to you?"

_Ruined my life, that's what_. I thought grimly. But then I remembered what Itachi said. _Remember that despite orders,_ _you have a choice_. Clarity returned to my eyes and I willed my dark emotions to disappear. I may be subject to Madara's will in the end; but I wasn't going to let that hold me back now. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of breaking me. I needed to remember that my personality is just as valid. I am still me and I am going to keep loving Kisame, body and soul. Because for me, he is my soul mate. I reached out to him and pulled him in for a long kiss.

"Oh Suko," he sniffed as I wiped away his tears with the sleeve of my Akatsuki robe. "What did you do to provoke him?"

"He has Katsuye. I lost my head and confronted him. I'm sorry that I broke my promise to you Kisame."

His eyes widened. "You did what?"

"What would you have done in my place?" I countered.

"Probably the same thing," he admitted. "But please be more careful. He could have killed you."

I shook my head grimly. "No, I'm still needed, and I fear for some time."

He furrowed his brow suspiciously. "How do you know that?"

"I can't tell you," I confessed. "How long did he have me trapped in that genjutsu?"

"Three days," he said. "I was afraid that you were going to die. Just like I nearly did." His eyes took on a haunted faraway look. "When he broke me."

I sat up and hugged him tightly. "No Kisame, you are not broken. You are the strongest person I know. You're no longer the monster you used to be. You changed for the better, and that takes courage."

"I can't take all the credit," he admitted as he nuzzled against my neck. "You were my motivation. If we had never met again, I probably would have stayed the beast I was. I'm so grateful to have you back in my life again."

I stiffened. "Someone is coming."

Kisame drew back to the other side of the room just in time for Sasuke to open the door. He looked me over with a bored expression, like I wasn't worth his time. The feeling was mutual. "So you're awake now. Grab your blade and walk with me."

I scowled but had to follow. He was technically my superior. Also I needed to follow the rules a little better. I didn't want to have another run-in with Madara. He led me to one of the training rooms and drew his sword. So it was just another training exercise. To my surprise, he pulled out a blind fold.

I grumbled as he tied it around my eyes. "Is this really necessary?"

"I will attack you the same as always, but now you must use your Chakra Sensing abilities to read my attacks."

"But you move too fast to be tracked," I protested.

"You'll have to find a way to," he said flatly as I heard him channeling Chidori into his sword. "Or you will die."

I activated the Mind's Eye of the Kagura and locked onto his chakra signals. They still nauseated me, but I had to push that aside. My life would depend on it. At first he appeared to be standing still, then he blurred out of focus. But not before I saw him shift ever so slightly to the left. I brought Chikara up to cover my left side, just in time to counter his attack. It was a lucky guess. I needed to concentrate harder and follow him through. It was a little hard to when you knew death was on the line.

Then it came to me. If it's hard to track something large, it should be easier to track something smaller. Maybe I just needed to narrow my view and then expand it slowly. The only downside would be that I wouldn't "see" his arms so I wouldn't know where he was swinging his arms. But I couldn't see him now; so it was no more of a risk.

I tuned his chakra signal down to the size of an apple. Suddenly I could see him. He was coming up from behind, moving too fast for me to block him this time. I dropped down to the ground, feeling the hiss of Chidori overhead.

He darted back and came around to my right. I smirked. The chakra signal was clear, I knew where he was. As we continued sparring, I slowly increased the amount of chakra until I could see him full-bodied. I pretended like I was still struggling for a while, letting his attacks get closer to their mark. Let him get cocky. Then when the moment was right, I caught him off guard and knocked him across the room. How satisfying it was to see him go flying.

He rose slowly to his feet and slowly approached. "Very good. It's a shame you didn't display that kind of intellect when you faced Madara-sama."

Ah, taunting me now was he? He was changing the game a bit, probably hoping to bait me so my attacks would be sloppy. I was determined to not let him get his way. "At least I had the courage to." I threw back. It was no secret that Madara was widely despised.

He pressed a fury of attacks that drove me back. "What you did wasn't courage. It was foolishness. Letting emotions blind your reason is the quickest way to defeat. I used that same tactic on the mission to capture your daughter."

I faltered a little when he mentioned Katsuye. He nearly scored a hit on my left side, just grazing it, but still effectively numbing it. One direct hit would paralyze me completely.

"I'll admit it was harder to find her than I thought," he said grudgingly. "I nearly despaired, but I knew that if anyone knew, it had to be that cheeky Naruto. He seems to have his hand in everything. It turns out that she was forced into a contract with the toads and was residing in Mount Myōboku. That explains why Madara-sama couldn't find her. Only those who are contracted can go there." I heard him chuckle maliciously. "You're just dying to know how I managed to get her, aren't you?"

I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer. I channeled my anger into Chikara, making the blade sizzle and pop even more with electricity. I didn't know if he was telling the truth or not. He could just be trying to break my concentration so that I would lose his signal. I pressed my attack with precision, never letting up.

"You're not even a little curious? You're no fun," he was clearly disappointed.

I kept my expression cool. "The methods it took to bring her here are irrelevant. If you're looking for someone to brag to, find someone else. I could really care less. Are we nearly done with this?" I said in a bored tone. "I've completed the exercise you asked of me."

He growled in frustration that he failed to get a rise out of me, but drew back and lowered his weapon. I did the same and removed the blind fold. I tossed it back to him and turned on my heel, walking away.

"Don't you know what Madara-sama's going to do to that child?" he spat out in one last attempt to anger me.

I bit down on my tongue until it started going numb. I barely managed to step out of the room without snapping back. Once I closed the door, I hardened my gloves and slammed my fist into the wall nearby, making a small crater in the concrete. "Yes Sensei," I whispered under my breath. "I do know." I rested my hand on the crater thoughtfully. Kisame and Katsuye were the most important things in the world to me. "And before I meet my end, I will find a way to free both of them."


	17. Chapter 17: Mission to Konoha

It was several weeks until Kisame and I were given an assignment. Thank goodness because it was rough staying apart. Maybe we over did it with avoiding each other, but we couldn't afford anyone catching on to our relationship. We had plenty to keep busy with, so the time passed well enough. I did a lot more training with Sasuke until even he had to admit I wasn't "half-bad." Seriously, would it kill him to admit that someone else, besides himself, could be talented?

When we were briefed on the new assignment, Madara excused Kisame so he could speak with me personally. As I took a closer look around the room I realized with dread that this was the same room where I last saw Katsuye. She must around 18 months now. How was she doing? It made my skin crawl to think of her in Madara's care.

Kisame left without protest, but I noticed how tense his shoulders were. He couldn't afford to show his feelings. Once he left, Madara rose from his seat and sat on the desk in front of me, much closer than was comfortable. I averted my gaze, attempting to look humble, but inside I was seething.

"What is it that you need, Madara-sama?" I nearly choked out his title. It was harder to pretend servitude than I imagined. There was just no faking my hatred of him.

"You can quit pretending. I know how much you despise me." He said resolutely. "You have a stronger will than I bargained for. I thought for sure that would break you. Now that you know what the future holds, I can't see why you still cling to hope."

"I don't," I said glaring up at him. "But I intend to live _my_ life as long as I'm allowed to."

"You'd rather cling to this mortal shell? You're such a fool." He leaned forward, cradling my face in his hands, his thumb gently outlining my lips and I shuddered at his touch. "We have such a long history together," he whispered. "Why would you give that up because of a few years in this life?"

I resisted the urge to push him away because I couldn't afford to get into more trouble. I didn't want him to think of a worse punishment. Though I doubt there could be a worse one. "It would be all I knew if you wouldn't force the issue. This doesn't have to happen."

"It's too late to back out now," he said roughly. "I will have a new world, and you will do your part to make that happen. Because as always," he chuckled grimly. "You don't have a choice."

He pulled back and folded his arms. "Now with that being said, I don't think I need to stress how imperative it is that you remain hidden from view. Your comrades are still looking for you and I can't afford to let you fall into their hands. I would have assigned Team Taka to this, but they are busy on other tasks."

I was touched to hear that I wasn't entirely forgotten by my friends. Still it couldn't be helped, orders were orders. "I will stay out of sight."

He considered this for a moment, as if he wasn't sure he believed me or not. "You are excused then."

I rose, gave him a terse bow, and hurried from the room. Kisame was waiting outside with a faint worried expression. "What did he want this time?"

"Just reminding me to stay out of sight," I said, telling a half-truth. Part of me wished that I wasn't bound by the curse so I could tell him what the future held. But at the same time, it would be useless. He couldn't stop it anymore than I could. Let him enjoy what little time he had left with me.

We got ready to leave for Konoha. I was secretly dreading it. I couldn't help but remember my "little" accident in the Land of Fire. I would have to be more careful this time. Kisame took the lead and we had a fun journey, talking and laughing along the way. It felt great to be ourselves again and to share the same room in every hotel.

Unfortunately, the closer we got to Konoha, the worse I felt. It was a slight nauseous feeling that never went away. One night I needed to get some fresh air so I slipped out while Kisame was sleeping. I considered leaving a note so he wouldn't worry, but I knew I wouldn't be gone long.

Remembering orders, I drew up the hood on my travel cloak and wrapped a scarf around my face, just under my nose. It wasn't a bad idea considering how winter was on its way. I wound my way through the main streets, not really sure where I wanted to go. Suddenly a familiar voice came through the hustle and bustle of conversations all around me. It made my heart stand still. Could it really be? I turned to the left and followed it until I found its source at a little ramen shop called Ichiraku. My eyes widened and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It was Kankuro. He was alive? But how? I was sure that he was dead.

He sat sideways in his stool, and was teasing Temari-san by pulling on her hair with his chopsticks. She kept swatting him away until she got really bugged. Then she kicked his stool out from under him. He waved his arms in a vain attempt to keep his balance, but gravity won this battle. He sprawled out at my feet. Forgetting myself, I reached out a hand to help him up.

"Sorry about that," he said, blushing furiously, just before looking me in the eye. His eyes widened too and I was afraid that he recognized me. He recovered quickly and bowed in gratitude. "Thank you again miss. Please forgive my forwardness, but you remind me of an old friend of mine. Are you hungry?" He gestured back to the shop. "My treat."

I hesitated. I was feeling a little hungry, but I couldn't risk my cover being blown. Equally tempting was a chance to spend time with Kankuro one last time. I nodded and took a seat next to him.

"I'm Kankuro, and this is my sister Temari. What's your name?"

"Midori," I said, using my travel alias. "I can see that you're shinobi of the sand."

"And proud of it," he said after he ordered for me. "Are you from around here?"

"No, I hail from Kirigakure."

He paused for a moment, and then wore a slightly sad smile. "I have a friend from there. Or rather I did."

Temari-san squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You still do, we'll get her back one day."

"Where did she go?" I asked, knowing full well that I knew they were talking about me.

His face took on a wretched expression. "I was supposed to protect her from Akatsuki. But I failed, nearly dying in the process." He absent-mindedly rubbed his chest, right where I remember Madara stabbing him. "I haven't seen her since then. I'll never forgive myself."

My heart went out to him. I wasn't romantically interested in him anymore, but he was still a good friend. I couldn't have him suffering over me anymore. "You mustn't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure she knows that you did your best. And if she's really your friend, she wouldn't hold it against you. I think she'd want you to be happy."

He wore a small half smile. "Perhaps."

My ramen was delivered and its mouth-watering aroma made my stomach growl. I started stuffing my mouth, relishing each and every bite. I finished it within seconds. It was then that I noticed them staring at me. I turned red with shame and hung my head.

"Would you like seconds?" Kankuro politely offered.

"No, no!" I shook my head fiercely. "Thank you, but no." I realized with horror that some of my amethyst hair escaped from my hood. I quickly tucked it in, but not before Kankuro noticed it. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"I must be on my way, thanks again for dinner." I bowed my head and moved to stand up.

Kankuro caught me by the scarf and pulled. I turned before he could see my face and sprinted away. He made to follow after me, but Temari stopped him.

"It's Ritsuko, Temari! Hurry, she's getting away!"

"Think about it, you idiot. Temari-san scoffed. "If it really had been her, she would have just said so."

I was now too far away to hear his reply, but he didn't pursue me. Just to be safe I kept going. I ran until my body couldn't go any farther. I stopped to catch my breath, taking in lungfuls of air until I coughed. That was close. Much too close. They nearly discovered my secret. There would have been hell to pay then. Once my heart reached a steady beat, I looked around. I didn't recognize this part of town. I realized with dread that not only was I gone longer than I planned, but I was lost too. I had to find a way to get back before Kisame woke up, but how?

"Ritsuko? What are you doing here?"

I turned to see Miko coming up the street, her hands in her pockets. We stood and stared at each other. She had a white glowing aura about her. I hadn't noticed it before. But now I knew who she really was, a messenger of Inari.


	18. Chapter 18: Yusei

She fixed me with a keen glaze. "So you know who I am now. You must have awakened."

"Not fully," I said. "The seal hasn't been broken yet."

"Then how have you come to know?" she asked seriously.

I lowered my eyes and shuddered at the memory. "Madara showed me the future which caused my eyes to be opened. Is there anyway I can avoid it from happening further?"

She considered me for a moment. "No. No there is not."

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I hastily wiped them away. "So all hope is lost then."

She shook her head and wore a small smile. "Far from it. This is the best chance the world has ever had."

"Are you in league with Madara too?" I asked incredulously.

She gave me an icy glare. "Never! What you are forgetting is that you were not shown the future. That is not given for mortals to know. You were in a genjutsu. You only saw what he wanted you to see. You were shown the future he wanted to come to pass."

"So there is a chance I can escape this fate?" I asked, feeling hope stir in me like never before. So now there was a chance that Kisame and I could still be together!

She grinned from ear to ear and she nodded. "You will be able to live the life you want."

"How?" I pressed. "How can I stop Madara?"

She lowered her gaze and wore a sly smile. "You'll find the answer inside you."

"What about Kisame and Katsuye?" I asked. "Is there any way I can free them before the ceremony?"

She looked back into my eyes. "Kisame needs to be there. You saw him in the genjutsu. Madara needs his power to break your seal. It has to happen; you'll need her if you're going to defeat Madara. But there is something I can do about Katsuye, just leave it to me."

"What can you do?" I asked. "I have no idea where she is being held, but I wouldn't doubt that it's somewhere with high security."

"Never you fear," she said with a wink as she tapped me on the nose. "As a messenger there is no place I can't get into. But in exchange, I need to ask a favor of you."

"Anything, just name it."

For the first time, she looked uncomfortable and shifted her feet. "I could really use some moral support. I'm going to see Itachi and I'd like you to come with me."

"I would, but I can't," I said dejectedly. "I'm not supposed to be seen."

"You're under my protection; Madara won't see your movements as long as we're together."

I smiled. "Then just led the way. You haven't seen Itachi before now?"

"Oh I have," she said as she took the lead. "I wanted to make sure we still had a connection before I…" her voice faltered.

"You and Itachi used to date?" I asked, sensitive that she needed a distraction.

She nodded. "Yes, he is very dear to me. I've watched over several people in my lifetime, but never have I connected so intimately with any of them. I must confess that he is very special to me." She turned into a side street. "We need to make a detour first, if you don't mind just waiting."

I hung back as she knocked on the door of an apartment. A tall shinobi with shocking white hair, a partial face mask covering his mouth, and his headband covering one eye answered the door. "Ah, Miko. It's time already? It seems a little early."

"Tonight's the night Kakashi-san. I can't afford to be late."

He nodded. "Best of luck, lemme know how it goes." He looked over his shoulder. "Yusei-kun, your mother is here."

A little boy, no older than three or four came up behind Kakashi, hugging him around the leg. I felt my heart skip a beat. Except for the fact that he had fox ears and a tail, he was the spitting image of Itachi.

After saying goodbye to Kakashi, Miko gathered Yusei in her arms and walked back over to me.

"This is Itachi's son?" I asked; trying to not sound too shocked. "He never mentioned having-"

She heaved a heavy sigh. "It's because he doesn't know yet." She stroked his hair as he started to fall asleep. "And now that I know we can have a future together, its time to let him know. Will you please help me?" She asked with pleading eyes.

I squeezed her arm reassuringly. "Of course."

We walked the rest of the way in silence, each one thinking our own thoughts. Once we got to the doorstep, Miko got cold feet. She grabbed my arm as I was about to knock on the door. "I can't do this. What if he totally freaks out? What if he hates me for not telling him before? What if he doesn't like Yusei? What if-"

I clamped a hand over her mouth and shushed her. "Give Itachi some credit. Of course this news is going to shock him. But he's a gentleman; he won't abandon you or Yusei."

She quieted down, but still looked hesitant. "Tell you what," I said, lowering my hand. "Why don't I go in first, and you can come in when you're ready?"

She nodded and drew out of sight of the door before I knocked. Itachi opened it and looked surprised to see me. "Ritsuko?"

"No one is supposed to know I'm here," I said, hurrying inside the door. "But I couldn't resist a quick visit."

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he took a seat by the fireplace. He noticed the Akatsuki ring on my hand. "I see you're still a member. Who are you partnered with this time?"

"Kisame." I said simply. He cocked his head curiously to the side, and I couldn't help but look away and blush.

"I take it that you two are together again?" My blush deepened and he smiled. "I see. Well, congratulations to the both of you. You will give him my regards, won't you?"

I nodded.

"I'm glad you're here Ritsuko," he said. "I need someone to confide in. Perhaps you have time to lend a listening ear?"

I took a seat in the chair opposite him. "Of course. What's wrong?"

He hugged his knees to his chest, and bit his lip. It was weird. I had never seen Itachi so concerned. "I have a very special girl that is dear to me…"

"Miko Hayashi?" I asked.

He looked up in surprise. "You know her?"

"Only in passing," I said. "It was a while ago. She just mentioned knowing you."

He nodded. "Well, she's been visiting me fairly regularly and it's like we've never parted. She's still captured my heart and soul and I don't have the courage to pass on. I…I want to stay here with her."

"Then what is the problem?"

"I think she's uncomfortable with the fact that I'm not…alive. I may not be under the jutsu that controls the dead, but that doesn't change the fact that I am dead. She seems to enjoy my company, but I can tell that there is something holding her back. Could it be that she doesn't know how to tell me how uneasy my existence makes her? Or that she would rather be with someone she could have a future with?" He sighed and stretched out his legs, slouching too far back in his chair. "I love her so much Ritsuko and I don't want to let her go. But above all I want her to be happy."

"Itachi, I think you have it all wrong." I said.

Before I could continue on, we heard a squeak of protest before the door cracked open. Yusei bounded into the room and jumped into his lap. "I'm Yusei. Are you my daddy?"

Itachi gripped the sides of the armchair and stared with super wide eyes, blood draining from his face. Yusei stood up on his lap, holding onto his shoulders and staring right back at him. "Well, are you?"

It was hard to know what was running through Itachi's mind, but surely he noticed the strong resemblance. But he suddenly did something I never expected. He fainted. The great Itachi Uchiha fainted dead away.

"Well, so much for easing him into the news," Miko said in exasperation as she came in and pulled Yusei off of him. Itachi slipped out of the chair and fell onto the floor, still unconscious. He looked so ridiculous that I had to cover a giggle with my hand.

Miko laughed too. "You can go ahead and laugh. I didn't know what to expect, but it was something more manly than fainting."

"Shouldn't we wake him up?" I asked.

"Wake him up! Wake him up!" Yusei said excitedly, grabbing a water pitcher from side table by the chair and dumping the contents all over Itachi. He gasped and somehow managed to jump up from a lying position to land on his feet in two seconds. He coughed on the water that had gone up his nose and shivered uncontrollably. Yusei wrapped his arms around Itachi's waist and squeezed him as he sang in a sing-song voice. "Daddy! Daddy! You look like me, you must be!"

Itachi picked him up and held him out so he could look him all over again. At least this time he had color back in his face, though he didn't look any less surprised. Yusei laughed and reached out to pull his long bangs.

"Itachi, I can explain." Miko said, stepping towards them.

He looked startled to see her, and then he realized I was still there too. He looked from me to Miko to Yusei before speaking. "This…this is…my…I mean our…"

Miko pulled Yusei away again and put him on the floor before wrapping her arms around Itachi. "Yes, he is our son."

Itachi was still spell-bound, unaware that Miko was even touching him. I snapped my fingers. "Itachi!"

He snapped to attention, looked down at Miko and hugged her back.

"I wanted to tell you before Itachi. I just didn't know how to." She asked fearfully. "You died shortly before he was born. I had no way of telling you. And even now I wasn't sure how you'd take it. You're not angry are you?"

He spun her around laughing before setting her back down with a kiss. "No, of course I'm not angry with you, either of you! Why would I be? I'm just so relieved that you still want to be with me. I love you so much Miko that will never change."

Yusei tugged on both of them and they laughed. Itachi scooping him up in his arms and the three of them hugged. I was effectively forgotten, and it was just as well. I needed to be getting back to Kisame. I left the happy trio without a backward glance, secretly envying them their happiness.


	19. Chapter 19: Failure

It was sunrise before I got back to the hotel. Kisame looked ready to tear the room apart when I got through the door. He ran up to me and grabbed me hard by the arms. I winced at the pressure. "Where have you been?" He bellowed. "I have been worried-"

"Unnecessarily!" I snapped as I shook him off and turned away towards the bathroom. Suddenly my nausea felt worse. I should have known better than to eat such spicy ramen on an upset stomach. "I just went out for a walk and got lost. It's nothing to worry about."

"You get back here!" He called after me, but I slammed the door in his face. After getting sick a few times, my stomach felt much better but I felt weaker. I curled up on the floor, the cool tiles felt strangely refreshing against my skin. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. I must be getting the flu. Perhaps I wasn't as bundled up last night as I should have been.

Kisame pounded on the door. "Ritsuko, come out here! We're not finished!"

"Yes we are, so shut up and leave me alone!" I growled back. I could hear him throwing things around but I could care less. I thought about Kankuro and Itachi. It wasn't fair that Kankuro was suffering because of me. I wished that I could take away his pain. Miko and Itachi had their own family and could enjoy it. Kisame, Katsuye, and I haven't been together since she was a newborn. It just wasn't fair. I suddenly started to cry, and not just a little, I'm talking water-falls.

It got really quiet outside for a minute. Kisame poked his head in. "Suko?" He asked quietly. "Are you feeling sick?"

"What gave it away?" I asked sarcastically. "The fact that I haven't managed to keep anything in my stomach for a week now, that I can't sleep, or that I'm too weak to get off the floor? Take your pick, I've got plenty more."

He gently picked me up off the floor and carried me back to bed, carefully avoiding the mess he had just made. He tucked me in and felt my forehead. "There doesn't appear to be a fever yet. Should I send for a doctor anyway?"

"We can't afford the attention," I said. "Its probably just a little cold I got from last night. It was quite chilly."

"What were you doing out anyway?" He asked as he pulled up a chair by my side.

I was quiet for some time. "I saw Kankuro."

His eyes widened. "You mean…he survived?"

I nodded. "Incredible, I know."

Kisame lowered his head in thought. "You were going to marry him right? Now that you know he's alive…do you…?"

"Don't be stupid Kisame." I rolled my eyes. "If I still wanted to be with him, I would have run away with him by now."

He frowned in concern. "Did he recognize you?"

"Yes, I think he did," I confessed. "But I was able to get away. It was a very close call though. Hopefully Madara won't find out about it. He particularly stressed that I stay out of sight."

"Then you better be extra careful," he warned. "Please don't disobey him this time."

"I'm trying, I'm trying," I said, feeling my eyelids close against my will. It was just very hard to resist the fluffy pillows and comfortable mattress. "Kisame…?" I murmured, struggling to stay awake.

He gave me a gentle kiss. "We can talk later. Catch up on some sleep while…I clean up this mess…" he finished grudgingly.

I fell asleep before he sat up.

It was night time when I woke up. Kisame was sitting at a desk with his feet propped on it, looking over papers as he thoughtfully chewed on a pencil. He glanced over at me as I stirred. "Are you feeling any better?"

I sat up and stretched. "Yes, a little bit."

"Good," he said as he exchanged some papers for new ones. "Come over here. We need to talk about this mission."

I carefully climbed out of bed, walked over, and sat on his lap. "What seems to be the trouble?" I asked as I took the papers from his hand.

"We're supposed to find Konoha's war supply storehouses and destroy them. They are currently the largest force in the war."

I nodded in thought. "So basically his tactic is to weaken them by wiping out their supplies. I really hate this," I said, throwing the papers to the floor. "I hate the idea of working against my old comrades. I'm not really sure that I can-" My voice cut out as an unseen grip had me by the throat. It was the curse again. Why could I never remember to shut my mouth?

Kisame gave me a sympathetic look and rubbed my back. "I know; why don't I just handle this mission? It's simple enough and you're just starting to feel better. I wouldn't want you to get any worse."

I giggled. "So you're telling me that Akatsuki has a sick day option? Well, if I had known that, I would have called in more often."

"Ha, ha," he said dryly. "But seriously, what do you think?"

I rested my head against his shoulder and sighed. "You know what? I think I'll take you up on that offer."

He raised an eyebrow. "Wow, you really _are_ sick! To agree without protest, that's never happened before."

I scowled. "Oh shut up, I don't protest to everything you say."

There was a moment of silence before we both started cracking up. We laughed so hard that the chair toppled over backward and we fell to the floor. We lay side by side just laughing like fools.

"Oh that was fun!" He said as we settled down. He reached out to stroke my cheek. "We should do that more often."

I propped myself up on my elbows and grinned. "Whatever you say Kisame. But if we're going to keep doing this, we're going to need something softer to land on."

He laughed again, pulled me back down and gave me a noogie. "Oh you're so hilarious Suko," he said sarcastically.

"But seriously, we need to go over the strategy." I said as I pulled away and stood up, brushing dust from my clothes. "I want to stay here, but you'll need my Charka Sensing ability to sense others. How would we do that?"

"It's simple," he said. "Your range has increased right? I'll leave a water clone here to protect you, and you can pass on whatever message you need to ok?"

I helped him to his feet and pulled him in for a kiss. "Please be safe."

All of a sudden the door burst open and smoke pellets filled the room. I reached out to find Kisame but was abruptly grabbed around the waist and pulled out of the room. I turned to talk to him when I realized with horror that it wasn't Kisame who saved me. It was Kankuro.

"Oh Ritsuko!" He said hugging me tightly. "You're safe! Don't worry; we'll take care of him."

"No, you've got it all wrong! Don't hurt him!" I turned to hear the sound of breaking glass and the sound of Kisame calling out for me. I pushed Kankuro away and raced back into the room and looked out the window. But I couldn't see him anywhere. That didn't make sense, and apparently it didn't to the shinobi in the streets either. It was like Kisame had suddenly disappeared.

Kankuro came up behind me. "Ritsuko, what's wrong? Didn't you want to be saved?"

"Oh course! But Kisame isn't my enemy," I said as I turned back to him.

"Kisame?" He was startled for a moment, and then a hard look came over him. "You two…are back together…aren't you?"

"Yes Kankuro, and it's by my free will and choice." I said before muttering under my breath. "What's left of it."

He looked crushed and turned his back to me. "You've moved on without me and here I've faithfully waited for nearly two years."

I flinched at the bitterness of his words. I deserved it, but it didn't lessen the pain. "I'm sorry Kankuro. I never meant to hurt you."

A sudden chill came through the air that made my skin crawl. I felt the room spinning. I was being summoned by Madara. I couldn't tell if that came as good news at this point. Kankuro realized what was going on and he reached out to grab me, but his hand went right through me.

"Please forget me Kankuro and be happy," I said before I faded out completely.

I reappeared at the base in front of Madara, and I noticed that Kisame was just leaving the room. So that's what happened to him. Madara grabbed me by the collar, pulling me close. "You're almost more trouble than you're worth!" He snarled. "What part of 'stay out of sight' did you not understand?"

I kept my mouth shut. Any explanation would sound like an excuse, and I was already in big trouble. He continued fuming and I never said a word.

"You've ruined this mission! Now security will be too tighter than ever before, Konoha is lost to us!"

_Thank goodness for that_, I thought cheerfully but kept my expression neutral.

"And to make matters worse, the baby is gone!" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Did you have something to do with that as well?"

"How could I Madara-sama when I gone was with Hoshigaki-san?" I tried to sound rational, but it came off a little cheeky.

He apparently thought so to because he slapped me across the face. "We are getting closer to the main event, and I can't risk you messing things up again. So until then, your movements will be restricted. Hoshigaki has been instructed to guard you. If he lets you out of sight there will be trouble. Do you understand me _this_ time?"

I nodded.

He let go and shoved me towards the door. "Then get out of my sight!"

That was one order I was all too happy to obey.


	20. Chapter 20: Make the Best of it

I was awakened with a kiss one morning. I opened my eyes to see Kisame beside lying me. I snuggled closer with a smile. "You know, as far as punishments go, this has been by far the best."

He chuckled as he held me close. "I agree. It's been a lot of fun being together. But…"

I looked up at him. "What is it?"

He frowned in thought. "Don't you get the strange feeling that something is about to happen?"

I thought about it. The atmosphere did seem a little more tense than usual around the base these past few weeks. I thought about what Madara had said, _We're getting closer to the main event._ I wondered what kind of preparation it would take, and if the timing would be essential. The memory of the ceremony seared my mind and I shivered involuntarily, holding onto him tightly. Miko had said everything would be alright, that I would win…but how? What if I wasn't strong enough? What if…I lost?

"Suko, you know something about this, don't you?" He asked softly.

"Yes, I do." I whispered. "The change has to do with me."

"Its something bad, isn't it?" His voice trembled as he squeezed tighter. "Is there nothing I can do to prevent it?"

"It's something that has to happen."

"I won't give you up," he said fiercely. "There is nothing I won't do to protect you."

I kissed his cheek and grinned. "I'm counting on it. Now, why don't we get ready for the day? I'm just itching to kick your butt with Chikara. I've nearly perfected that new technique. "

"Oh you're good," he agreed as he playfully pushed me out of bed. "But never as good as me!"

"You are _sooo_ going down today!" I laughed as I tackled him when he walked by. We were playfully wrestling when I picked up on Sasuke's chakra signal. We quickly separated and were getting dressed when he opened the door. Seriously, why couldn't he just knock?

His hair was more disheveled than usual and he looked even grumpier. He must have recently woken up too.

"Is there something you need?" I asked with an arched brow.

"You knew Itachi." He said curtly. "Didn't you?"

"Well yes. Yes I did," I said, a little surprised. "We used to be partners."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He glared.

"You never asked," I said simply as I sat on the bed to pull on my striped socks. "It didn't seem like relevant information that you needed to know."

"He is relevant to me!" He snapped, marching up to me. "What else are you hiding?"

I smirked. "Plenty of things Sasuke-Sensei. We are not comrades or even friends. I have no reason to tell you everything."

He looked ready to explode when Kisame rested a firm hand on his shoulder. "What business do you have here?" He asked gruffly. "Make it quick and get out."

"Forget it," he hissed, roughly brushing him off and storming out of the room.

"He's such a brat," Kisame scowled. "He's nothing like Itachi. I'm surprised they're even related."

"Itachi can be annoying in his own way." I said as I reached under the bed to get one of my boots. "It must be an Uchiha thing to make absolutely no sense."

He considered this as he looked at door. "They both have suffered more than anyone I know. Did you know that Sasuke never realized that Itachi loved him until after he killed him?"

"Doesn't surprise me," I huffed. "He can't see beyond himself. Well, his moodiness isn't going to bring me down. C'mon let's get something to eat."

As we were walking down the hall we ran into Madara. I was startled for a moment. In all the times I've walked these halls, I'd never seen him. He stopped by Kisame and whispered something I couldn't hear. A look of uncertainty crossed Kisame's face, but he nodded all the same. Madara turned to look at me for a long while. I held my breath, not sure what to expect. I flinched as he reached out for me with one hand. He gently touched my hair and let it slip through his fingers. Chuckling grimly, he left without a word.

When he was out of sight, I punched another crater into the wall. "I wish he would quit doing that! For once I'd like to-" I caught myself and punched the wall again in frustration that I couldn't say what I really wanted to. Stupid curse. Wait a minute. Why wasn't Kisame telling me to calm down? He was always telling me to watch my actions. I looked back at him.

Kisame watched me sadly with a devastated expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, drawing closer.

"Nothing," he said somberly before moving on. I hurried after him, but not amount of persuasion could get him to open up. A dark cloud hovered over us for the rest of the day. Nothing I did could cheer him up. He was silent and in a dark broody mood. Now I hated Madara more than ever. Why did he have to ruin what little I had time I had left?

The mood hadn't lifted even as we got ready for bed. I was just brushing out my hair when I felt a hand stop me. I looked over my shoulder to see him standing over me. He took the brush out of my hand and pulled me to my feet. He held my hands and looked down tenderly at me, still a little sad. He let go of one of my hands and rested it on my cheek. "I love you so much. I'm going to miss you."

This startled me. "Miss me? Why? Where are you going?"

He looked away. "You do realize that I am only here because of the Impure World Resurrection Jutsu, don't you?"

I was confused. "Of course I do, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Madara said that after our next assignment that he has no further use for me. He'll let me go then." His face crumbled and he pulled me into a tight hug. "I don't want to leave you! Not when we're finally together."

It was suddenly hard to breath, and not because of his crushing embrace. In all of my problems, I had never stopped to consider that one day the jutsu that kept him in our world would be lifted. Why had I never realized that before now? I felt like crying. So much was happening beyond our control. What would we do now? I wiped his tears away and gave him a long kiss. "Then let's make the most of our time together."

He smiled appreciatively. "So now you're the optimist?"

I grinned. "That's not such a bad thing, is it?"

He shook his head as he sat on the bed and pulled me onto his lap. "No it isn't."

We were both silent for some time.

"I must confess that in a lot of ways I haven't really changed," I sighed. "I still have a hard time telling you how I feel."

"Its ok," he said as he kissed my shoulder. "You show it often."

"But you need to hear it too," I said, lifting his chin so he could look me in the eye. "I love you Kisame, so very much. And if you'll forgive the sappiness of this, you are my soul mate."

He tried to hold back a laugh, and failed miserably. "Seriously, where do you come up with these corny lines?"

I hopped off his lap and pushed him back against the pillows. "And you wonder why I never say anything," I scowled as I stood beside the bed with my arms folded across my chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said hurriedly as he sat up and grabbed my wrist when I started to walk away. "It's just…" he hesitated. "I guess it's kind of hard to say it sometimes. At least you try to. I shouldn't make fun of you for that."

I knelt at his feet, resting my elbows on his knees. "What is so hard for you to say?"

He kissed the top of my head. "I love you Ritsuko, more than life itself. I have never felt this way about anyone else. My only regret…" he thought about it for a moment. "Well, to be honest, I have several of them. But the one that applies to you is this. I wish I had told you how I felt about you much sooner. If you hadn't kissed me then, I'm not sure I ever would have worked up the courage to. I'll be forever grateful that you did." He chuckled and looked away thoughtfully. "It's pretty pathetic huh? That an excellent shinobi who stared death in the face on several daring missions…couldn't tell a girl he loved how much she meant to him?"

"When did you first know that you loved me?" I asked inquisitively.

"When you left on your first mission."

I made a face. "When I was thirteen? Wow, you're such a cradle-robber!"

He chuckled. "Now you understand my hesitation! I had never really though of it before until you left home. I was just so used to you being there. But I think it was more than that. I guess I was drawn to your bold and fiery spirit as well as your incredible talent."

I smirked seductively. "And here I thought it was because of my good looks."

"Those too," he grinned as he pushed back and stretched out on the bed. I joined him, snuggling against his side and resting my head on his chest. "But you're more than just a beautiful girl. You have a beautiful soul to match." He sighed wearily. "What am I going to do without you?"

"Now enough of those gloomy thoughts!" I scolded as I gently pinched his arm. "We were going to make the best of things remember?"

"You're right," he said rolling onto his side so he could face me. "So let's get started, shall we?" He asked before giving me a passionate kiss.

"That's more like it," I grinned.


	21. Chapter 21: Goddess Awakens

During the night, I woke up screaming. I sat upright, the blankets twisted around my legs and my heart racing. I felt out of breath and struggled to keep from hyperventilating. What had just happened? It wasn't a nightmare, more like the feeling that something was wrong right here, right now. I turned to wake Kisame, only to find that he wasn't there. His clothes weren't on the floor and his Akatsuki cloak wasn't on the back of his chair either. My heart dropped. Where was he? While most of my worry was about him, a small part reminded that Madara was going to kill me if we were separated. I had to find him before Madara found out. I threw some clothes on and rushed out the door, looking right and left. No one else stirred in the dimly-lit hallway.

Maybe he was doing some late night training, so I turned towards the training grounds. As I rounded the corner, I ran into someone. It was Madara, the last person I wanted to see. He grabbed me by the elbows as I started to fall back.

"It's not what you think!" I hurriedly explained. "I was looking for Kisame. I'm staying out of trouble, I swear!"

"Never mind that." He said firmly. "It's time."

"Time? Time for what?" I asked stupidly. I wasn't thinking too clearly through my panic.

"Time for the main event," he said gravely.

I went white and my legs gave out. He let me drop and walked over me. "Don't make me carry you."

"Wait please!" I called out. He stopped, looking over his shoulder. "Can't I at least say goodbye?"

"To who? You have no friends here," he said, walking on. "Everything has been prepared; the time to act is now."

I forced myself to my feet and followed him, hardening my heart so that I wouldn't collapse into tears. I had known for months that this was coming, and yet it never felt real until now. While it hurt that I wouldn't get to say good-bye to Kisame, at least we had had a chance to set the record straight between us. Now no matter what happened, win or lose, I had no regrets concerning him.

Madara showed me into a large well-lit room with white walls and no decoration except to the floor in the center of the room. Kisame stood right where I remembered him. I should have known what was going on once I knew he was missing. He looked at me curiously, still ignorant of his role to be. I looked away, the longer he didn't know, the better off he was.

There were several sealing marks on the floor; those foreign markings that would seal away my very soul, letting her take over me. I stood in the very center of the markings, facing Madara.

"Can I trust you to stay still?" He asked dryly. "Or will you need to be chained?"

I stuck out my chin defiantly. "There is no need for that."

Kisame started to look nervous. "What is she doing there? Shouldn't she be helping with the sealing?"

"No, she is the one being sealed."

Kisame's eyes widened in disbelief. "Sealed? Why? She isn't a jinchuriki."

"No, she's even more powerful," he sounded strangely satisfied as he turned to explain to Kisame. "She is the reincarnation of Izanami-no-Mikoto, the goddess of creation and death."

"But that can't be," he said slowly, looking at me in a new light. "She's a member of the royal family in Kirigakure."

"All royalty descends from the gods…or are themselves." He explained causally. "The proof is in her ability to wield Chikara. The very blade that the goddess used to kill a thousand people a day, her last threat to her beloved husband for abandoning her in the spirit world."

"You knew this?" Kisame asked me incredulously.

I shook my head. "Not until he told me, but I had heard the stories about Chikara. I just figured that was all they were."

"And now the time has come for you to use your weapon as it was intended," Madara said as he tossed his cloak aside. "And join me, your husband, in creating a new world."

Kisame looked a strange mix between horror, revulsion, and anger.

"Only historically speaking," I explained as I glared at Madara. "He is the reincarnation of Izanagi-no-Mikoto. She may love him, but I hate his guts."

Kisame looked at both of us, not really sure he believed either one of us. It certainly was a lot to take in. I smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry Kisame, but he means to seal me away and bring her out. And when he does that…well…there goes the world as we know it."

"And you're going to give up?" He was getting frustrated. "Just like that?"

I looked at him with forlorn eyes. "What can I do? He's stronger than me. This isn't a fight I can win."

"Hoshigaki, it's time." Madara said as he activated the curse, forcing Kisame into position. Both formed the necessary hand signals and called out. "Summoning: Celestial Awakening!"

The symbols on the floor glowed under my feet and I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest that penetrated my soul. As it dug deep, reaching my very essence, I fell to my knees. It had been one thing to watch it in a genjutsu, but to actually experience it was something else entirely. The seal that held her back shattered and I could feel my mind slipping away, my very personality diminishing in her presence. She was eagerly eating away at me, growing strong in spite of me. I could feel some of her emotions, as we were still two halves sharing the same whole. I could sense how long she had been waiting for this, her one chance to reunite with her husband. Was her love for him as strong as mine was for Kisame? I could also feel her desire to right the wrongs in the world. I knew in an instant that she would agree with Madara's ideals, but not his methods.

She was gaining ground over me, the pain was crippling now. I clawed at the ground, desperate to not scream. I couldn't bear to look at Kisame, but I could just imagine his heart break at being complicit in this sealing ceremony. I racked what was left of my mind to think of a way out of this. _You'll find the answer inside you_, Miko had said. But what did it mean? I was powerless against Madara, and even more so now that it was combined with Kisame's nearly limitless power. I could practically hear her laughing in triumph as I kept slipping away. Her divine strength was over-whelming. Please don't let it end like this! I had nearly faded away for good; I was desperate to cling to something.

It was then that I felt something stirring in my stomach. A presence there that I had been unaware of before. Whatever it was, it felt friendly so I clung to it…so to speak. It was strange. This presence had traces of Kisame and my chakra signals…as well as a unique one. I realized with surprise that I was pregnant. Pregnant? When did this happen? So that is what Miko meant when she lowered her gaze. She wasn't look away; she was looking at my stomach. She knew then that I was expecting. So the answer inside me wasn't something I would know. It was our child. It was my last tie to my old self.

But now Izanami-no-Mikoto had the control she craved. It was like an out-of-body experience to watch myself slowly stand up, no longer in agony. She undid my intricate loops, letting my hair fall free. She laughed, in a different voice than mine. "Oh sweet freedom!"

She was cool and collected, but slightly arrogant, confident in her power. Absolutely nothing like me.

Madara approached me, her, us? Whatever! It was too confusing to sort out. He threw off his mask, pulled me into his arms, and gave her a long passionate kiss. I nearly threw up on the inside. If she was going to be in control of my body, at least she could have changed my image. It was terrible to see my form making out with Madara. It was going to scar me for the rest of my life…however long that was.

"Oh my love," he murmured as he stroked my cheek.

"I never thought you'd find me again," she said. "I've missed you so."

"The mortals have ruined this world; it is time to start a new one." He handed her Chikara. "Will you help me?"

As she put her hand on the hilt, the sword glowed a deep blood red color. Blood-curling screams emanated from it at first before becoming deathly silent. It was the cries of her victims in the past. She took a few practice swings and smiled coolly. "Chikara is back to her old self."

"You can't get away with this!" Kisame growled. "You can't tell me that Ritsuko is gone! That can't be!"

Izanami-no-Mikoto looked down at him. "Ah yes, the secret lover. Ritsuko did love you. But she is gone." She pointed the massive blade at him. "I admire your strong heart and respect your love for her, but you mortals have made a mess of this world. I agree with my husband, it is time to start again."

No! No! She couldn't do that! I couldn't let her! Oh what could I do? I was barely here, just a flicking ember in the massive fire of her personality. Suddenly a silver fox appeared right between her and Kisame, its fur on end and snarling.

She and Madara took a step back. For the first time she looked surprised, but it was a fleeting moment. "A messenger of Inari? Why am I not surprised? He always had a soft spot for humans. I mean you no disrespect, but if you do not stand down, I will kill you as well as the mortal."

She raised her blade to strike them. The fox turned to bite Kisame's sleeve and move him out of harms way. She made a giant crater in the ground where they had been. She rounded on them, ready to attack again. Madara was content to watch, a sly smile on his face. Ever since the fox had arrived, I felt strength coming back to me. I stretched it and pushed back her spirit a little bit at a time. She kept attacking, slashing this way and that. Kisame called on his water jutsus to trap her, but she cut through every one of them. Only the silver fox scored hits, but they were nothing more than glancing blows.

I kept gathering more and more strength until finally Izanami-no-Mikoto noticed it. She grabbed at her side and gasped. "She's a stubborn one."

"You mean she's still in there?" Madara asked in surprise. "How?"

I kept expanding and pushing through until I no longer needed the baby's help. She dropped to her knee, gasping in pain. "She has a tie to this world still. Until it is removed, she will never be gone." Her hand moved to her stomach and her eyes widened in revelation. "Ritsuko is pregnant."

"WHAT?" Both Kisame and Madara screamed.

She fell back, sprawled out on the floor. Chikara clattered beside her. She was gasping for air. I had the advantage now and pushed harder. I meant no disrespect for the goddess, but I deserved the right to live.

"Izanami! You will have to kill the child!" Madara said through his teeth. "Don't let her win, if she does, you won't be able to come back in this lifetime!"

She smiled sadly at him. "You know I cannot do that. Forgive me Izanagi. I would like nothing more than to help you create our new world, but this child is not fully formed and I cannot go against creation. To do so would be to go against myself. This was meant to happen and is a sign that we must wait a little longer. Do not worry, our chance will come again. Do not forget me, my love."

At long last, she melted back into my subconscious and I emerged screaming. What a relief to hear my own voice again. But the battle wasn't over yet. Madara grabbed me by the throat and raised me up. "You little whore!" He pressed a kunai against my stomach, ready to pierce it. "I will kill you so she can be reborn, but not before I kill the baby. You took away the most precious thing to me, so I'm returning the favor."

"You do," Kisame said in a murderous tone, his eyes taking on a blood-thirsty look. "And I will rip you apart with my bare hands!"


	22. Chapter 22: The Deal

Madara considered this for a moment. "You know what?" He purred malevolently as he let me fall to the ground and kicked me aside. "It does seem rather fitting to deal with you first. I have no doubt that you are the father and therefore are just as responsible!"

He made two chakra blades appear from each sleeve and slowly approached him. There was no reason to rush this. Kisame had no weapon and had been weakened by his role in the ceremony. "It is a shame Hoshigaki that after years of faithful service that she should be your end. Your one failure."

The silver fox opened its mouth, a small orb of light appearing in its center, glowing and spinning as it grew. To everyone's surprise, it spat it at Kisame. Once it hit his hand, it shattered his Akatsuki ring and Samehada appeared in his grasp. Kisame grinned, taking a few practice swings with it as it started replenishing his chakra.

"You'd better get out of the way Suko," he warned as he slipped into a battle stance. "This is going to be messy.

I still felt pretty drained, but managed to crawl off to the side.

"Not so fast! I'm not finished with you yet." Madara snapped. He activated the curse once I reached the door. My muscles went limp so I couldn't move anymore. "Besides, you're not going to want to miss this," he said with an evil smirk.

He turned his attention back to Kisame. Now that the curse wasn't holding him back, he might stand a chance. Madara charged forward, spinning his blades at a blinding speed. Kisame was ready for him and within seconds they were parrying, thrusting, and jabbing, at such high speeds that it was dizzying to watch. At last I had to look away.

The fox carried Chikara still in her blood-red form by the hilt and dropped it at my feet. It looked at me earnestly, as if it was trying to tell me something. "You want me to use it? I can't move because of the curse. And even if I wasn't, there's no way I could-"

The fox growled and bit my hand. I cried out in pain and drew back my hand to slap it away before realizing that I was moving again. I looked at my hand; the bite mark was right where my ring used to be. I wasn't cursed anymore! But did that mean I could still win against Madara? I grasped Chikara by the handle and was surprised to feel such power emanating from it. She was far more powerful than she had ever been. Did that mean that the old attacks would be stronger to?

I looked up to see Madara scoring a big hit on Kisame, sending him across the room and landing at my feet. He struggled to his feet, his right arm was stiff. The sleeve has been torn to shreds and his arm was bleeding so much I couldn't tell where the wound was. He grimaced in pain as he fell down.

"Worn out already?" Madara asked mockingly, looking fresh as ever with not a scratch on him to be seen. "I was expecting you to be more of a challenge, perhaps she has made you too soft."

"Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you," Kisame scowled. I admired his perseverance, but it was going to kill him. He was no longer a match and while I doubted I was, I could no longer sit back and watch. It was my turn.

"You've done your part, now just take it easy." I said, resting a hand on his left shoulder.

"No, I can't let you do that," Kisame said, squeezing my hand in turn.

"And I won't let you die for me either." I said just as firmly. "And besides, I've got a score to settle."

He reached out for me vainly as I walked away, and then he coughed blood into his hand. The fox jumped on his shoulder and rubbed against his face affectionately.

"Don't make me laugh!" Madara said with a smirk. "You can't wield Chikara in her natural form."

I also felt the blade's resistance, he was probably right. Perhaps even stranger was the literal voice in my head telling me to fall back. It had to be Izanami-no-Mikoto. In an instant it was as if all time had stopped, everything faded to black and I saw myself standing before the goddess in her true form with flowing robes and long graceful hair.

She looked at me pleadingly. "Do not touch him with that blade. It traps the souls of anyone it touches and if you do I'll never see him again."

"Someone has to stop him," I insisted. "He's lost his mind and he's going to kill us if I don't."

"You cannot expect to understand the mind of a God," she fairly sneered. "What are a few deaths if it leads to the greater good?"

I was about to reply when I noticed a strange look in her eye. Despite her cool appearance, there was a hollow look in her eyes. I recognized that look. It had been on my face for many days after I had thought that Kankuro was dead. It was a devastated look that only comes when you've lost all hope. And in that moment, I understood. "This isn't about world domination at all. It's all about Izanagi-sama and being with him again. It's to punish a world that kept you two separated."

"And what about my punishment?" She snapped. "I confess it was rash for me to kill all those people in my temper, but he didn't do anything wrong. Does that justify us being eternally apart? It's more than I can stand to go through each mortal life hoping, waiting, and searching for him. Only to fail and be forced to be reborn and start all over again." She sighed forlornly. "This is the closest we've ever been. And even though it was only for a few minutes, I will treasure it always."

"You really love him, don't you?"

She lowered her gaze. "Yes, he means more to me than a mortal like you could ever understand."

"You're wrong," I said, picturing Kisame in my mind. "I have loved just as deeply."

"How would you know?" She scoffed.

"From example," I said softly and she met my gaze again. "The human race has learned how to love from you two."

A small smile lit her lips. "Well said."

I suddenly realized that this would be the world's fate if allowed to continue. Madara would stop at nothing to find her, no matter the devastation that followed. But…but what if I could change that? I was bound to her as she was to me. Perhaps there was something I could do that no one else could. I thought a little longer before speaking again. "Is there any way to break this curse?"

She looked surprised. "What are you saying? You'd help us?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?"

"I must confess it is partially to save Kisame's life as well as the lives of others who are precious to me," I admitted. "But it is also to help you two. I…I even begin to imagine the pain you two have gone through." I considered Madara for a moment. _You took away the most precious thing to me_, he had said. "It is obvious that Izanagi-sama's pain runs deep. If the situation were mine, I could not even imagine what Kisame would do. But in Izanagi-sama's effort to see you again, there have been many causalities and so many innocent lives ruined. This can't go on anymore. We need to end this."

She considered me thoughtfully, her head turned slightly to the side.

I fell to my knees in what I hope was a humble gesture. "So please, tell me what I need to do."

"You do realize what this would entail don't you? Both you and Madara have to die at the same time," she said gently. "You would have to give up Kisame and the baby of your own free will. Could you do that?"

I was shocked. I wasn't sure that I could and felt my resolve wavering. For one thing, it wouldn't be fair to kill an innocent child and to make Kisame bear the grief of losing us both. It would break him for good. But as a shinobi I also had to think beyond us. What about Gaara-sama, Temari-san, and Kankuro? What about Itachi and his family? What about Katsuye? Not to mention that a whole new generation would suffer as Madara tried to find her new reincarnation. Not to mention the hell he'd make her life, just as he had mine. He had robbed me of nearly everything I loved. Could I just stand by and let that happen to someone else? As much as I wanted my future with Kisame, I knew that I couldn't go through life seeing what price others would have to pay for my selfish desires.

For the first time, I understood what Itachi must have gone through. To choose between loved ones and the rest of the world was a heavy choice to make and a heavy burden to bear. To give up everything you love and to be despised for it. Kisame would never forgive this. But then a new thought occurred to me. If they were reunited, there was still the chance that they would try to restart the world and kill us all anyway.

"If I did," I said slowly. "Would you promise that the world would be spared? I know the current one is a bit of a mess, but it isn't beyond repair yet. Give us a little more time to fix things."

She considered this for a moment. "There would be no peace for us in this world, even if we reshaped it. There are too many painful memories here for us. We will create a new one elsewhere."

I stood up and bowed again. "Madara is much too strong for me. I'll need your help to evenly match him."

"I'll grant you some of my power," she assured me, and then turned gravely serious. "But if you break your word, your family will be forever cursed. One does not cross the Gods lightly."

I nodded. "I will keep my word."

"Then you have my blessing," she said as she disappeared from my minds view and I was abruptly brought back to the present.

"Don't make me laugh!" Madara said with a smirk. "You can't wield Chikara in her natural form."

So no time had passed huh? So much the better. I flicked my wrist, the color fading until Chikara returned to normal. I turned back to Kisame and crouched down until our faces were inches apart. "Please forgive me Kisame," I whispered. "But this has become so much more than us and I have the power to end it."

He squeezed my arm. "Don't be an idiot! If I couldn't beat him-"

I kissed him to silence him "Goodbye Kisame."

I pulled away and didn't look back. I faced Madara and brought Chikara up into position. "Let's end this."

He grinned spitefully. "With pleasure."


	23. Chapter 23: Goodbye Kiss

I focused so intently on Madara that it seemed deathly silent. I could not afford to lose my concentration or my cool. I needed to crush my anger, fear, and frustration otherwise they threatened to overwhelm me.

I waited for him to make the first move, ready to stop anything he threw at me. I could just imagine Kisame still ordering me to stand down, but this was more than just us now. This was for the fate of this world. I loved Kisame dearly as well as my own daughter… but I needed to stop Madara from reshaping the world in his own image and causing many innocent lives to be extinguished.

Madara ran towards me, his lightning blades ready to strike, but before he could land a hit on me, I blocked it with Chikara. He was strong; but now my sword was stronger and could bear the force he was putting into his attack.

"You are a fool to let your morals cloud your sight, not letting you see past the bigger picture." He hissed as he pushed back and came around to my left. "This world needs to be reshaped in order to preserve peace. By allowing your pitiful feelings for Kisame to overwhelm and weaken you, you fail to understand why I seek to change the world." The elder Uchiha sneered, pushing me back with a sharp swing against Chikara so I couldn't continue to block his attack and I fell backward.

"You're one to talk," I snapped as I flipped back onto my feet and charged. "Your vision is just as narrow as mine. You see nothing beyond your own selfish drives."

"You call making a better world for humanity selfish? It's the ultimate selfless act!" He growled as he threw a barrage of blades at me. I had to stop and spin Chikara around me to deflect them. "I was even willing to share with you. You could have had it all! Power, respect, love, the chance to make a _true_ difference in the world; and like a little fool, you clung to your weak mortal shell of existence. Now you will have only have death."

I could feel Izanami-no-Mikoto whispering hints inside my head. Apparently she was familiar with her husband's tactics. She warned that he was about to cast a genjutsu so I quickly closed my eyes and locked onto his charka levels. It was a strange sight, blinding white.

"You think you can fight me blind?" He laughed. "We'll just see about that. And when I force you to open your eyes, the real fun will begin."

I wondered if he knew that Sasuke taught me how to fight like this. For the first time ever, I was grateful that he bothered to teach me this technique. Madara disappeared and reappeared several times throughout the room in an attempt to disorient my vision. It nearly worked but I pushed away my anxiety and focused harder. I realized then that he was using clones. Only one of the shapes was constant and it was heading for Kisame who was still helpless. I raced towards them and drew Chikara back for a wide stroke. Madara held up one arm to block it and was startled when it sliced up his sleeve and a good chunk of his arm. He leaped back before I had the chance to sever it entirely. He hugged his arm against his chest, ivory blood dripping onto the floor. "You have definitely become stronger."

I raised my blade at eye level and pointed it at him. "_Now_ the fun begins."

He smirked as his arm started to heal until it was whole without a scratch. "I was the one who made you who you are. You forget that I know everything about your abilities. You know little of mine. The element of surprise is on my side."

"Says the guy who was just bleeding all over the floor." I said coolly as I started my approach. "You will not take credit for my success. Only Kisame can do that."

He scowled as he pulled out some shuriken from his sleeves and set them spinning in his hands. "I can't see why you're still so fond of your old Sensei," he scoffed as he raced to attack me directly. "I never would have imagined that you would have forgiven him. I will never understand the human's ability to forgive. How is it that some can and others refuse? What makes the difference?" He mused perhaps more to himself than to me.

I ducked and rolled as he slammed a mighty force to the ground, shredding the back of my cloak as I narrowly escaped. I flicked my wrist to charge up the electricity of Chikara and it sparked and sizzled like never before. "For someone who claims to love another, you know very little about love."

He glared at me. "You will not talk down to me. I am Izanagi-no-Mikoto and you will kneel before me."

"Not going to happen," I grimaced. "Anything else you have to say before I cut you where you stand?"

"Last words are meaningless," he said calmly as he made another charge towards me. "To leave greatness to the last minute lacks finesse."

He was entirely focused on me, even as I nearly scored hits, burning bits and pieces of his clothes and hair. He was moving so quickly that it was dizzying to keep track of him. I forced myself to maintain focus, but I was beginning to wear thin. It was taking everything I had just to avoid his attacks directly, and I suffered several minor cuts and scrapes.

After what felt like hours, I fell to one knee in exhaustion with a pounding headache. At the last moment, I sensed a kunai approaching me from behind, aimed for my heart. It was too late to avoid it entirely and I turned so it struck my shoulder. I screamed in pain as it dug into my skin with enough force that it chipped some of the bone. I crumbled to the ground.

I felt a soothing sensation spread through my torn muscles, quickly easing the pain. _You have to keep moving,_ Izanami-no-Mikoto warned._ The time to strike will be soon._ I directed one of Chikara's shock waves so that we were blown to separate ends of the room. I forced myself to stand up. The pain in my shoulder was reduced to a dull ache, but I still felt worn out. I just hoped that I would last long enough to land the killing blow.

Madara laughed in amusement. "You have gotten stronger, I'll give you that. But how much longer can you keep those eyes closed?"

His chakra levels brightened to the point that it overwhelmed my sensing capabilities and I was forced to withdraw it. I opened my eyes, and suddenly he had me by the throat and pinned me against the wall, Chikara clattered to the floor and slid out of reach.

I grabbed a kunai from my weapons pouch and stabbed him in the side. He did not even flinch.

"That's right," he said, grinning with satisfaction. "Without that electric blade of yours, you are powerless against me."

I considered shocking him like last time but then thought better of it. I had been unsuccessful in landing a direct hit, but what about a sneaky one? I could use my new technique_._ I mentally went over my plan with Izanami-no-Mikoto to see if she agreed that it would be enough to kill him. _No_, she said. _But it will if I add some of my power to Chikara. Stall him until the jutsu is ready._

For several tense seconds, Madara and I stared into each others eyes. I was terrified and finding it hard to breath, and not just because his hand was around my throat. His grip was more to hold me in place than to strangle me. And what was with Madara? Before he couldn't wait to slice me to ribbons, why was he stalling now? All anger drained from his face and he slipped into a calm and thoughtful expression. Now I was scared beyond belief because I didn't know what to expect.

He leaned closer to whisper in my ear and I shuddered to feel his lips tickle it. "You put up a good fight, but when will you realize that you are no match for me? You couldn't break free of me before and you won't now. And you want to know why?"

I swallowed nervously, feeling my breath catch in my throat. "My usefulness for you is over now that Izanami-no-Mikoto is gone…there is nothing to tie us together anymore."

"You couldn't be more wrong," he chuckled as he pulled back so he could look me in the eye. His gaze was so intense that I found that I could not look away. "I know she is still in there. And as her host body, I will always be attracted to your mortal side even though I also despise you for keeping us apart. Just like your hatred for me is mingled with desire for me as well. It is the nature of our curse, we are an eternal pair. We exist only for each other; bound together by our grief and pain, our souls longing to be complete."

"You will never understand my pain," I seethed; insulted that he would dare suggest that I was attracted to him. "You are the source of it! You have taken away everything I held dear. You have already destroyed me; death will come as a mercy at this point." I could feel myself losing it and my eyes filled with tears. "How could you do this to me?"

He furrowed his brow slightly as if I confused him. "All of that was necessary to cleanse you from mortal ties. Just like I destroyed Madara's ties to his beloved Uchiha clan. That is expected if the seal is to be broken." He looked a little sad as he tenderly stroked my cheek with his other hand. "In destroying you, I will destroy a part of myself. There is no escaping or denying that." He withdrew his hand and pulled out a kunai. He pressed it against my neck. "I wish things had turned out differently, but you have forced my hand. Just remember that this was of your own making. You have no one to blame but yourself."

From behind Madara, I saw Chikara glow a pure white color. Remembering what Kankuro taught me about chakra threads, I threw one on Chikara and tried to raise it off the ground. I was a novice at this technique and the sword was a heavy one. It was taking longer to manipulate it than I thought it would. In order to pull this off it would require a major distraction so that he wouldn't notice the sword's approach. And knowing Madara, it was going to take a lot to catch him off guard. I was going to have to do the very last thing he would ever suspect.

"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed as I felt him draw blood. "Can I just say one thing?"

"What do you have to say that is of any value at this point?" He asked dryly. "You're just stalling so you can hold onto your pathetic existence a little longer."

I called on all of my acting skills as I gently touched his cheek with my other hand. I tried to imagine Kisame in his place and it made it a little easier. Madara's eyes widened in surprise, he definitely was not expecting this. "What are you doing?" He asked warily though he didn't turn away.

"Perhaps there is something to what you say," I forced my voice to remain steady for fear threatened to choke it. So much could go wrong and I knew that this was my last chance. If I failed here, I knew I wouldn't have the strength to try again even if I got another opening. I was going to have to be convincingly seductive, something I had never tried before. "About us being an eternal pair. You are right, I hate you and yet…I am strangely drawn to you as well."

The hand on my throat trembled and I carefully leaned into him and whispered into the corner of his mouth. "So before you kill me, how about a proper goodbye?"

He slammed me back into the wall and I nearly lost my grip on Chikara, but caught her before she hit the ground. Now I would have to start all over again. "Enough of this!" He hissed. "You're just trying to get me to spare your life!"

"Don't be stupid," I groaned, trying to keep my head from spinning. "I know that I am about to die. So what do I lose by holding back how I feel about you?"

He was silent for some time, unknowingly giving me the time I had lost in my momentary lapse in concentration. He frowned thoughtfully, not sure if he really believed me. "And just how do you really feel?" He asked uncertainly and I knew then that his resistance was weakening.

"You said it yourself. Our souls are bound together, but not just in grief and pain." I tried to fix him with my more alluring gaze and prayed the goddess would forgive my forwardness. "But in love as well. We are soul mates in the truest sense, are we not?"

He brought his face close to mine, his mouth poised to touch mine. "If this is some kind of trick," he tried to threaten but his voice wavered. Clearly he was still attracted to me on some kind of level. Perhaps because I looked so much like her.

"Judge for yourself," I tempted as I kissed him. It was completely disgusting, but I pushed through my revulsion. Comforted in the fact that it wouldn't last for much longer. Madara was still at first, not sure what to make of this turn of events. At last he dropped the kunai and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back hard.

When he pulled back, I was out of breath. He grinned maliciously from ear to ear. "You're such a pretty little liar."

My blood ran cold. Did he know about my plan? Could he sense what was looming behind him? "What do you mean?"

"You just weren't convincing enough, my dear. It's as simple as that. You aren't heartless enough to do something like this. The problem is that you are good and innocent at heart." His eyes took on a smoldering gaze, bordering on lustful. "And I find those qualities nearly irresistible," he stated as he leaned in to kiss me again. I turned my head aside so that he kissed my cheek instead. "Now don't be like that," he whined slightly as he turned my chin toward him. "That's not to say I didn't enjoy it."

"If you already knew I was lying, then why did you-?" He kissed me in mid-sentence.

He chuckled. "If you're going to offer yourself, then be prepared to go through with it. And besides, I've been a good boy holding back this whole time. Before I kill you I think I deserve a little reward first."

I turned bright red, a strange mix of embarrassment and anger. He was making a fool out of me! But I also realized that he hadn't mentioned a thing about Chikara. He must not be aware of it still. I felt almost giddy with relief. I still had a chance! But I was going to have to be careful to not arouse suspicion. I let myself laugh a little as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I was quickly running out of time so I cast extra chakra strings to Chikara. "Looks like I couldn't outsmart you after all. You must know everything."

"Nearly," he smirked. "But truth is not flattery."

"But you know how my story ends," I prompted him. "So tell me what happens next."

His eyes lit up with sadistic glee. "You really want to know?"

I shot him my best flirtatious look. "Are you saying you'd rather show me instead?"

He kissed me again and I slowly moved my fingers in a circular motion, making the sword spiral in place. Madara moved down to kiss my neck and I made the mistake of looking at Kisame. He was a mixture of grief, despair, and rage. I could only imagine the murderous thoughts he was directing at Madara and probably a few to me for letting him do this. But as he saw the sword spin, he knew what my next move was going to be and that I wouldn't survive it either. He struggled to his feet and staggered slowly forward. He would never make it in time. A tear trickled down my cheek. _Goodbye Kisame_, I mouthed as I tugged to sword towards us and Kisame reached out for me one last time.

The sword stabbed right through our hearts, pinning us both to the wall.


	24. Chapter 24: Kankuro's Farewell

As felt my mind slip away I was dimly aware of Kisame's scream. Everything went black for a brief instant before suddenly being surrounded by a white light. I was on my knees trying to catch my breath while I adjusted to my new surroundings. There wasn't a scratch on me and I felt no pain, no physical pain that is. But inside my heart was broken. Up ahead I saw Izanami-sama and Izanagi-sama in their godly forms embracing. I turned away, suddenly sickened by their happiness. It wasn't fair that I couldn't have what I wanted. I felt so juvenile to complain inwardly. I had no one else to blame; this had been a choice that I alone had made. It had been for the good of the world. Madara was now no longer a threat. He wouldn't come after me or anyone else and I had finally gotten my revenge. But why did it hurt so much? Why couldn't I be happy, even a little bit?

I could just imagine Kisame standing by my remains, trying to convince himself that I was just unconscious. Would he have the strength to clean up the mess? Would he be able to carry my bruised and broken body out of that room? Would he understand why I had to do it and accept my sacrifice? Or would he forever despise me for it and curse my name till his dying breath? I would never know. I buried my face in my hands and cried my heart out. There would be no peace for me in this afterlife. Where was the hell I belonged?

I heard footsteps approach and looked up to see Izagani-sama standing over me. He resembled Madara just as his wife resembled me. He looked at me thoughtfully. "I understand you now, Ritsuko the Loner. You died on purpose. You were trying to break the curse so we could be together again." His face fell. "I have caused you nothing but pain and torment. I did not deserve such generosity. You have my eternal gratitude."

While it was nice to hear it, it did nothing to soothe my aching heart. I looked away. "Please watch over Kisame and Katsuye. I know this is asking for a lot, but if there is any way to save the unborn child too…please don't let it pay for my mistakes."

He was mildly surprised. "You do not ask for your own life?"

I looked him in the eye, trying to banish my bitter thoughts. "I gave my life willingly."

His wife came up behind him and whispered in his ear. He nodded. "We both feel that you deserve the chance to be as happy as we are. Therefore you will be given your life back, as well as the child's. You have our blessing and the full power of Chikara, use her wisely."

Before I got the chance to thank them, everything faded away. When I came to I was in a hospital, in my own private room with a tight bandage around my chest that made it a little hard to breathe.

"Oh hey! You're awake!"

I turned to see Miko sitting by my side. She gave me a sly grin and I suddenly realized that she had been the silver fox that helped us earlier. I felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. "You are one lucky human Ritsuko."

I tried to sit up. "What's going on? Where's Kisame? What's happened to the baby?"

She gently pushed me back. "Settle down, I'll explain everything in due time. First things first, you are alive and recovering in Konoha. The ceremony was off the chakra scale, drawing all forces to it. With Itachi's help, they were able to kill the fiend who used the Impure World Resurrection Jutsu, but not before tricking him into releasing the jutsu. Not to worry though, I made 'special allowances'," she said with a wink. "Only Itachi and Hoshigaki-san have been granted their lives again. They are now counted as part of the living. But thanks to your efforts, the war is over and nearly everyone has returned to their homes. I believe that the Sand Kazekage has hopes of bringing you home, though Mizukage Terumi has her hopes set on your return as well."

"Where is Kisame now?" I asked aloud. What I couldn't ask aloud was if he was angry at me for what I did.

Her enthusiasm lessened slightly. "He is to be tried in court, but allowed to stay under house arrest with Itachi keeping an eye on him. His list of crimes are…lengthy to say the least. He will be judged by the Kages tomorrow, they will decide his fate. Your crimes have been pardoned considering the circumstances."

"And the baby?" I asked hesitantly.

Her smile returned. "There doesn't appear to be any damage. You're lucky you were only three months along. The doctors think everything will be just fine." She stood up and stretched. "Well, now that you're awake, I can take you home. So just stay here while I fill out the release forms. I'll be right back."

I was just resting my eyes when I thought I heard footsteps approaching followed by a gentle knock. I looked towards the doorway to see Kankuro leaning against it. He had his hands in his pockets and looked uneasy. "May I come in?"

I didn't know what to say. I felt just as awkward as him. I nodded and he took a seat in Miko's chair. He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Look, I just wanted to say goodbye."

"You're going home?" I asked softly, feeling sorry for him. But this was a hurt that I could not make right. We would never have what we once did, too much had changed.

"Yeah, I think it's for the best, you know?" he said. "Now that the war is over and all."

I nodded, unable to look at him. "Kankuro, I never meant to hurt you. I really thought you were dead."

"You were almost right," he said grimly. "I was lucky someone found me when they did. But surely you knew I was alive. Didn't you use your Chakra Sensing abilities? That should have told you."

I blushed like the fool I was. "I never thought to do that, so much was going on. I was kidnapped right afterwards."

He sighed and reached out to hold my hand. For a moment I considered pulling away. I didn't want to encourage him. In the end I decided to let him, it was the least I could do.

"It's no use Ritsuko. I thought I had gotten over you but one look at your beautiful face..." He sighed. "And I fall for you all over again. It's not fair. Just when you agreed to marry me, I lose you. You should still be mine and now you're in love with _him_." His tone was fairly calm, but I detected bitterness. "How can that be after what he did to you? I still want to strangle him for that."

I felt at a loss of how to express my feelings. But I owed it to him to at least try. "He's changed Kankuro. Trust me I hated him for a long time, but…well…"

"Don't bother explaining," he said curtly. "I don't really want to hear how it came about." He took a few calming breaths. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be such a whiny brat about this. I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. If you really love him, then go for it. But just answer me this: does he set you free?"

His words sparked the memory of that night that felt so long ago, where he told me how he didn't want to catch me, but set me free. I looked away as I answered. "Yes, he does. For the first time in a long time…" I looked him in the eye. "I feel complete."

"Then I'm happy for you." He said as he stood and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "He may have won this time, but you were still my girl for all those years. He can't take that away from me."

I smiled wryly. "No, I suppose not."

"Take care of yourself Ritsuko," he said over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

_Well, that went as well to be expected_, I thought to myself as I rolled over to rest some more.


	25. Chapter 25: Heart to Heart

Miko and Itachi were now living together and she brought me back to their place. As soon as I stepped through the door, I caught Itachi's eye and froze. His expression was as calm as ever but for the first time, I noticed something I hadn't before. Perhaps it was because we both had had to make the same type of decision before, but there was an uncertain "What if" look in his eye. As if he still had lingering doubts about his decision to become the double agent. Had it always been there before? He rose slowly from his chair and approached me thoughtfully.

"I'll go get Hoshigaki-san. I didn't tell him you were coming, so he'll be surprised!" Miko turned towards the stairs before Itachi gently grabbed her arm.

"Let him rest," Itachi said. His eyes were still on me. "I want to talk to her first."

He took me by the hand and led me into an empty room. Once the door was closed, he pulled me into a tight hug. I didn't know what to say, he'd never done that before. I was even more startled to feel tears drip down my neck.

"It's all over now and you're going to be ok, Ritsuko." He said gently. "I know you're hurting inside. I can see it in your eyes because they are the same as mine. You now carry the same regret, the same uncertainty, and the same pain. Just like me, you had to kill a part of yourself to go through with this. And while you'll never be the same again, you need to remember that things will get better…and you will be forgiven. Don't look back and wonder 'what if', you can't afford to or it will cripple you. Move forward and live with no more regrets. I still struggle sometimes, but it is something I try to live by."

I hugged him back and cried as well. That was what I needed to hear. It was comforting to know that someone else had experienced the same pain and had surpassed it. Would I have the strength to do the same? "What about Kisame? Will he ever forgive me?"

"There is only one way to know for sure." He whispered in my ear. "And that is to talk to him." He pulled away and handed me a handkerchief with a small smile. "I should warn you that he is very angry…but not for the reasons that you think. So when you do talk to him, don't get defensive and try to listen with an open mind."

I jumped when I heard Kisame bellow from upstairs. "WHAT? SHE'S HERE AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?"

I felt my knees tremble. "Not a great start for a heart to heart, is it?"

Itachi chuckled as we heard him running down the stairs. "No it's not, but best of luck."

He deftly side-stepped as the door slammed open, the hinges creaking in protest. Kisame towered over me with a thunderous look in his eyes, not too unlike the one he gave Madara when he threatened me. "You have a lot of explaining to do! Just what were you thinking back there?"

Itachi shot me a sympathetic look as he quietly slipped out of the room and closed the door.

I gulped nervously. This wasn't quite the welcome back I expected, though it was one that I probably deserved. I opened my mouth to speak before he interrupted. "Shut it, I don't want to hear any of your excuses!"

_How I can explain when I'm supposed to shut up?_ I thought grudgingly.

"I could have handled Madara on my own; there was no need for you to step in! I had everything under control! There was no need for self-sacrifice! And you kissed him too and all those things you said! Have you lost your mind?"

"You really think for one second that I'm attracted to him in any way?" I asked with a disgusted look on my face. "I had to distract him so I could land the finishing move. It was pure manipulation, nothing more."

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? Is the life our child so worthless to you that you could easily kill it along with yourself?"

Finally I got fed up with him hollering in my face and I shoved him backward. "I've been through enough! I don't need you yelling at me!"

He seemed surprised, but only for a moment. "You're still thinking about yourself! How could you be so selfish?"

"I'm selfish?" I asked incredulously. "I had the one chance to end the war and I took it! So excuse me for trying to make the world a better place for you! What is so wrong with trying to protect you? For the record I didn't even know I was pregnant, so don't accuse me of hiding that from you! And how dare you say I killed it easily! Do you really think me so heartless? Giving you both up was the hardest thing I've ever done! Don't you think that I wanted nothing more than to be with you and live the life we dreamed of?"

He stared silently at me with a flinty look in his eye.

I fell to my knees, exhausted from standing for so long. I was panting slightly, the bandage around my chest made it hard to breathe. "I did it for you Kisame," I said quietly. I was losing energy fast; I hadn't recovered enough from the battle. "Why can't you understand that?"

He was quiet for some time and when he spoke, he did so softly. "I do understand Suko. Hayashi-san told me about your deal with Izanami-no-Mikoto. I understand why you did what you did. If I had been in your situation…I probably would have done the same thing. I just wish that you hadn't needed to."

He turned his back to me and lowered his head. He clenched his fists so tightly until they trembled. "But that doesn't change the fact that I was too weak to protect you. Why has that never changed? No matter how much stronger I get, it's never enough! I couldn't save you from Akatsuki either time or protect you from Madara! And to think that I actually helped him nearly kill you…I…I…"

"That wasn't your fault," I said delicately. "You can't fight what the curse commands."

"You were able to once." He huffed.

"Yeah and nearly died in the process if you recall," I said as I pushed myself to my feet, walked towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I rested my aching head against his back. "I'd hardly call that a success."

He pulled away. "Don't touch me right now."

I was heartbroken. "You'll never forgive me, will you?"

He turned in surprise. "That has nothing to do with it. Am I angry that you got yourself killed for my sake? Yes. Am I angry that you nearly killed our child? Heck yes. Am I wrong to take my anger and frustration out on you? Absolutely."

"Then what's really bothering you?" I said, feeling a little out of breath still.

"I regret that I couldn't save you." He said remorsefully. "I had to sit back and watch you die. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for being so weak."

I sat on the window sill and tugged at my bandages, trying to loosen them. If I didn't soon I was going to pass out. Thankfully I was able to just in time and I took several deep breaths. He watched on with a tortured look. "I let this happen to you."

"Oh knock it off with the pity party," I growled in annoyance. "If I have anyone to blame, it's me. I knew what I was getting myself into."

He scowled. "What are you talking about? You never know what you're getting yourself into."

"You're right," I admitted. "I never expected to live. If I had, I would have gone a little easier on myself…argh…I feel sore in places I didn't know I had. Get over here and help me up, will ya?"

He hesitated for a moment, but drew closer and helped me up. "Now hold still," I said as I wrapped my arms around him. "I need you to hold me."

He slowly put his arms around me and I could hear his racing heartbeat begin to regulate.

I took his scent in, comforted by its familiarity. "I can't believe I got a third chance to be with you again. So please don't ruin it by being angry at me or blaming yourself. What's done is done."

"Some things are better left forgotten," he finished gently. "But why do you want to be with someone who can't protect you?"

"I don't need you to protect me. I just need you to love me."

He chuckled softly as he ruffled my hair. "Now that's something I can't fail at."

I was starting to feel lightheaded enough that my knees gave out. He quickly scooped me in his arms and held me close. "You're overdone it again," he said ruefully. "Don't you ever take it easy?"

"I guess not," I said with a small smile. "Oh I forgot to tell you…" I had a hard time keeping my eyes open and I leaned my head against his chest. "The baby is still alive. I'm…thr…three months…along."

"Rest first," he gently scolded. "Then we'll talk some more."

"I…love you…" I mumbled, nearly asleep.

He kissed my forehead. "And I love you Ritsuko."


	26. Chapter 26: Kisame's Trial

I was shaken awake the next morning by Miko. She frowned down at me. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but you're going to miss Hoshigaki-san's trial if you don't get a move on."

I bolted upright and quickly put my boots on. "What? Why didn't he wake me?"

"He wanted you get your rest. And I suspect that he doesn't want you to be present for the trial."

"Why wouldn't he want me there?" I asked.

She looked away. "I don't think he expects to be pardoned."

I gasped. "You don't mean…they'll execute him?"

"It's not unreasonable, his crimes are extensive."

"I'm going!" I said as I flew out the door.

"Wait a minute!" She called out to me.

"There isn't time to waste!" I snapped as I ran down the stairs. "They're not going to sentence him without me present!"

"At least wear a coat, you idiot!" She threw one at me just before I closed the door.

A coat was probably a good idea since it was winter now. I hurriedly put it on and asked a passer-by where the trial was taking place. I was directed to the Hokage's office, it wasn't hard to miss with its big insignia on the building. I raced there, collecting snow in my boots which threatened to weigh me down. I knew I was pushing myself too far, my legs threatened to give out. But I couldn't give up now; I was nearly there. I threw the door open, rushed past the bewildered guards and used my Chakra Sensing ability to lock on Kisame's chakra. I went up two flights of stairs and collapsed at the top of them. I took several deep breaths as I struggled to get on my hands and knees.

"Why am I not surprised to see you here?" Itachi said dryly as he helped me up. "I suppose it doesn't matter to you that Kisame didn't want you to be here?"

I glared at him. "What do you think? I'm not going to miss his trial so don't try to stop me."

"I won't," he quickly assured me as he pulled off his long travel robe. "But you should at least look more presentable. No one will take you serious if you barge in looking like that."

"What's wrong with the way I look?" I asked. Then I realized I was still wearing pajamas. "Point taken."

I let him help me into the robe. He removed his hair tie and gently gathered my scattered locks and secured them. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I can't just abandon him to his fate," I said.

"This may be beyond your help though," Itachi warned. "Don't be reckless and fight the Kages decision. They have been kind to forgive your crimes; don't give them reason to rethink that."

I nodded curtly and stepped through the double doors. There was a small crowd of people sitting along the sides. All five Kages were seated on a pavilion, looking down at the lone shackled figure that stood before them. All looked at me and stared for a moment, except for Kisame. But I have no doubt that he knew it was me.

"You shouldn't be here," He whispered as I came to his side.

Gaara-sama stood up. "Ritsuko-san, I am pleased to see that you're feeling better; but we are in the middle of a trial. You must excuse us."

I bowed deeply. "Please forgive my intrusion Kazekage, but I must speak in Kisame's defense."

The Kages looked interested and Gaara-sama sat back down. "You have something to add?"

I nodded.

"You have two minutes," Lady Tsunade said firmly.

I bowed gratefully. "Thank you. I admit that Kisame is probably guilty of most of the charges he's accused of. But he's changed."

"How?" The Raikage's brow furrowed.

"He was the one who attacked Madara. Kisame's loyalty to the organization was based on the cursed rings each member is obligated to wear. He never followed their ideals faithfully and when he was given the chance to rebel, he took it. That proves that he is no longer the evil Monster of the Mist. I know him better than anyone else, his heart has changed. If he were given his freedom, he would be a valuable asset and ally. Please just give him a chance to prove himself."

"That hardly justifies his grievous crimes," the Tsuchikage grumbled. "You will not make light of his crimes in this court. Whether he was forced to commit them or not is relevant. The end result is the same."

I lowered my head and collected my thoughts. "You are absolutely right. And in following your logic, I should not have been pardoned. I was Kisame's partner in Akatsuki and most of his crimes are mine as well. I should be held just as responsible as he is."

"Shut up right now!" Kisame snapped, turning to face me. "There is no reason to refuse their kindness in pardoning you!"

Lady Tsunade's brow furrowed. "What are you getting at Ritsuko-san?"

"I don't want to be separated from him," I said as I took his hand and squeezed it. "So wherever you send him, you'll have to send me too."

This clearly shocked them all. The female Mizukage stood up. "You'd be welcomed as a hero back in Kirigakure. He is a traitorous missing-nin whose crimes start from before his membership in Akatsuki. Why would you want to share his fate?"

"Because she's lost her mind," Kisame grumbled his breath.

I elbowed him. "Because I love him."

"That is so romantic!" Someone wailed from the crowd. It was the nine-tailed jinchuriki from Konoha. He was wiping tears from his eyes just as Sakura smacked him upside the head. "What? Its like something out of those romance books you read all the time."

She turned bright red and kicked him out of his seat.

"It's alright Suko," Kisame said softly. "This has been a long time coming and its time that I paid for my crimes. There is nothing you can do here, so go home."

"I've abandoned you twice," I said back. "I don't want to do it a third time."

"You're in no position to follow him. Prison is no place for a pregnant lady," the grumpy Tsuchikage said gruffly.

"He's right you know," Lady Tsunade said. "And given the trauma the fetus has already experienced, your pregnancy will be closely monitored. You would be wise to stay here."

"Listen to them." Kisame said, letting go of my hand and stepping away. "I won't have you pay the price for my mistakes."

I reached out for him when I felt gentle pressure on my arm. I turned to see Kakashi-san offering his arm. "Perhaps you'd be more comfortable sitting down."

I looked back at Kisame, he refused to look back. I still felt drained from my run this morning so I gratefully accepted his arm. He led me to a seat right next to Temari-san. I wasn't surprised to see that Kankuro wasn't with her. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders reassuringly.

"Please forgive her outburst," Kisame bowed respectfully. "She is not herself."

What nerve! I stood up to shout at him, but Temari pulled me back down. "He's only covering for you. Have you any idea what kind of trouble you could get into by opposing them? Their word is law."

"Nevertheless," Lady Tsunade said firmly. "I believe she meant every word." She looked at her fellow Kages. "I think we should consider that whatever punishment we give him will have repercussions."

"We will not go easy on him!" The fifth Mizukage snapped. "His crimes against Kirigakure are even to condemn him!"

"And he was one of the most loyal members of Akatsuki," The Tsuchikage said grimly. "We can hardly let him go free."

The fourth Raikage glared suspiciously at me. "We can't be too sure that her testimony is a valid one. Itachi-san did say something about the brain-washing techniques of Akatsuki. It could just be a ploy to sway our emotions in an attempt to make his sentence a more lenient one."

Gaara-sama considered him thoughtfully. I could see him looking from me to him and back again. "She is no longer under the curse of Akatsuki. I know Ritsuko-san well. She is not lying." He fixed his gaze on Kisame. "If you were given the choice, what would you do with your freedom?"

Kisame was startled. "What do you mean Kazekage-sama?"

"Yes, I'd like to know the same thing!" The female Mizukage growled. "Just what are you suggesting?"

Gaara-sama waved her down. "It's just a simple question, not an out-right pardon."

Kisame looked at me at first. Gaara-sama narrowed his eyes. "Look me in the eye and answer."

Kisame looked him squarely in the eye. "I would settle down with my family."

"Would you say that your love from Ritsuko-san is genuine?" Gaara asked intently as he rested his chin on his interlaced fingers. I recognized this position, he was trying to detect if Kisame was lying. He didn't have the same ability to detect lying through chakra as I did, but he did know quite a bit about the darkness in people's hearts. He knew when people were lying to him.

"Of course." Kisame said firmly.

"How is any of this relevant?" The Mizukage objected.

"People often change for the ones they love," Gaara-sama explained simply. "We must not forget that he fought Madara as well."

"Backstabbing is often a repeat offense. It was stupid for Madara to rely on him," the Tsuchikage huffed.

"Either that or his loyalty has changed." Gaara-sama said as he locked eyes with me. "I agree with Ritsuko-san that he has changed. Since the last time I have seen him, he carries none of the anger and blood thirst that plagued his heart before. Even as he stands here, he has not made excuses or begged for mercy. He freely admits his guilt and his willingness to pay the consequences. That is the behavior of one who is repentant, not one who is still a monster."

The Mizukage looked ready to explode and he turned to face her. "His life was returned by the gods as a sign of forgiveness, would you take it away so lightly? And what good would it do you to have him rotting in jail?"

"Then how would you suggest that Kirigakure get their vengeance?" She asked through her teeth.

"Vengeance should have no place here," Gaara-sama said firmly. "Have you forgotten that we just got out of war that centered on someone else's vengeance? We are not ruling for vengeance, but for justice. He is guilty of every offense; there is no doubt of that. He should pay for his crimes, but perhaps in a more practical way."

The Tsuchikage looked thoughtfully at Gaara-sama. "I think I can see where you're going with this…but some many things could go wrong. What safeguards would be set in place?"

"Only the very best," Gaara-sama said simply. "What I propose is that Hoshigaki-san be welcomed home and provide community service for however long the honorable Mizukage sees fit. Give him a chance to prove where his true loyalty lies. If he steps out of line, kill him on the spot without further trial. Are these terms acceptable to Kirigakure?"

She didn't look entirely convinced. "What safeguards would be in place?"

"I feel that Ritsuko-san would be perfectly capable of keeping him in line," Gaara-sama assured her. "She is, after all, the kunoichi who defeated Madara. And if her skills aren't convincing enough, why not employ Itachi-san to the task as well? He is more than capable as well. Does anyone object to this movement?"

The other Kages moved to pass the movement, but the Mizukage still looked uncertain for a moment longer. At long last she sighed and smiled. "Perhaps you are right Kazekage. After all we have been through; it would be foolish to still harbor angry feelings. But in addition to your suggestions, I would like to employ Kirigakure's ANBU as well. One cannot be too careful."

Gaara-sama nodded. She stood up and addressed Kisame directly. "Hoshigaki-san you will be sentenced to twenty years of community service. You will work directly under my supervision. And if you prove yourself truly changed, you will be counted as a shinobi of Kirigakure once again." Her eyes took on a steely gaze. Clearly she was not someone to be trifled with. "But if you resort to your traitorous ways even after your probation, I will not hesitate to strike you down. Is that understood?"

Kisame bowed deeply. "Yes Mizukage-sama. I will not disappoint you."

"I hope not, for your sake."

"I would like to make a tiny exception." Lady Tsunade interjected. "That he remains in Konoha until Ritsuko-san is ready to travel with him. Any objections?" All were silent and she beat a gavel on the table. "Case dismissed. Remove his cuffs and place him in the custody of Ritsuko-san and Itachi-san."

The crowd stood up to leave and Temari-san stopped me for a moment. "I have to leave now, but you will keep in touch, won't you?"

I nodded, and then lowered my eyes feeling a little more sober. "Take care of Kankuro for me. He is still a good friend of mine."

"Never mind that blockhead," she groaned. "He'll be just fine. Now go and see that shark of yours." She said as she playfully pushed me towards him.

He was talking to Itachi but once he saw me, he raced towards me, gathered me in his arms and spun me around. "I can't believe it! Now we can be together for good!"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "Now after so many years, we can finally celebrate our first wedding anniversary."

He threw his head back and laughed. "And many more to come!"

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Gaara-sama was leaving. I couldn't let him go without saying good-bye. I gently pushed back. "Let me go, I'll be right back."

I hurried out the door and called after him. He turned to look over his shoulder and I fell to my knees in a deep bow. "You have my eternal gratitude Gaara-sama! You saved his life!"

"No Ritsuko-san," he said simply. "You saved his life. You do realize that he will still suffer prejudice from others, don't you? He may very well spend the rest of his life proving his worth. He will need you more than ever, are you sure you're up for the challenge?"

I stood up and looked him squarely in the eye. "I am."

He wore a small smile and cocked his head to the side. "You have been a loyal guard and your services will be greatly missed. And I must confess that it is a shame that you won't be my sister."

I blushed in spite of myself. I should have figured that Kankuro had told him.

"But I can let you go knowing that for the first time since we met," he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "That the heavy shadows over your heart have cleared because you are truly happy. It would appear that you two complete each other. If you ever get the chance to visit Sunagakure, please do so. You will always be welcome."

I nodded. "Thank you for all you've done for me over the years Kazekage-sama."

He smiled appreciatively, then turned away and walked away without looking back.


	27. Chapter 27: Katsuye Part 2

A special surprise was waiting for us when we returned to Itachi's place. On the couch nestled against Yusei was a familiar little girl. She couldn't have been older than two years old. She had a mess of navy blue hair that was tied back into two ponytails on either side of her head. Yusei had his arm around her, pretending to read a picture book to her. Both looked up at us when we walked through the door. Yusei hopped off the couch and ran to Itachi with out-stretched arms. Itachi grinned as he picked him up and carried him into the kitchen. "What is that delicious smell? Why don't we go and check it out?"

Kisame and I stayed where we were, staring at the little girl. She blinked at us with a vacant expression. "Katsuye?" I whispered, not wanting to get my hopes up. But the resemblance was unmistakable.

She perked up. "Who you?"

I suddenly felt tongue-tied, not sure if she'd believe me if I said we were her parents. It was awkward. She slowly approached us, dragging a dolly behind her. I dropped to one knee so she could get a closer look at my face. She peered at it with keen eyes before turning to look at Kisame who knelt as well. She reached out to touch his face and his eyes glistened with tears. She had his heart wrapped around her little finger. It was clear that she was going to be a daddy's girl. Her eyes lit up when he touched the gill marks under his eyes. She clapped her hands with delight. "Stripes like me! Stripes like me!"

He laughed as he pulled her into a tight embrace. "You're as cheeky as your mother!"

"Hey!" I protested as I gently punched his arm. "You watch your mouth!"

He pulled me into the hug and squeezed us both. "I finally have you both. I am truly the luckiest man on earth."

"You're all welcome to stay with us until the next one is born." Miko smiled down at us from the kitchen's doorway. "Congratulations on your freedom, by the way." She winked at Kisame.

He was too absorbed with Katsuye to pay Miko any attention. He stood up and put Katsuye on his shoulders. She grabbed a hold of his hair to keep her balance. "See Yusei! See Yusei!" She said eagerly and he happily led her into the kitchen.

"Thank you Miko," I said as I approached her. "I think we'll take you up on that offer. And thank you for rescuing Katsuye." I suddenly grabbed her arm in fear as I remembered Madara's plans for my little girl. "There's a genjutsu on her that must be released!"

Miko shrugged me off. "Relax; Itachi noticed it right away when I brought her here. It's been removed. She's just a normal girl now."

"Be careful with that Yusei." We heard Itachi warn. Just then there was the sound of a breaking dish followed by a cloud of flour that blew out the kitchen doorway. Katsuye and Yusei shrieked with laughter as they ran hand-in-hand out of the kitchen completely covered in flour.

Kisame and Itachi chased after them, also covered in powdery white. "Not to worry, we'll clean it up!" Itachi said over his shoulder before they disappeared into the next room after them.

"The kids look like they're close," I observed after Miko and I had a good laugh.

Miko nodded. "Yes, they've been inseparable since she arrived. I think Yusei likes the idea of being older than someone."

I bit my lip nervously. "She wasn't mistreated before, was she?"

"Not at all," Miko reassured me. "She was very well cared for and was as normal as could be. Itachi searched through her memory looking for any clues that could lead to Akatsuki's downfall. She was pretty sheltered, Madara saw to her care personally. He was very kind to her."

While I was grateful that she was never harmed, it still made my stomach sick to remember him holding her so tenderly. How dare he tried to take my place! I tried to comfort myself with the fact that he was dead. He couldn't hurt me or my family. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. He had no power over us anymore. We were free. _And yet_, I thought. _I have the feeling that he'll forever haunt my dreams_. But I had to remember Itachi's advice; _while you'll never be the same again, you need to remember that things will get better_.

Kisame finally caught Katsuye and swung her over his shoulder. She pounded his back with her little fists. "Put me down! Put me down!" She looked up at me and reached out pitifully. "Mama! Save me!"

I sucked in my breath. She…called me mama. It melted my heart like nothing else. There was nothing else to compare this feeling with. I didn't know I could love someone else so absolutely, but in that moment she won me over. I quickly snatched her from Kisame and took off and raced up the stairs with her giggling in my arms.

Kisame was confused for a second, but quickly caught on. "You better run!" He challenged. "Because I'm gonna get you!"

I took her into my room and let her go. "Hide Katsuye!" I winked as I slipped into a defensive position. "He's coming!"

She ducked under the bed just before he barged through the door with a playful growl. He tackled me onto the bed and grinned from ear to ear. "Nice try, but you'll never escape me!"

After sharing a good laugh, and we settled down; I wore a thoughtful smile and gently stroked his cheek. "We'll always be together now, won't we?"

His expression softened. "Yes Suko. Forever starts now."

I was distracted by a tugging sensation on my hair and we looked to see Katsuye pulling. "I save you! I save you Mama!"

We both laughed and I pulled her onto the bed to join us.

"Come here you little monster!" He teased as he ruffled her hair. She nestled between us on the bed and yawned. Within seconds she was asleep. Kisame and I looked at each other over her head with satisfied smiles.


	28. Chapter 28: Loner No More

And it only got better from there. Katsuye really warmed up to us and it great to finally get to know her. With Kisame and I being so volatile, I was surprised to discover that she was as calm and cool as Itachi. She often had a keen look to her eye, like she understood more than I thought. It was sweet to see her interact with Yusei; it was obvious that he really cared for her. I wondered what would happen to their friendship when we returned to Kirigakure.

Time passed by quickly and once a week for the rest of the pregnancy, I was scheduled to see Lady Tsunade. She wanted to make sure things were developing as normal as possible. I think she was a little weirded out that Kisame insisted on accompanying me to as many of the appointments as he could. He was very much hoping for a boy this time and was always disappointed that Lady Tsunade couldn't confirm that.

Thankfully he was kept fairly busy with Itachi overseeing his "rehabilitation." Which was just a fancy word for extra training practice and just hanging. He thought it would be a good idea for Kisame to help out around the village with various assignments in town like painting fences and fetching lost pets. The kind of assignments usually assigned for genins. The other villagers were wary of Kisame at first, but soon came to trust him. I was amazed at how fast they changed their opinions; it seemed that everyone in Konoha was quick to forgive. I asked Sakura-san about it one day. "After Naruto, I think everyone is willing to give people a second chance."

Right towards the end of my pregnancy, I could barely sleep so I often go down to the kitchen to get a midnight snack. This was one of those nights and I was surprised to see Itachi sitting at the table with a snack of his own. He looked up to see me and stood up to help me.

"Don't bother," I grumbled. "I'm pregnant, not crippled."

He chuckled and sat back down. "Just trying to be helpful."

I sighed. "I know. I just hate being treated like I'm about to break. I'm not that delicate."

"Then don't think of it that way," he said simply. "We don't."

"And how do you think about it?" I asked as I picked some various fruit from the fridge and put it in a bowl.

"It's our way of showing you that we care," he pulled a nearby chair out for me.

"I guess there's nothing wrong with that," I admitted grudgingly. "I just don't want to trouble anyone. You and Miko have already done so much for us."

"It's been our pleasure," he assured me. "This house will feel empty without you three. But I'm sure that you're excited to return home."

What would it be like to go home? Would we move into Kisame's old place if it was even available? And how would everyone react to Kisame's return? I thought about Gaara-sama's last words. _You do realize that he will still suffer prejudice from others, don't you? He may very well spend the rest of his life proving his worth. He will need you more than ever._ "I'm not sure about that. It hasn't been home for a long time."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "May I ask you a personal question?"

"Depends on the question."

"Why are you called Ritsuko the Loner? Granted you do tend to keep to yourself, but it doesn't explain the title."

I felt another cramp coming on and I pressed a hand against my abdomen. "How much of my past do you know?"

"Kisame told me how you were passed around from relative to relative and not treated very well because you were supposedly an embarrassment to the family name."

I laughed grimly. "Embarrassment is putting it lightly. Kisame doesn't know the half of it and he never will. Some things just should not be shared. But he was right about me being passed around. Anytime I tried to interact with others, I was ignored." I wore a rueful smile. "Do you know what that's like? To be so unimportant that you aren't worth acknowledging? It hurt worse than any kind of physical abuse they could inflict. In my last living situation, there was a cousin about my age. He went to the ninja academy and his family randomly thought I should attend to. They felt that he should have someone to practice on, a personal punching bag so to speak. I didn't know how to react to the other kids. I couldn't understand their friendliness; I had never encountered it before. So I isolated myself from the others. It was just a nickname that stuck, but one that I ultimately embraced. It proved to the world that I didn't need anyone."

I hesitated as I pondered my past. I could still see that bitter little girl I used to be in my mind's eye. She was angry and resentful, not because she was better than anyone, but because she was hurting inside and didn't know how to change. She just wanted someone to love her. My heart swelled when I remembered the first time I asked Kisame why he was being so nice to me. He sat me on his lap and gave me a hug. _You are very special to me_, he had said. _Not because of your skills or talents. But because of who you are._ And it was from that moment on that I knew I could trust him whole heartedly. It was one of the major turning points in my life. I wore a side smile. "But I was wrong. I did need others and still do. I wouldn't be who I am now with you all. I…I think I'll discard the nickname now. It's no longer needed."

Itachi smiled proudly. "True strength comes when you realize that your own strength is not enough. It lies in the ability to rely on true friends, that is what makes us stronger than we could ever imagine. Now I hope you'll forgive my curiosity, but how did you mean Kisame? He told me his version, but I'd like to hear yours as well."

I shrugged. "Sure, why not. I don't think I'll get anymore sleep tonight anyway. I was the best swordsman the school had seen since Kisame. My teachers bragged and praised me. My Aunt and Uncle could never openly admit that I was as good as I was. To do so would imply that I have some worth. It also didn't look good that I was better by my cousin so they kicked me out. They also used their political influence to ensure that I 'flunked' out of the academy."

Itachi was quiet for a while. "How old were you?"

"Ten."

He looked away. "To be so despised at such a young age…"

I bristled at his sympathy. I hated being pitied. "Its not a big deal so don't worry about it. Things turned out just fine for me. One of my professors recommended that I convince Kisame to take me as a student. It took some time. He admitted that I had talent, but was unwilling to take on someone who had been kicked out of the academy. But since I was homeless, he let me stay until I could find another place. I didn't have the heart to tell him that there was no where else I could go."

"What changed his mind?" Itachi pressed, clearly interested.

I took some deep breaths; the pain was increasing a little. "My family ironically. When they found out that I was staying with him, they freaked out. They thought he was seducing me or something, so they called him out on it. You can imagine how he handled it."

Itachi chuckled. "Not every well, I take it."

I nodded. "He was absolutely livid. My uncle grabbed me roughly, berated me for further tarnishing the family name, and tried to drag me away. Kisame stepped in. My uncle tried to use his position to intimidate Kisame, but it didn't work. There was no budging him. He insisted that I was his new student."

"What happened then?"

"My Uncle caved. He was spineless. He could beat down a little kid, but was powerless against those his size. He was used to his position speaking for him, but it had no effect on Kisame. Still wanting to maintain face, my Uncle warned that I wasn't worth the trouble and to not return me when I turned out to be unmanageable. I never saw him again."

The pain was nearly unbearable now and I rested my head on the table.

"Are you feeling alright?" Itachi asked, rising from his seat.

"Not at all," I said through gritted teeth. "I need to get to the hospital RIGHT NOW!"

He hurried from the table and soon Kisame was by my side. "Is it time?"

"Either that or my insides are about to explode," I said sarcastically just before a wave of nausea hit me.

Miko came into the room. "I've alerted the medics, they'll be here any minute. Let's bring her into the living room where she'll be more comfortable."

I pushed Kisame's arms away and gripped the table as another contraction came. I bet I left scratch marks on the table. "That's _not_ going to happen."

Kisame looked powerless and a little afraid. He didn't know what to do anymore than I did. Thankfully Miko kept a cool head about her. She instructed Kisame to sit by me and hold my hand as she went to get a cold cloth for my head. I felt my water break and the pain increased. Now I was squeezing Kisame's hand so tightly that he gasped with pain but thankfully kept his mouth shut. Miko returned just as Sakura-san and the other medics arrived on the scene. I was in too much pain to lie flat on a stretcher so Kisame offered to carry me in his arms. As we hurried through the dark streets, I rested my head against his chest and grabbed his shirt to steady myself.

Not to sound lame, but I was pretty delirious with the pain. And it was little wonder, it turned out that the baby is in some trouble and surgery was required to deliver it. The last thing I remember before I was rendered unconscious was Kisame kissing my forehead and telling me that he wouldn't leave my side.

When I woke up, Kisame was asleep in the chair at my bedside. I was too sore to move much, but I reached out for his bandaged hand. He stirred awake and blinked wearily, but he took my hand with a smile.

"What happened to your hand?"

"You broke two of my fingers," he confessed. "You have quite the death grip."

"Sorry about that," I looked away and blushed. "I guess I wasn't thinking."

"You were a little preoccupied at the time," he teased. "But everything is ok now. The baby is healthy and strong."

"Boy or girl?"

He grinned from ear to ear. "Boy. And I have the perfect name for him."

I scowled. "And why do you get to pick the name?"

"Hey, it's only fair," he huffed. "I didn't have a say in Katsuye's."

"Alright," I conceded. "That is a fair point. So what is his name?"

"Takashi."

"Works for me," I said with a smile. "That's a great name."

Itachi came into the room with a bundle wrapped in a blue blanket. I couldn't sit up so he laid the baby right next to me. "Congratulations you two. Miko will bring Katsuye to see you all whenever you feel ready for company. I'm going home; just send for me if you need anything."

We assured him we would and I cradled the baby against my chest. He was the spitting image of Kisame with the same navy hair and blue skin.

Kisame leaned closer in his seat and rested his elbows on the bed. He gently touched Takashi's little hand and he had the same look of absolute love that he gave Katsuye when he first saw her. The love of a parent is a heart-warming transformation, the ultimate vulnerability as well as strength.

"He's so tiny," he said with tears in his eyes. "Don't worry little guy, Daddy's here to protect you. You'll grow big and strong until you meet the girl who steals your heart." He looked into my eyes with a tender expression. "And you will realize," he said, still talking to Takashi. "That you were nothing before you met her."

I lowered my eyes and blushed. "Don't you think it's a little early to talk about his girlfriend yet?"

"Oh no you don't," he grinned as he raised my chin so I could look at him again. "You're not going to change the subject yet. I mean every word Suko. I would be nothing without you." He leaned further still to brush his lips against mine. "Madara was wrong before; you were never my weakness. You have always been my true strength."

"Kisame…I…" I didn't know if I was too moved to speak or starting to get high off the pain medication, but I was speechless. I kissed him back. We separated when Takashi let out a little cry because we were accidentally squishing him. I swaddled him tighter and gently shushed him. Within seconds he fell back to sleep. I smiled as I stroked his chubby cheek and sighed in exasperation. "He's got gills too. Now almost everyone in this family has them. I'm beginning to feel left out."

"We could always draw some on your face," Kisame teased as he kissed my cheek.

I laughed. "I'll think about it."

"I don't know about you," he said tenderly as he brushed hair out of my eyes. "But I can't wait to go home. I want to show all of you off, you're all the best things in my life."

"You do realize that it could be hard for us to be accepted after everything we've done." I warned him. "We may never be forgiven."

"It doesn't matter," he said resolutely. "They can hate me, despise me, throw whatever they want at me and I will take each and every hit. As long as I know you'll be there, I can handle anything."

I smiled. He was right; we were going to be just fine, no matter what happens.


	29. Chapter 29: Epilogue

When Takashi was three months old I felt ready to travel. As grateful as we were to Itachi and Miko, we couldn't wait to move out and start our lives together. Lady Tsunade generously supplied us with an escort to Kirigakure. We didn't know what to expect when we got home, but it certainly wasn't the sight we saw on arrival. In an attempt to save face, my family threw a big welcome home party to celebrate "The Heroes of Kirigakure" or as reality would call us: the former Akatsuki traitors. We were paraded through the streets and to say that I was embarrassed was an understatement. Kisame handled it much better than I did, and of course Katsuye and Takashi enjoyed every minute of it!

After that fiasco, we were thankfully left alone. We were able to settle down in Kisame's old place and it was so weird being back to where it all started. Kisame was employed as the Mizukage's personal assistant. She sure wasn't kidding about keeping a close eye on him. It was certainly an adjustment working in an office versus the more active lifestyle of a shinobi. He tolerated the stony silence whenever he entered a room, the harsh glares from other co-workers, biting remarks about his disloyal past, or questions about Akatsuki. He would always answer politely with a smile, but late at night would take out his frustration on me…or rather with me. We would hold in our tempers until the kids were sleeping soundly, than we went downstairs and sparred until we were too exhausted to be angry anymore. We would always end up laughing at how ridiculous we were being and end the night on a happier note.

I had a pretty stressful time adjusting to regular life too. I hated all of the questions about Madara. I never wanted to think about him again and hated being constantly reminded of that battle. I also hated being restricted to Kirigakure, I was used to traveling. I loved life on the road, seeing new places and experiencing new things. That was part of the reason why being a mercenary was so appealing. But now I was just giving private lessons to anyone who wanted to learn how to use a sword. Katsuye showed a special knack for it so I trained her too. Takashi could care less about swords, but that didn't keep him out of trouble. He had inherited the Hoshigaki temper and was just as volatile as his parents. For a long time poor Katsuye was the sole voice of reason in our family. She was too Itachi-like for her own good.

We stayed in touch with Itachi and Miko. She got pregnant shortly after we left, and they had a little girl named Akiza. Itachi was required to visit every so often to "assess" Kisame's progress. He would always bring Yusei along because he and Katsuye missed each other a lot. Kisame and Itachi kept up their friendship despite the distance. I think they were good influences on each other. Itachi helped Kisame work on his temper and Kisame gave Itachi the courage to propose to Miko. Of course she said yes and we were granted permission to travel to Konoha for the wedding.

When Takashi was five and Katsuye was seven, we welcomed our last baby into the family. A little boy with purple hair, light skin, and no gills! I was so excited! This time Kisame and I both decided on the name Hayate. He was a very shy boy and kept to himself most of the time.

As time went by, things started to get better for Kisame. He started to gain respect from others and made some genuine friends. He was also allowed to accompany teams on local missions. Katsuye excelled in the ninja academy. Takashi, intent on not being compared to his "perfect" sister, maintained a low score throughout. His stubbornness never made any sense, but then again neither did mine. He was by far our most difficult child, running away from home when he was sixteen. We didn't hear from him for two years. Then we got a surprising letter from Kankuro. He had found our wayward son and had taken him in. He had no doubts that he was our son, but never told Takashi that he knew us. He went on in the letter to say that Takashi showed some interest in puppet jutsu techniques and was now apprenticed to him. Kankuro said that he would keep us updated on his progress and let us know if anything else came up. He made a world of difference in Takashi, who eventually wrote home and told us what had happened and even apologizing for making us worry! He found himself a wonderful girl in Sunagakure and remained there.

Hayate showed an interest in being a medical shinobi. Once he graduated from the academy, he went to Konoha to learn under Sakura-san, the leading expert now that Lady Tsunade had passed away. He wrote often, talking about his progress and his brushes with death while healing on the battlefield. He developed a crush on Sakura's daughter but wasn't sure if he should date his superior's daughter. He wasn't a big risk taker and we figured he'd just chicken out like he did with all of his crushes in the past. Imagine our surprise when we found out that they had eloped without telling anyone. Talk about the ultimate risk! I think Sakura-san was pretty furious for a few years, but eventually forgave them when they gave her the ultimate gift; a granddaughter named Akiko.

Katsuye and Yusei kept up their friendship over the years, but I didn't suspect anything more of it until he moved to Kirigakure once he reached the Chunin level and visited daily. I soon noticed a look in his eyes that went beyond the level of friendship. I asked her about it one night after he left and she looked me right in the eye. "Of course I know that he loves me. I love him too. We were meant to be together. I've known that for some time, ever since we were little kids."

Now if anyone other than Katsuye had said that, I would have chalked it up to teenage hormones. But she was always so sure of herself. She just knew that Yusei was the right one for her. So it wasn't surprising when he asked Kisame for her hand in marriage. Of course we gave permission. The wedding was a simple one and a little comical with both fathers bawling their eyes out. Having moved back to Konoha, the newlyweds wasted no time in having children. Within a year of being married, she had twins. A boy and a girl named Sora and Setsuna respectively. And you guessed it: they both had fox ears and tails. So strange but absolutely adorable! It felt a little weird being grandparents, but we soon loved it. You can spoil them with toys and candy and then return them to their parents for damage control.

Kisame eagerly waited for his probation to end so he could find out if he would be allowed to wear the Kirigakure headband. It was always on his mind. On the morning of the deadline, I was surprised to find the Mizukage at our front door. I invited her to sit down and poured her some tea.

"I have to say Ritsuko-san; I pride myself on being a good judge of character." She began. "But in the case of your husband I sadly misjudged him."

I held my breath. Just what did she mean?

"He has such a sensitive soul and is very considerate. In fact, he's the only one in my employ who doesn't criticize my being single. 'It'll happen when the time is right', he said." She wore a thoughtful smile. "I should have trusted Gaara-sama's judgment from the beginning and I am glad that I listened to him." She pulled out a small bag and handed it to me. "Here is his new shinobi headband. Normally we would give this in a ceremony, but I have a feeling that he'd rather share this moment with you."

"Thank you Mizukage-sama," I said gratefully. "From both of us."

"I also heard from Kisame-san that you used to be on the personal security squad of the 4th Mizukage and the Kazekage. Now that your children have all moved away, would you consider a position on mine? It does involve a lot of traveling though."

I bowed deeply. "I would be honored to."

She smiled. "Report to work on Monday, enjoy your weekend."

I wished her well as she left. When Kisame came home that night, he was more than a little discouraged.

"Is something wrong?' I asked.

"Today my probation ends and not a word on whether I've been forgiven or not. Don't they realize how important this is to me? How long I've been waiting for this? What else could I have done to convince them that I've changed?" He punched the kitchen table in frustration, cracking it in half. He groaned and pressed a hand against his forehead. "I'm sorry about that, I'll fix it later."

"Don't worry about. You've done it so often that its time we got a new one anyway." I said, taking him by the hand and leading him into the bedroom. "Come in here, I want to show you something."

He sat wearily on the bed. "Can't it wait till later? I just want to be alone right now."

"No it can't, now just close your eyes." I climbed up on the bed behind him, pulled the headband out of my pocket and tied it around his forehead.

"What are you doing?" He fidgeted.

I turned his head towards the mirror on our wall. "Ok, open your eyes."

He opened his eyes and saw his reflection. His eyes widened in disbelief and he rushed over to the mirror to see it better. He was deathly silent and I was worried if something was wrong. I approached him cautiously and rested a hand on his arm. "Is everything alright?"

His eyes crinkled at the corners as he grinned broadly. He turned round to pick me up and spin me around the room. "Is everything alright? They're better than alright! They're perfect!"

He tripped on the corner of the bed and we both fell onto it laughing. "Oh Suko, now everything is complete and back to where it should be."

I looked at him with a sad smile. "It's a shame that it's taken so long to get there." I felt a heavy weight on my chest as I recalled those hellish years in Akatsuki and tears welled up in my eyes.

He reached out hold my hand. "What's wrong?"

"Madara's been dead for twenty years…but the pain is still so fresh in my mind." I trembled. "His effect on me hasn't gone away completely. I'm still afraid that he's going to come back and take it all away again."

Kisame hugged me tightly against his chest and gently shushed me. "I know what you mean. I feel the same way sometimes. He's taken so much away from us, there's no denying that. But look at what we have now: three beautiful children, three adorable grandchildren, acceptance in Kirigakure,…and above all, we have each other. With so much to be thankful for, it really puts things into prospective doesn't it?"

"I guess it does," I murmured, enjoying his arms around me and I nuzzled my face against his shirt. "You smell so good."

He chuckled. "I'm soaked in sweat from work."

"You make sweat smell good then."

He laughed out loud and gave me noogie. "You're just being silly now. I take it that you're starting to cheer up a little?"

"More like trying to distract myself," I confessed. "But you are right Kisame, I should be more grateful." I kissed him tenderly. "I'm grateful to have you in my life."

His face softened and he kissed me back. "Me too."

The End

* AUTHORS NOTE: An extra special thanks to my friend Miko for steering this story in the right direction! This story would have gone in a completely different direction if not for her help. And special thanks to all those who favorited this story and left reviews, its great to hear feedback and have your support as well!


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